Good salary- no money - struggling to afford everything!

[Boxingshibes]

This is mainly a vent- so please be gentle
I work ft in a full on role.
I have to travel for work at short notice so would find it difficult to get a 2nd job.
I make £62k which sounds loads
But this is to support 4 people. Myself
Dh is disabled and unable to work.
2 teenagers. Dd1 is looking for any work but not found anything.
Dd2 is autistic and agoraphobic.
We also have 2 dogs and 2 cats.
We rent in the SE. Our rent is going up by £100 to £1800 next month.
Next years council tax is almost £3k.
Gas and electricity is about £250
Food is about £150 a week.
Everything just keeps going up.

We may have to pay for dd1s college next year then there will be uni which we can't afford.

Dh will progressively get worse. Dd2 will possibly not be able to leave home. My df is in and out of hospital at the moment and dm is showing signs of dementia.

I just want to run away.

OP’s DD will very shortly cease to be compulsory school age and while LAs have the power to make provision for students who are not compulsory school age, they do not have a duty to under section 19 of the Education Act 1996. So it is quite unusual for LAs to agree provision. Knowing this, the LA is likely to drag things out and any enforcement action will be take too long given the short time left until DD ceases to be CSA (or 6 weeks before she ceases to be CSA given DD won’t be sitting exams). OP would be better focusing on an EHCP rather than section 19 provision. The EHCP can secure provision, although one or more appeals may be necessary.

@StrivingForSleep ah yes, you're spot on, I skipped over the bit that she's actually Yr 11 age, apologises.

She says her DD is at college studying 'forensics' though I don't know any 6th form college that provides that course.

I don't think it is a high wage anymore...

I was going to say this, £1800 where I am is a nice 2 bed or a shitty 3 bed so actually getting a 4 bed for that is very cheap!!

Unless she relocates hundreds of miles north, which OP has already described why she is unable to do so.

And get rid of pets, no! Pets are family, I'd go without before I got rid of my cats they are family and I love them dearly.

Ours does, and criminology and all sorts of other courses that aren't just the "main" subjects.

Loads of colleges do. It's BTEC course.

Agree. I’m se and looking at £1800 for a 3 bed in my area as average

yes some a bit cheaper at 1500 but some are £2k

I think anyone who lives outside the SE probably doesn't fully grasp what rent and house prices are like here. If you're in reasonable commute distance to London then it can be mental.

But always suggesting people move from SE is not the answer.

Agree @MooseAndSquirrelLoveFlannel

Agree @MooseAndSquirrelLoveFlannel

@Boxingshibes

You have a lot on your plate, I feel for you.

Based on the information you've given, I think it's highly likely that you're eligible for Universal Credit, and I strongly advise you to call Help to Claim on 08001448444 ASAP.
The exact amount depends on various factors including the age and status of DD1 (this will affect whether she is a 'qualifying young person' for a UC claim - if she is you'll get the child element for her) as well as where you live. As you're a private tenant, any help with rent will be capped at the 3 bedroom LHA rate, which varies a lot depending on area.

Do you claim Child Benefit or not? As you earn £62k you might not claim?

Has your DH been unable to work for a long time, or was he once able to work before his health/disability got worse? I'm just wondering whether he ever worked and paid NI, and if he might be eligible for new-style ESA. No worries if not.

Some people have mentioned DLA for DD2 but as she is 16 it would be PIP. Based on what you've said it sounds as if she could be eligible for the mobility component. Why not call for a claim form?

Lastly if she has not had an assessment for autism, and you think she needs one, look into Right to Choose and talk to her and the GP about it. If GP agrees to refer, you can ask for a referral to any private provider that accepts NHS funding. It will not cost you anything because it's funded by the NHS.

Pets are expensive.

That wasn't mentioned in the original post though, so I must have just missed the update.

Well said.

Get rid of your pets, that will save you loads. I know people will say pets are part of your family, but your husband and children need to take priority.

You are likely to be eligible for new-style ESA, given that you were working and paying NI.
See https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/benefits/sick-or-disabled-people-and-carers/employment-and-support-allowance/help-with-your-esa-claim/check-if-you-can-claim-esa/#h-check-if-you-can-claim-new-style-esa

@BooneyBeautiful it was in OP’s second post.

Is that A level?

Yes

I'm so sorry, things are really hard right now for so many people and you have a long list of responsibilities.

Am not sure moving would save you money in the short term, but you should consider how to plan for that as this doesn't look like it will be improving enough in the near future for this rent to be sustainable. Some massive changes have to happen for you to keep the bills paid.

I just got the letter for my daughter's disability allowance - it doesn't require a diagnosis, just lots of questions to answer about the impact of all this on you and the family - and of course the person themselves. It sounds like you should qualify for some support for your child as this absolutely is affecting you every single day.

Then it's really just the usual - write down every single thing you spend money on for a month and start getting creative. Each little change isn't going to make enough of a difference but you'll need quite a lot of small changes to get yourself where you need to be.

Your older daughter needs to start thinking creatively as well as you will not be able to fund her education - apprenticeships, etc are the way forward. What does she want to do?

But you can say that about any course or job?! I work in the Industry and support people into Apprenticeships on a daily basis. But thank you for your input.

They wouldn’t say it because children are humans whereas pets are animals.
£150 p month is £1800 a year. I’d say the pets are a luxury you can’t afford plus make renting more difficult.

I'm sorry but I think there is something seriously wrong with the OP's priorities and ability to budget. she has another thread about how much it will cost to take her DD to Scotland to see a museum, stay overnight etc and fund her DD's pub crawl. Yet this is the daughter who appears to have done very little to get weekend work when they live in or near a town bursting with shops, cafes, hotels, etc etc.

If you're really struggling, you can't afford this and shouldn't be wasting money on it.

Well of course. But if they dont know what they want to do then they aren’t going to especially stand out in a market full of people that do!