Sister in law using same baby name

[Funinthesun20]

My sil has just given birth to my beautiful niece she and my brother have practically named the baby the same as my daughter 7.

Im talking close naming, think Grace/Gracie, Sophia/sophie, Rose/Rosie, Isabel/Isabella, Ella/Ellie….

Now, I know no-one has a right to a name and I know I don’t, that’s not what I’m saying, and I’m not even mad, just really confused! Surly when they were looking at names, they thought that one’s just like our nieces, not that one then? Like my husbands nephew is Theo and we liked Leo, but we thought that’s too close so moved on to other names.

Mine and my family’s reaction probably should have been better. But I was in complete shock when they told her name. I wasn’t rude, but my face said it all!

But the way they (sil and brother) are now acting as if they don’t have a clue why anyone would comment/react. As a lot of people are, as in family friends, wider family, even my work colleagues. Even my daughter is a bit confused “why does the baby have almost the same name as me?”
My mum is now laughing about having to list her grandchildren and say two with practically identical names!

I don’t know the point to this post I’m just…. Venting.

It really depends on what the names are. I don't see Leo and Theo and Cleo as being variations of the same name - ditto Louise/Lois, Alexa/Alexandra, Clara/Zara/Tara etc etc. Sophie/Sophia would be pushing it more, as would Grace/Gracie - and yeah that would be a bit annoying but there's quite a big age gap and it's unlikely they'll ever get mixed up. Now I'm just really curious about what the actual names are though!

No, I would be heavy handed as fuck and tell people to use the name I've given them, because its their name. Millions of people have the same name, even in classrooms, its not impossible to have two Jeffs.

I have a daughter named Tiegan my younger sister named her daughter Teagan my older sister has a son named Levi our younger sister also named one of her sons Levi 🙄 l mean she ended up with 7 kids in the end so I’m sure she was struggling to find names 😂😂 we just find it funny she even tried to blame it on the kids dad for naming them !

My sister and my step sister have the exact same name. We all grew up together and it was fine, it didn't get confusing or anything. It ended up being a funny family quirk.

I think you’ve just got to get over it. As they grow up they’ll get nicknames. I’ve got 2 nephews called Caleb. (My brother’s son and husband’s sister’s son). They’ve never met and are unlikely to. We work it out.

You’re unreasonable at putting SIL in your title. It’s as much your brother’s choice!

I totally get where you’re coming from, my BIL did the same thing! I found it weird too. BIL said it didn’t occur to him until a while after - we’re not hugely close to them so I’ve gotten over it but imagine it would be weird for the kids if they’re all together frequently.

I agree with this: it really depends on the exact name and how close it is. Eg Jim and James I would consider different names (unless the James was called Jim as a Nn).

Is it Tilly and Matilda!? 🙂

In reality, many, many children can end up going right through school with someone of the same name ( or even several) in their class and they actually spend far more time with those children than their cousins.

In any case, I don’t think you can get them to change it so you have to find a way if coming to peace with it.

My niece has a similar name to my daughter, but it's never been an issue.

Because the whole point of a name is to mark your unique identity within your family (where duplicates can easily be avoided) and your wider social/community circle in life as it expands (where duplicates are very likely and can't possibly be avoided).

Taking it to extremes, we could do away with names altogether and just call every child 'Girl' or 'Boy' - or just 'Child' for all of them. But if we did do that, somebody would come up with the idea of giving babies individual names to make things much less confusing, then the circle could start all over again!

I have two nephews with the same name. My sisters both liked it an used it. It doesn't feel weird or strange, definitely not something to worked up over.

You're obviously not Irish. I know a family where all of the children called the first born son after the grandfather, so there was a plethora of James, Jamies, Jims and Jimmys and it was almost impossible to distinguish between them in conversation. Each person was an individual though, and their identical names didn't matter much.

Sorry this is ridiculous. Up until about the 1960s most families had pleny of cousins, uncles etc. with the same name because they were named after aunts, grandparents, mothers etc. Family names were normal and they still are in many families.

It isn't at all strange.

I considered naming my daughter after one of my aunts and the only reason I didn't is because I thought one of my other aunts might be hurt that she wasn't chosen. I didn't like her name as much though.

It is absolutely normal to have the same names in the same family. I find it completely bizarre that people are annoyed by it. If anything it's a compliment to name your baby after someone else. But most of the time it's just that people like the name, it's not a big deal.

One of my kids has a name shared by, his dad, his uncle on my side, his great uncle on dads side, a grandfather, a cousin and going back to greats and great greats on both sides..his father and mine. Also with in laws, 3 of.
The dog shares a name with my nephew and my husbands uncle. Another of my sons shares a name with a cousin and a couple of uncles and great uncles. No big deal.

It’s not that uncommon to have first cousins with the same name…

My mum has two cousins called Steve, THREE called John, two Carolines and two Catherines who are all first cousins to each other, too. My Grandmother even has the same name as her SISTER (think Joanne and Josephine, but both shortened to Jo).

So I wouldn’t have seen it as an issue…

Like my husbands nephew is Theo and we liked Leo, but we thought that’s too close so moved on to other names.

But that's how you felt & obviously they don't!

You've put that the name is "practically" the same.

Maybe they would have liked the same name & thought that they had changed it enough?

@CheesePlantBoxes , millions of people do not have the same name in classrooms.

There are all sorts of reasons for picking a name for your child.

My SILs csme to literal blows and years of acrimony. Pg at almost the same time, it was clear what one of them would be called, if a boy - same as all first born sons in that family going back at least 150 years. The other one was born first and given that name. 2nd one was born and given 5hat name. 1st sister went batshit - even though the rest of us agreed that a) you don't own a name and b) if anyone "should" have flipped out that #2 had the better reason

I dislike them both so it was hugely entertaining.

Not really sure why people are going on about OP being upset, bothered "what difference does it make to you" comments as she has not said she is! Just that it's odd the couple haven't realised why others are finding this odd.

I have to say I’m also baffled.

The exact same name? Yes. It would be really weird.
A similar but different name like Rose/Rosie? Leo/Theo? The only thing I’d be wondering is their names would be mixed up often. And even then….. it simply wouldn’t have crossed my mind.
A name/nickname like Margaret/Maggie, I think is more contentious. But then William/Liam wouldn’t have registered because Liam is now a name in its own right…..
🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Didn’t you understand that I meant that milliins of people have the same name and that classrooms have kids with the same name or did you literally think I meant there are classrooms with millions of people? Or were you being clever and picking apart my grammar to undermine, rather than engage with, my point?

Get your daughter to keep saying to her uncle how weird it is that her new cousin has copied her name 😂

Wasn't this quite common once upon a time, to have family names and cousins with similar or the same name? What impact do you think it will have? If the name isn't the same then the children will be easily differentiated. The Theo/Leo thing is really odd, they are completely different names.

But how did they mark their individuality, though - e.g. when addressing them or talking about them? Did each one strictly only ever use a different understood variation of James?

That reminds me of a thread on here from way back where somebody knew a family where 5 or 6 brothers were all given the same confirmation name - and that name was Mary!

It really depends on the name for me and the popularity.

Leo and Theo wouldn't bother me at all because they just rhyme.
Ella and Ellie are similar but not too close to me and both super popular.

If the names are more unusual, I think it sticks out more.