How to help DD navigate the situation?

[Gaterade]

DD is currently year 8 - 13 and a half - early September birthday.

DD has recently lost weight - in the past 4 months - and gone from 91st centile to 50th centile in weight. She’s done this through not eating at all between meals and cutting out milky tea/coffee.

One of the girls in her group is noticeably overweight and since DD has been a ‘normal’ weight, has called her ‘anorexic’ and has got others to ‘gang up’ on her - albeit not in a traditionally violent/aggressive way - just she seems to be the ringleader in keeping on at her at how her eating patterns are worrying, blah blah.

DD said she innocently talked about something else yesterday - a current pop song - as it happens and was accused by this ‘friend’ of ‘changing the subject!’

How can I help DD navigate this? I’m so proud of her for what she’s achieved and don’t want her mood brought down.

Just to say - I know the girls in DD’s friendship group - there are at least 2 girls in her group who are noticeably thinner than DD - one in particular would be well below the 50th centile - but I notice the ‘friend’ doesn’t have a go at either of them.

AIBU to be annoyed at this and just want to help DD navigate it?

Congrats on your weight loss 🙌

I had to read your post twice actually - because when you think about it - it’s amazing that grown adult women get jealous about these things - I almost can’t believe it ! And the “don’t lose any more weight comments” soon get tired ..

@Gaterade well done to your daughter for losing the excess weight. 10 stone at 5’1” was indeed heavy and I am not surprised that she lost the extra weight easily as she is young and her metabolism will be working with her not against her!

I am shocked at the posters insinuating some sort of eating disorder - losing a few lbs per week is perfectly healthy. I can easily lose that in a week in my late 30s so no idea why people are shocked that a teenager can do so.

You have already had good advice from others but I would also be telling your daughter to give this “friend” a wide berth. She sounds jealous and spiteful - agree with the previous poster who suggested your daughter shut her down by simply saying “why are you obsessed with my weight it’s weird” (or words to that effect) x

Thank you - and I totally agree with everything you say here ❤️

Sounds like introducing healthy habits - (why was a 13 year old even drinking tea and coffee by y8 !) but agree it’s jealousy even as an adult women get that when they sort themselves out. It’s hard but like the idea of speaking to the school but also the fatter friend might now feel she is being shown up so seeing if they can have a more 121 conversation to share un judgy feelings might work.