Sister in law using same baby name

[Funinthesun20]

My sil has just given birth to my beautiful niece she and my brother have practically named the baby the same as my daughter 7.

Im talking close naming, think Grace/Gracie, Sophia/sophie, Rose/Rosie, Isabel/Isabella, Ella/Ellie….

Now, I know no-one has a right to a name and I know I don’t, that’s not what I’m saying, and I’m not even mad, just really confused! Surly when they were looking at names, they thought that one’s just like our nieces, not that one then? Like my husbands nephew is Theo and we liked Leo, but we thought that’s too close so moved on to other names.

Mine and my family’s reaction probably should have been better. But I was in complete shock when they told her name. I wasn’t rude, but my face said it all!

But the way they (sil and brother) are now acting as if they don’t have a clue why anyone would comment/react. As a lot of people are, as in family friends, wider family, even my work colleagues. Even my daughter is a bit confused “why does the baby have almost the same name as me?”
My mum is now laughing about having to list her grandchildren and say two with practically identical names!

I don’t know the point to this post I’m just…. Venting.

They love your daughter. Be appreciative of that. This won’t harm you in any way. It’s a compliment

@CheesePlantBoxes , your post made a claim that wasn't true, or was highly unlikely to be true.
I'd not mince my words if my sibling had done it to me either.

@YourWildAmberSloth , the Calebs aren't each other's cousins, so it's not like OP's situation.

My brother and SIL did this. They named their daughter a very very similar name to my daughter. My daughter is delighted and takes it as a compliment. Doesn’t bother me in the slightest and they have different surnames anyway.

I have read your post and come back to it. I feel the horrible response from you and also your mum (she now has to say two almost identical names) is just nasty. I feel sorry for your brother and SIL. It’s not a big deal, you are making a big deal. Having a new precious niece and grandchild should be what matters.

Personally, I wouldn't do it, however I don't think it's all that unusual for certain names (the same, or similar), to be really popular amongst people of a particular generation.
It's no bigger deal than having a father and son named the same.

I don't see a problem, but that is probably because when researching family history for people I often found families would do names that were similar and the exact same for cousins

Think Elizabeth and a sister Eliza or Thomas and Tommy, Michael and Mikey and cousins Samuel and Samuel weren't uncommon

I had a friend who had granddaughters in the earlier 2000 and they were both called Ruby

It's weird and annoying. There's thousands of names out there.

This 💯

Our family has a tradition of naming after, so there are lots of John's for example. Big, little, jnr etc. I like it. Always seen it as a compliment, a sign of familial bonds. On the other hand a woman I know never talked to her in-laws ever again as they called their DD the same name as hers. That's crazy in my view. I don't understand people like that at all.

Really? Seems pretty blooming obvious

how so? How will this in any way affect OP or her DD’s life?

It used to be the norm for names to run in families- and cousins having the same name not at all unusual. This idea that everyone has to have a unique name is a curiously contemporary , western idea. Not sure what the rational basis is? I suppose it’s linked to the culture of individualism/ narcissism?

Im talking close naming, think Grace/Gracie, Sophia/sophie, Rose/Rosie, Isabel/Isabella, Ella/Ellie….

I think it’s annoying because the names will likely get contracted into the same nick name e.g. Soph, Elle, Izzy.

No one owns a name but I can see why it’s annoying.

Were they annoyed you got pregnant first?

My DH has 80 odd cousins (an underestimate if anything). There's a lot of repetition. It really doesn't matter.

I'm really surprised that so many people are saying you're over-reacting and that there's nothing wrong with this. I'd be quite pissed off in your shoes.
But at least people will know that they are the weird ones as you picked the name first as your dd is older.

I’d take it as flattering!

seriously people have same or similar names popping up in their lives all the time

exh had same first name as father, gf, ggf etc …except it’s seen as family transition…bloody confusing but what the heck …and I broke that tradition 😱🤣

in my family tree they’re are loads of Sarah’s giving birth to Sarah’s. And Williams calling son John, who calls his son William for bloody centuries.

my bff has same name as me. We’ve known each other for 50 years. it was and is still a fairly unusual name. At school togther. Actually, surprising how little we were confused by use of name and who it was referring to despite being in same classes all the way to A levels.

brother has same name as his son in law. One chooses a more diminutive version with immediate family on my brothers side.

dil and niece share same name. That’s confusing as they’re both similar name, similar profession so when talking to others outside of immediate families they can ask “which xxx are you talking about “

I have two friends with same name . Again sometimes a little confusing, but not problematic…

whilst they’re young they may well be in same place and time to you all, and therefore could cause some momentary confusion…but you are saying they’re not even completely identical ..so people will know which child they’re talking about. But as these cousins grow older and leave home their lives will diverge most likely, and they’ll be meeting partners with same name as your husband, cousin, sons anyway! 🤣

be flattered you’ve. chosen a name that’s liked in all its variations. Make sure your daughter knows that too.

So you thought, genuinely, that i was claiming that there are millions of children in each classroom?

And fwiw I wouldn't give a fuck about you mincing your words or not, we don't live to appease you. I'll call my child what I like and if you don't like you, you can avoid the family events, not me, and if you wanted to show yourself up, you'd be welcome to because I expect you'd be the one ostracised.

We have two sets of the same names in our family but it’s from my side of the family and Dh’s side of the family so he and I are the only link. We constantly have issues with needing to clarify which person we are referencing. We have 2 nieces the same exact age with the same name born within a few weeks of one another. We have another pairing that aren’t as close in demographics, but it still cause issues in conversation. We often have to interrupt the speaker and ask which person they are referencing.

Interesting thread.

I can't comment on related kids sharing names, but in my later years I had a boyfriend with the same name as my brother. (Weird in a different way.) We just called them Fred 1 and Fred 2 when we needed to disambiguate. Worked for us. 😀

Even my daughter is a bit confused “why does the baby have almost the same name as me
Right…

I couldn’t find it in me to care too much about this, if anything I’d be flattered.

For me it would be different if I was pregnant and shared the name I wanted to call my child, and then that person had a baby before me, and used the name for their child. Then I’d be a bit irritated as if I went with it, it’d look like I had copied. But your daughter is already 7, you clearly had it first, I just don’t see why it matters.

I have a friend called Eva and she was miffed when one of her friends had a baby and called it Evie, as she felt it was weird and too similar to her name. I really didn’t get why she cared so much that her mates babies name sounded like hers.

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery

She’s 7, I can imagine a 7yo saying that. My niece would have said it at a younger age.

@CheesePlantBoxes If you don't give a fuck about my opinion, why are you asking?

I see you married into royalty.

Thinking about it a bit, I believe it might be that people feel they are being slighted - your friend called Eva for example, wanted to think that her friend, whenever she heard the name, thought of her - giving it to her daughter indicates that the mother really doesn't have any previous associations with the name Eve/Evie that would make it unusable, and that annoys Eva a bit as it implies she's not as important to the friend as she might have thought.

Similalrly with cousins. There's possibly an element of "When they hear the name Tarquin, surely they immediately think of my little Tarquin" and realising that no, they don't think about you or your little Tarquin nearly as much as you thought they did, annoys some people.

YABU…

1. For blaming SIL. Why didn’t you name the thread “brother used similar baby name”
2. They are 2 different names, end of. They might sound similar but they’re not the same name. Leo and Theo aren’t the same name, Ella and Ellie aren’t, Gracie and Grace arent
3. Your DD is 7 years older than her cousin, they won’t even be in school at the same time (if you live close). It’s not like brother and SIL popped a baby out 2 weeks after you with a similar name.
4. Your whole family sound like overractors if that’s a word. Even your own DD is asking why the baby has a similar name, rubbing off on her too. Why is your mum being funny about the name, is she incapable of remembering the difference between a 7 year old and a newborn?

I might of been on your side if the name was the exact same and they were 3 months apart but come on, 7 years and a different name… move on