To think that people pretend not to understand obesity

[Mezzoprezzo]

After 30 plus years of failed diets I've recently started on mounjaro. Because I've placed an order and spent weeks searching stuff about weight loss medication, my Facebook feed is full of adverts from suppliers, many of which use vlogs from real clients who have lost weight. And the vast majority of comments are along the lines of, couldn't you just eat less, haven't you heard of exercise, why not just stop eating crap etc. Surely people are faking ignorance to have the fun of fat bashing. Obesity is rife! Everyone knows someone who struggles with their weight and who talks openly about it. I and every other obese person I know have tried every diet under the sun. Walk into any gym and you'll see a fair number of larger people trying bloody hard. And I know someone's going to reply to this post by talking about an obese friend who they once saw eating an entire packet of biscuits. Well numerous times I've given in to the overwhelming urge to do that too. And hated myself afterwards. It's part of the horrible condition. People have got eyes and ears and they seriously know full bloody well how hard obese people try to lose weight. They just pretend not to so they can have the fun of hating.

I think it’s when people in the same environment end up different sizes you realise how much there is that comes into play besides diet and lifestyle. It’s something you see in boarding schools - particularly prep level where they all get the exact same PE and games routine as well as school-regulated amounts of food.

But some people like to imagine it’s all down to superior self-management. Until you’ve seen it, you can’t see it I guess.

You know what, OP? I feel quite excited for you! You're going to feel so much better and when you feel good in yourself, the world becomes your oyster. I wish you all the best.

I don't think most people would find it workable to exercise a level of "self-discipline" equivalent to locking themselves in a room for the rest of their lives, and I don't think it's reasonable to ask that when there is a medication available that means you don't have to.

You're not unreasonable - but the fact is, that people who don't struggle with their weight do not understand.

Gaining a bit of weight and then being able to get rid of it fairly quickly and easily is not the same as struggling your entire adult life, whatever the reason might be.

Case in point: this comment by @rosemarble on p.1:
But keeping an eye on what you eat (I don't mean restricting or being obsessed, just putting good food into your body) and exercising shouldn't take mighty will power, these things should be the norm.

Yes, it should be the norm. But for many people, it simply isn't the case. I'm taking mounjaro (and paying for it) and it has been so so helpful. I am no longer thinking about food obsessively. I'm no longer thrown into depression because this week I didn't lose. I'm not having to radically alter my diet to fit in with some fad, I'm just eating a lot less because food isn't dominating my thoughts.

Neither my brother nor my sister are like me. The rest of my family is relatively slim. But I am fat, very fat, and have been the majority of my adult life. And the fatter I get, the worse I feel, the more I use food to cheer myself up. Which yes, I know is wrong, but people seem to be ok to accept that alcoholics have an illness and should be shown compassion but definitely not the Fat!

PS - @Mezzoprezzo your analogy to eczema is great. I have eczema too - lucky me! You know it didn't help when people told me to just stop scratching; like it doesn't help when people tell me to just eat less.

Also - the blood test I did before starting mounjaro shows my thyroid function is only a smidge above the lowest point in the normal range. Which probably explains why when I tried a traditional diet of "eat less move more" eating less than 1000 calories a day for a month lost me less than 2lbs.

I think some people are genuinely ignorant about the psychological side of obesity, ie the food addiction. For some people it's just an 'addiction' (or compulsion) to eat and the pleasure it gives them (food does hit pleasure centres in the brain apparently).

On the flip side, and not to humble brag in anyway, I'm on the opposite end of the spectrum where I can get addicted to dieting and the control of being underweight. It's still a form of addiction.

People need to stop judging peoples' weight, whether overweight or underweight, in any case.

Good luck with your weight loss journey. Remember health is the most important thing!

You have quoted me (fine) but not included what I was responding to.

The comment was "very few people over 30 can eat what they like, do no exercise and stay slim."

and I said But keeping an eye on what you eat (I don't mean restricting or being obsessed, just putting good food into your body) and exercising shouldn't take mighty will power, these things should be the norm.

You are saying "many people it's not the case", which I don't disagree with. I do disagree with "very few people over 30.....".

Imagine if a bunch of CEOs told the rest of us that because they work hard and make sacrifices to earn their seven-figure salaries, pretty much everyone else has the same capability and we're all lazy/simply not trying hard enough.

I'm not going to disagree with anything you say.

However, the food stuffs that poster describes are designed to fool our body's own "I'm full" signals.

Yes, there are medical conditions that cause this but how many of the people whose bodies don't recognise "I'm full" signals don't because the foods they are eating don't trigger them?

The problem is that on loads of "how much do you earn threads" lots of people do seem to have that attitude!

I guess there might be a crossover between those people and the ones here who over-simplify, and think it's just will power and eating sensibly....

YABU for thinking they're pretending not to understand. In most cases when people say things on the topic that are completely wrong, there's no pretence. They genuinely do not get it, and either can't or don't want to look past their cultural baggage over weight in order to not be full of shit on the issue. We've had examples on this thread.

I lost 6 stone on Mounjaro, few side effects on the higher doses but good luck on your journey.

This is why even though I have managed to get my weight down to a healthy BMI (without WLI), I still see myself as a fat person disguised as a normal weight person , and as far as I am concerned I always will be.
People tell me that I should be proud of myself, but I think that is dangerous as it will make me complacent. It sounds weird, but the sense of shame for having once let myself get to that state is what keeps me on the straight and narrow.
I have done it by breaking the link between food and pleasure, so I only eat very plain, bland foods. I know that if I were to eat one thing that I actively enjoyed rather than feeling meh about, I might not be able to go back to my diet again, and I have worked too hard to let that happen.

It can work both ways though- I’ve yo yoed between size 10 to 20 from the age of 14. I’ve had very disordered eating habits and a completely fucked up attitude to food. I’m obsessed with my size, weight and food for three decades (I’m mid 40s). It’s mental torture. But because I’ve managed to stay between a size 10-14 for the past few years, people on these very boards tell people like me that what we go through isn’t so bad and we don’t understand what it’s like to struggle, because we’re not “obese”. A bit of understanding could go both ways.

I’ve been taking Mounjaro since July and I love it. It has changed my life, mainly because I am not obsessed 24/7 with thinking about food. I never realised how much time I spent craving it - it dominated my day & I craved restaurant standard food all the time. The mental peace alone & feeling normal about food is worth gold. For context, I was suffering with a form of arthritis that left most of my body, particularly hands in agony all day. Just getting in & out of bed was painful, so cooking was out of the question & so was any form of exercise. This was due to an autoimmune disease. On top of that I was very close to becoming diabetic, so I went on it to avoid that, as it would only make my other health condition worse. I was reluctant to take it at first, but it’s the best thing I’ve done

Ok, I should have said “no one without underlying health conditions can gain wait by eating the right amount of the right food”. I should have guessed that the tiny minority that this applies to would jump on my post. You just realise that you are in the minority though? The obesity epidemic isn’t because millions of people have suddenly developed insulin resistance or the handful of other extremely rare physiological reasons for weight gain.

Lots of people have no idea if they do have a health condition though. I still don't know for sure if I do other than using logic and Dr Google. Insulin resistance would explain my weight gain and why I've responded well to mounjaro but I don't know for sure. And until the last year I'd never even heard of insulin resistance, to know if it might be the issue.
What to do know what that no matter what I did 'right', nothing was working and my weight kept moving in the wrong direction. There will be many, many people in that position. Neither of us have any idea how many people are just lazy fatties who don't know carrots are good for them and how many people have all sorts of low level but potentially very fucky health stuff going on.

I’m obese and as a child my dad used to tell me my only problem was weak arms. As in they were too weak to push myself away from the table. He was a bugger. But he possibly has a point. I just bloody love eating. It’s my favourite thing to do. It just is.

I hope the people on these weight loss drugs get to stay on them for life because honestly they seem to have no idea about the reality for most people who stay slim. The idea that it is just lucky and they just got unlucky by being fat.

It's so disempowering the idea that for the most part we don't have control over our bodies. I am saying this as someone who has a chronic illness that was bad luck. I can still work within the cards that I was dealt to keep as healthy as I can. Of course it can be really bloody hard. I hate doing mobility exercises everyday just to have a body that still functions below most but I crack on. I hate that it makes running so difficult and that others who have put far less effort than me into it can perform better but I still crack on. We aren't all on a level playing field but most people do have it in their power to make changes for the better and to take some control over their health without needing to pay for expensive medication. It's pretty handy for the pharmaceutical companies that this narrative that people are helpless to control their own weight has come about at the same time as these wl drugs.

Good luck op!

i started in January and it’s the best thing I’ve done for myself in years

Getting half way through a meal and actually feeling full was such a crazy experience people who know what it’s like to feel full and stop eating won’t understand this always on empty setting

ps I have always cooked from scratch and avoid alcohol and junk I stick well within the recommended calories for my height and age - for me it’s totally hormonal my diet hasn’t changed just less of it and now I stop eating by 7pm with no anxiety or urges TOATAL GAME CHANGER!!!

go for it!

Correct about the food industry. Once you know this though, I find it quite easy to make decent choices. But you need to be aware of this first and understand what that really means and what consuming healthy food really is. It’s so warped in the UK with the supermarkets/branding/packaging/advertising.

No disrespect but people who are obese obviously don’t try hard enough as they wouldn’t be obese. My weight is within the normal BMI category but does go up and down. I have to work really hard to make sure it doesn’t go too high and to lose weight. It isn’t easy I know.
Having said that I do think some people are food addicts, and need work on the mind as other addicts do.
Good luck with your weight loss, hope it goes well.

No disrespect but people who are obese obviously don’t try hard enough as they wouldn’t be obese.

'No disrespect, but... You're all just shit and lazy and stupid. I can manage it so why can't you useless fatties.'

The pharmaceutical companies were already doing very well from the consequences of the failed narratives about obesity. It's a win win situation for them. They've long done very well out of humans being a species who evolved in scarcity and for whom the tendency to become obese easily has been an advantage until very recently.

I met an obese woman on a holiday with 2 other women friends. This obese woman ate constantly and had packs of M&Ms and Skittles in her handbag which she said she needed because her blood sugar might dip too low. She wasn’t diabetic. She clearly overate. Similarly, I worked with a woman who would eat sweet from her handbag all day long.

Maybe obese people haven’t had healthy eating modelled to them, or don’t understand the concept of a calorie deficit? Eating sweets all day would blow any diet out of the water.

Also, plenty of thin people like chocolates and desserts too, they just don’t eat them because they don’t want to gain weight. It’s self discipline.