To take DD 5 to McDonald's every other weekend?

[quincyquince]

She's gluten free, so has a portion of small chips and either a small mcflurry or orange juice or sauce with the chips.

We go after swimming.

This is ok, right? My friend thinks it's awful that she goes twice a month. But it's not like she's having the processed bread and cheese and stuff all the time?

Exactly this! It's easy to equate not providing 'good' food with bad parenting, but in reality some of the best parents are doing all they can just to get something in their children's bellies.

Time and money (and proper allocation thereof) are part of parenting.

Whether or not to take an age 5 child to MCDonald’s dozens of times per year clearly is a parenting choice. What else would it be??

OP asked for opinions in a large forum; if she only wanted approval why bother?

But chose to have children they couldn’t afford to feed…

Because the child is gluten free.....

Or, had children they could afford to feed then circumstances changed.

When we had DD we both earned less than we do now, but cost of living was much lower. Since having her we've both had promotions and the wage rises that come with it, but as far as money goes, we're in the same position because the cost of everything went up dramatically too.

People lose jobs. They become unwell. Things change. Not everyone on a low income has chosen to have children whilst in the low income. They could afford them when they had them and then things changed. Would you suggest they send them back??

people's circumstances can change overnight. my sister was fine easily affording her 2 kids - then she lost her job and was struggling for months and months

it's a parenting choice, but it doesn't mean is "bad parenting"

Thanks OP, this thread has given me some really good laughs.

Well, it depends on your definition.

Whatever way you look at it, every other weekend is creating a habit/routine.
The fact that that habit/routine is to go to a fast food outlet which sells food and drinks that are high in salt and sugar and have no nutritional value can not be good parenting, that’s for sure.

yes - indeed she does eat less crap than other kids - partly becasof the GF - we can't really go to bakeries/cafes for sweet treats - as its only borwnies she can have and she can find them too choclatey/sweet.

Her little friend next door, daily meals look a bit like this
breakfast, coco pops and a cup of tea
lunch, billy bear ham sandwich, frube, quavers and a penguin
dinner; turkey dinosaur, spaghetti shapes and potato smiles - and icecream for after
snacks - are bear yoyos / sweets / crisps

he didn't even know what a pepper was when he was round ours the other day.

my daughter has:
breakfast, boiled eggs, plain yoghurt and some blueberries
lunch: cheese and lettuce roll, mini carrots, cucumber, cherry toms, and a satsuma
dinner; brown rice, grilled salmon and broccoli - if we have pudding I might make a crumble or something. (but I'm boring and put chia/flaxseeds and nuts and oats in the crumble mix to help boost the nutrition)
snacks: banana / nuts / hard boiled eggs / cold meats

So yes - this is why I am questioning whether its not that bad she has chips twice a month, and then OJ/Sauce/Icecream - because I don't think it's so bad? but here are people saying it's akin to poison or something

I agree 😆. I don’t think some people realise how ridiculous they sound.

Well, if that is all it takes to be a bad parent - then we're all guilty. I guess you've stopped all cakes and sweets at birthdays, chocolate at Easter, only allow them to eat vegetables at parties etc other wise your just creating a habit/routine to give your kids food high in sugar/salt with no nutritional value on these occasions.

The more people say things like "Its bad parenting" or "This will set DD up with bad habits" - the more I think these posters have incredibly unhealthy relationships with food.

An occasional treat is very different to a fortnightly routine, as you well know.
Look, you asked the question. People have answered.
You clearly weren’t interested in any answer that you disagree with, so why ask? You do you. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Occasional treat? Kids this age get invited to DOZENS of parties a year, as well as celebrating family birthdays and Easter and Christmas etc - literally the association with celebration is with sweet food. it is a routine and habit that the entire nation upholds.

Job loss, economic woes and other setbacks happen in most lifetimes and should be factored in to family planning. It’s a feature, not a bug.

Well said, @Swiftie1878

I mean, this was started because the OP’s real life friend chastised her. Clearly something is amiss.

My daughter didn’t (and doesn’t as an adult) ‘gorge on crap’. We had fast food sometimes. I mostly cook (and cooked then) from scratch at home. What I don’t do is use nasty, judgement laden words like ‘gorge’ (or others I see a lot on here like ‘gobble’, ‘stuff’, etc) about food.

You cannot be uneducated enough to think that peoples situations don't change, so I won't bother listing all the ways in which people end up struggling with children they were perfectly able to afford at birth

It's one meal in forty two. That's definitely occasional

The marketing team at McDonalds have done an awesome job on making sure some people’s beliefs are that eating a McDonald’s equates to a joyous existence.

Contingencies can and should be planned for.

I wouldn't wish it on anyone, but you can tell you've been lucky enough to not have a crazy run of bad luck.

We've got two good careers with decent incomes and progression plans. We have insurances and savings. A while back, despite being in completely different fields (because don't put all your eggs in one basket, right?) both of us were really unexpectedly put at risk of redundancy, at the same time, and at the same time as DH had a cancer scare.

Now, both of us wound up safe in our roles, thankfully, and DHs health stuff turned out minor, luckily. But what could have happened was both incomes were gone, we were both looking for new employment while trying to pay all the bills (and insurance premiums) from savings and while DH was undergoing chemo.

What's your contingency plan for the entire household income disappearing overnight and your partner needing intensive treatment while job hunting? I'd really like to know, because I am really good at overthinking the future possibilities and even I didn't think that would happen til it almost did.

These things happen to people.