Feeling very uncomfortable and almost violated after visit today by BT Engineer

[DontGoChasinWaterfalls]

I need a sense check and to realise I'm not overreacting.
BT engineer came today to upgrade my service to fibre optic broadband. He was late first of all which could've been accepted if he acknowledged he was late and apologised. He stepped into my house with his work boots on and I asked if he would mind wearing shoe covers as I have grey carpets. I'd never ask workmen to take shoes off and I provide the blue shoe coverings. He huffed and said he has to go in and out my house. Immediately I felt uncomfortable but explained I have a small child who sits and crawls on the carpet. He reluctantly agreed.
He somehow managed to jam the lock on my porch door by trying to leave it on the latch. After 15 minutes I managed to release it. He then tells me he needs a colleague to come to do something outside with the plyons and phrased it as "if it's after 2pm they won't bother coming". He eventually starts work after 40 minutes after faffing and I go upstairs to do some work.
5 minutes later I hear a panicked call asking if he could use my bathroom. Before I could say anything he was half way up the stairs. I froze and he directed himself to the bathroom. He was in there for 20 minutes and I was now downstairs feeling quite upset. Eventually he comes downstairs and doesn't say anything. I went upstairs to survey the damage and it was horrendous to say the least. To make things worse he rooted through my wardrobe to find the toilet paper.
I feel disgusted and sick..but feel like I'm overreacting as I don't know if he was unwell or has a medical condition.
He's got to come back tomorrow and I don't want him here.
aibu to call OpenReach to request another engineer???

Ok. So what then happens when you need the toilet? Do you hold it in all day or does the toilet suddenly fix itself for that time? If you do use the toilet, do you not flush so as not to alert the person working in your home? Or do you brazen it out?

Are you asking for a friend? 😂😉 Only if you bring your laminator.

They're not here that long.

Of course 😂

Not shit, Sherlock 😂😂😂😂 I'm sorry but you're making it too easy now.

But seriously. What would you do if someone did need to stay for longer? You can't guarantee your home will never need major work doing at some point

Perhaps. I don't care.

I think it’s fine to ask for another one. This one was late, outside the window, then made it sound like your fault he couldn’t get someone extra because it was after 2pm, jammed your door, went into your bedroom cupboard, argued about shoe coverings…
why would you want him back?

Use the toilet.

If I was expecting them to be here longer I wouldn't use the sign, I'd just say you can't use it.

But have you ever actually done that? I can’t imagine managing if it was a friend.

If it's been my attitude from the beginning how have I only just shown my true colours?

Where did I state I did this with guests?

If it's been my attitude from the beginning how have I only just shown my true colours?

Ah sorry! It’s been a long thread! I’m not sure why I got that impression.

No need to apologise. I was referring to people I don't know who are here to do xyz.

Yes I feel uncomfortable about that too. I tend to prepare for it, and would let them if asked, however I think it’s good manners if working in someone’s home in a professional capacity to try to take your toileting elsewhere. I’ve mentioned above the workmen we use who have never even asked - but they are from a slightly older generation. It’s certainly quite possible.

Totally agree. What really strengthened it for me was when I had workmen at my home and I was in a hotel (unable to stay at home due to leak) I came back to shit smeared on the walls and toilet rolls. It was disgusting. I have OCD and it took me about 8 hours to clean the bathroom, it was awful. So since then I have to politely refuse.

Well it sounds as though op’s worker also left the sort of mess I cannot imagine any of my friends leaving - and perhaps that’s what it comes down to: they don’t care what you think or how you feel because they don’t have a proper relationship with you.

I once walked into my bathroom to find a plumber taking a stand up pee in our loo with the door wide open. It was awful. Not one of my friends would do that.

Shoe covers are annoying. He didn't mean to be late or jam your door. There should be spare toilet rolls visible in the bathroom in case people need them - we have a caddy by each toilet that holds four spare rolls. He got caught short and should have cleaned up better but may have been a bit panicked. I would get over and not complain.

🤢

That's gross but I agree. It's akin to how people treat public loos vs their ones at home. There's a tenancy to think "not my toilet not my problem."

My family would never leave my toilet in a state as

1. We share the same hygeine levels and 2. They'd be embarrassed.

i guess if it's a stranger's toilet whom you'll likely never see again then it makes it easier.

Re leaving the door open that's so inappropriate and I wouldn't be surprised if misogyny plays a part.

Also when you go into shops ( and I’m not meaning Costa type spots or garden centres or supermarkets) many of them won’t let customers use the loo - even for very little people who understandably have not learnt the art of pacing and planning ahead. It’s a commercial relationship. I’m not really sure it’s that different if the commercial transaction takes place in your home not your shop.