He bought me flowers.. with my own money

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I feel a bit weird about this today and I'm wondering if I'm being unreasonable.

DP runs out of money a week or so before he gets paid. If we (or our children) need something I let him use my card. He transfers me money when he gets his wages, in this case next week.

This morning he comes in with flowers which surprised me as he doesn't have any money. I thought he might have put some aside especially, with it being mother's day.

It turns out he's bought them for me on my card. I've paid for my own mother's day present.

I could have done without them to be honest as I'm a bit lower on funds than I usually would be myself this week.

AIBU to not be happy/grateful about this? I haven't said anything as I don't want to put a dampener on the day for the kids.

Personally I find it weird when people with children have seperate finances. In answer to your post, if he transfers you the money back, then what difference does it make. I think the bigger issue is that this is a regular thing and perhaps you both need to sit down and do a budget

You’ve done the right thing by not upsetting your children. Sounds like he no choice but to get them from the children as he has run out of money. However, I can see how this would upset you and a conversation needs to be had about how to avoid this in the future.

but he gives it back and end of month is tomorrow

When the kids are out of earshot, tell him you’re low on funds and need him to give you the flowers money.

I can sympathise.

I am paying for the mother's day meal for everyone due to similar reasons.

It's just how it makes us feel isn't it.

Well they do say it's the thought that counts.

OP, you need to just change you financial “arrangement” with him, don’t bring up the flowers. Would you prefer he didn’t think of you on Mother’s Day?

Come on, that’s a ridiculous suggestion, very childish.

But if you have never ever raised it with him on a decade…. Perhaps he assumed not important to you

either way, I don’t this that him spending £3 of his own money on some cut price flowers for you would have meant anything to either of you

I expected this to be a post about a son and mother, not a partner!

OP does he have some sort of neurodivergence or something, which means he can’t handle money? (I know several people with ADHD who struggle). Otherwise what on earth is he doing with his money? You have children and he ‘runs out’ a week before he gets paid?

This is not about Mother’s Day but a bigger issue. It’s merely highlighted the ridiculousness of the situation.

As long as he pays you back that’s fine but he needs to something to get out of the cycle. Part time job to clear the debt / build a buffer.

Hi

l am sorry but l think yiur husband is well out of order. Is he taking the piss?

I do agree that If he had any thought for you he would have kept back even five or ten pounds back, for a nice bunch of flowers and a from somewhere like ALDI

This running out of money mullarkey is very questionable and has now become a regular thing for you. He sounds a bit of a shyster, chancer snd user to be honest.

Why does he run out of money? What is he really spending it on?

Does he have a secret drink or gambling problem? As Addicts behave often like your husband in some ways

You need to sort your budget and finaces out asap with him

I hope this post does not sound really mean

You sound like a good kind person snddeserve to be treated with love and respect.

Hope you can get things sortedvsoon

Best Regards

😻🤞👍

X

@FroggyJBSI so agree! And as a pp said, men will happily go on doing exactly what they like until there's a big, uncomfortable boulder in the way. Someone else said to be the stone in his shoe. I say be the boulder in his favourite chair. Men can be like big, unattractive children.