Mother's Day - should school do more?

[inquisitiveinga]

Disclaimer: I am absolutely not going to complain regarding this matter, I understand that teachers may have completely valid reasons for the below. My child's teacher is also FANTASTIC, she doesn't have children, and I can't help but think that due to this she perhaps doesn't understand the value of a handmade card?

My child has come home from school today and it's very clear that nothing has been prepared for Mother's Day, at least where their class is concerned. Usually a "beautiful" card comes home and it really makes my day.

Personally, I'm not bothered. I'm fortunate enough to have a husband who will not doubt ensure I have something from my 7 year old, and 1 year old (although I'm not really sure anything from her is warranted!). However, I can't help but think about single mothers in the class who may not receive anything (and who absolutely should).

AIBU to even be having this thought process?

Bravo for the sensitive parenting you are doing, and I hope that maybe you can process your own bereavement a little more as well in the knowledge that it will have fed in useful ways into the wisdom and empathy you are able to bring to your parenting role now.

So this is a goady post, of course.

I am a teacher. It's not my job to ensure that your child gets a Mother's Day card. Sorry, but some students don't have mothers or have different, non traditional families and I wouldn't want to risk any child feeling hurt or left out.

Mother's Day is a family event and it's the job of a family member I.e. the kids dad or a grandparent to sort a Mother's Day card or gift. Teachers can't be made responsible for the feelings of the adult family members of their students!

I teach Year 6. My Mother’s Day cards were rubbish this year as I had to leave them to a supply teacher last minute (literally, one minute before the afternoon session began) because I was pulled out of class do to interventions ahead of SATs.
It happens.

Grow up.

I remember in school learning a song that was very upsetting to a girl whose mother had died. She was probably 5 or 6 at the time. I would have been 4 or 5, and it broke my heart. It still does more than fifty years later. The teacher wasn't bothered BTW. It was just the sense that she had been cast adrift that got to me. It was horrible. Of course nobody can expect everyone else to walk on eggshells, and people will get things wrong, but some things should be easy to get right.

My Ds lost his father at a very young age through illness. It would break my heart when Father’s Day came around and they’d all come out with cards they’d made. Not everyone is fortunate enough to have both parents around and I wish they had not bothered for Mother’s Day and Father’s Day’s years ago but times were different then. I’m glad they are a bit more sensitive towards the issue now and they shouldn’t make them.

When I worked in childcare we would do cards together but school never did. School is for educate not crafting.

This is not education beyond yr/y1 for whom writing any sort of card is still a useful excuse to write. Its not schools jobs to gap fill to ensure single mums get a card.

Times have changed. How many Christmas cards are given out at school these days? Much much less than in the past. I didn’t even realise its mothers day this weekend. Some countries mark it on another date anyway. Your comment about the teacher not having children is ridiculous by the way.

Is this a joke? 😂

Great yet another thing for parents to blame on teachers! How about your partners? If you want a bit of paper that bad they should organise it

I didn’t actually say that - I said I couldn’t imagine them crying and asking where there mum is. I am just saying I think any upset could be preempted and handled sensitively. Giving some children the chance to be compassionate and others the chance to experience compassion. Ignoring someone’s situation isn’t compassion

And that’s essentially what you could do in this instance ‘you don’t have to make a card’ ‘would you like to tell me something about your mum’ ‘who looks after and loves you shall we make them a card’ etc etc.

do you see how it’s an opportunity to give a child some space to understand what they are experiencing? And also an opportunity to experience understanding and compassion from those around them

OK

so for the majority of young children or is the mother who cares for the child providing them with the basic necessities for the child to reach school ready to learn. It is the mother who is washing the clothes, preparing the meals, transporting the children, reading the bed time stories etc. Schools work in partnership with parents not in a separate bubble.

by just devoting a small portion of time to allowing children to make a card or gift (and remember the children may need prompting) the school is helping a child think about empathy and the importance of family relations. A loving family is so important in a rounded education.

I am with the OP that schools can be a little less stuffy about this and allow the making of cards which may mean a lot to a stressed mother. The school will obviously wish parents to help the child read and support them academically so it could be viewed as a small feature of appreciation as well.

Yes there should be some sensitivity in schools but to abandon a well respected part of our family culture for the sake of a few to my mind is not the way forward. We wouldn't consider not talking about war in history due to a child possibly being in a war zone or Romeo and Juliet because a child has experienced suicide in their family so we do have to consider the majority as well the minority. The good in this case in my opinion outweighs any potential harm.

I appreciate that the manufacturer of mother's days cards is not a teachers job but it seems incredibly petty to not devote a small amount of time to it if you can. Shooting its not my job does seem quite inflammatory.

A parent couk d day it's not my job to read to a child or provide books as it is the schools job and there would be understandable outrage from teachers. Aren't the teaching profession and parents in partnership to produce well rounded empathetic educated children?

In also think that mother's day having links to Christian tradition is an easy target in some Britain where there can be scorn about Christian historical culture yet an inclusive ity when it comes to other cultures and religions .

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mothering_Sunday
Mother's day could constitute part of general Christian belief and traction so schools could incorporate mothering Sunday as part of religious education (which is a schools job). There is no harm in spending a lesson for the making of cards and it can serve as a useful lesson.

That's fine, but the teacher didn't and she had her reasons.

People are getting so angry here.
Chill.

I think it's a tough one to navigate. My son came home with a lovely meaningful card with a picture of him as a flower. My niece and nephew lost their mother at Christmas and have been upset coming home from school with all the talk of mothers day. Teachers have it so hard trying to be sensitive to every family and their needs and difficulties.

OP: ‘what about the poor single mothers’ (despite being angry at catering to minorities, when the minority posters are talking about are grief stricken children). All to support being cross about not getting a card that personally she is NOT BOTHERED ABOUT 🤣

In response to your question, my year two DC didn’t make a card or anything in school. They made one for me in after school club which was lovely but didn’t cross my mind to see if school had done something. The teachers work their socks off, there’s an art curriculum so as much as people say just do it in art, I’d rather the teachers teach rather than pander to me and my desire to have a card. My kids love me, they show that in a multitude of ways. I’m lucky to have them and that will absolutely do me.

Sorry you’re disappointed by the lack of card from school - but maybe a bit of maturity and thinking about the bigger picture wouldn’t go amiss. Happy Mother’s Day!

Honestly by year 2 they might not have time in the curriculum. I did give my class (Year 3) half an hour of crafting at the end of Friday to make a quick card (all have mums living with them). We won't do Easter cards or crafts or anything next week as no time with finishing off/ half days/ assemblies etc! Perhaps school is prioritising that or perhaps still teaching the art curriculum for that half term.
Schools have quite packed days and fundamentally mothers day is a home thing not a school thing.

Oh for God's sake. Why is everything always teacher's responsibility?

This thread has just confirmed my absolute admiration for primary school teachers. What a load of bollox you're constantly having to deal with from entitled parents.
I could not do your job. 🌻