Feeling very uncomfortable and almost violated after visit today by BT Engineer

[DontGoChasinWaterfalls]

I need a sense check and to realise I'm not overreacting.
BT engineer came today to upgrade my service to fibre optic broadband. He was late first of all which could've been accepted if he acknowledged he was late and apologised. He stepped into my house with his work boots on and I asked if he would mind wearing shoe covers as I have grey carpets. I'd never ask workmen to take shoes off and I provide the blue shoe coverings. He huffed and said he has to go in and out my house. Immediately I felt uncomfortable but explained I have a small child who sits and crawls on the carpet. He reluctantly agreed.
He somehow managed to jam the lock on my porch door by trying to leave it on the latch. After 15 minutes I managed to release it. He then tells me he needs a colleague to come to do something outside with the plyons and phrased it as "if it's after 2pm they won't bother coming". He eventually starts work after 40 minutes after faffing and I go upstairs to do some work.
5 minutes later I hear a panicked call asking if he could use my bathroom. Before I could say anything he was half way up the stairs. I froze and he directed himself to the bathroom. He was in there for 20 minutes and I was now downstairs feeling quite upset. Eventually he comes downstairs and doesn't say anything. I went upstairs to survey the damage and it was horrendous to say the least. To make things worse he rooted through my wardrobe to find the toilet paper.
I feel disgusted and sick..but feel like I'm overreacting as I don't know if he was unwell or has a medical condition.
He's got to come back tomorrow and I don't want him here.
aibu to call OpenReach to request another engineer???

We’ll have to agree to disagree on that as well

I won't admit to things I did not say.

Workspeople are allowed in my home.

Workspeople aren't allowed to use my toilet.

It's not a personal attack so no.

I don't care. I won't put a stranger's want to use my toilet to be placed higher than my need for peace.

I don’t know why you are trying to argue with me about the law: You are not legally obliged to allow people working in your house to use the toilet. You are only obliged by standards of common decency / humanity.

We all agree that this is what you said.

we also all agree that it’s not against the law for you to deny a workman to use your toilet.

And that is what I was referring to. You don't allow work people working in your home to use your toilet

I'm wondering how my home is a work place. Legality comes into it.

That's correct.

it has nothing to do with legality.

a workplace is a place where people work/ do their jobs.
This is simply ordinary use of human language.

Does your home have some kind of legal “workplace” status that means you are legally required to offer your loo. No.

It is if you want work done. OP could have said, 'No, I don't want my broadband upgraded, I suppose.

Seriously, someone is doing necessary work in your house and needs the loo, you'd say 'Go to the supermarket down the road?' What a horrible way to treat tradespeople.

A work place does need to be legal, yes.

No, it isn't.
No one is under any obligation to allow workspeople access to their toilet.

Ok. For the third time we will have to agree to disagree.

Seriously, someone is doing necessary work in your house and needs the loo, you'd say 'Go to the supermarket down the road?' What a horrible way to treat tradespeople.

yup. I can’t even imagine being so rude.

I think you're being a bit precious here. If you're that bothered, my only advice is to never allow strangers in your home. You're expecting more than is normal and you cannot understand why he isn't behaving like you want him to - because he isn't you! Your standards aren't his and that's ok for him and you but if you want everyone to behave like you, only let you onto your home. Failing that chill out, relax, it'll all be ok! There's people dying.....

There is no obligation no, but most people would consider it basic manners to allow someone in your home to use the toilet if required.

Treat others as you would wish to be treated and all that.

Agree with this. He sounds awful (although I wouldn’t go as far as saying I’d feel violated in your shoes) but it sounds like he had a bit of an emergency and you’ve been a bit precious. Unless he had shoes caked in mud, I would’ve let it go as I can see his point about being in and out.

Yes I don’t agree it’s his workplace. They need to remember it’s first and foremost someone’s home.

I find it really rude when tradesmen don’t come back for several days then just rock up totally unannounced while you’re still in your negligee one morning - as if there was no need for them to warn you they would be on a ladder looking in your bathroom window at 8 am.

I think a lot of the respectfulness of tradespeople has really dropped away over recent years and, when handled like that, I can see why the op might feel there is sn element of violation.

As soon as the poo event took place, he'd have been gone. Disrespectful tradesmen have no right to be in your home. Complain to BT (if you can get someone to answer the phone 😂).

Absolutely, treat others as you would wish to be treated. That includes not leaving the olfactory evidence of a really smelly shit, and a skidmatk the size of a Mars bar stuck on the inside of the bog. And don't rummage in someone else's cupboards 👍

Sure thing. I never request to use others' toilets aside from when I'm a guest.

Because your work situation is different. You flyer so you go to the doors of multiple properties. Unless you now have a different job, you are not based inside one property for any length of time so your job isn't the same in the slightest. I also wouldn't ask to use the toilet if I was flyering but if I was a plumber, an engineer etc then I would.

Wow You can control your IBS to that extent Im impressed. Whats your secret because the rest of us with this condition would love to know

No no. I told you of one job.
I've also worked in people's houses. Never requested to use the toilet.

Thank you. If I am having diarrhoea I take Imodium and Mebeverine. If it's uncontrolled I do not leave the house as I'm unwell.