Is it cheap not to cater?

[Itrtttyy]

it’s a significant birthday and a function room is being hired out 4-6pm for around 40 guests then afterwards carrying on in nearby (nice) pubs. The function room place serves food as do a few nearby pubs.

Does the event need catered (a buffet)?

Yes - YABU
No - YANBU

I didn’t say she’d sent out invitations. I said she’d said no food was on the invitation. The invitation was sent on WhatsApp.

Where we are, you wouldn’t struggle for tables at 6. You’d probably always get a seat until they stopped serving food at 8 or 9 but not 40 together.

This in a nutshell.

Yes.

But it started at 20:00. People had plenty of time to eat beforehand, even thosefor whom it was a journey . I think is the main difference. Some of my friends live/d an hr to a couple of hours away and were welcome to stay over. Those who didn't live further afield of course could eat then turn up and then come for drinks everyone welcome to come and drink/eat with me once the pub/act was done.

A few people who came from further afield and staying over were offered food before we went out but all had eaten already anyway, I offered to pay for takeaway before going out too but no takers, we all just had a couple of champagnes!

Were it at 16:00 however.. If for some reason I'd have wanted that I'd have definitely put on food. I'm not particularly well-off but people drinking tend to just want some carbs and sustenance, so I'd have hired someone to cater or if I couldn't afford that I'd have made food myself.
And I'm the sort who doesn't ever eat much at such parties! But I know other people do, for social reasons as well as anything else.

I think it is quite different to a wedding where you're 'captive' all day and a guest who should absolutely be fed. Yes my friends were guests at my birthday but it was a night thing, not a day thing, I still made food for those who'd travelled/wanted to make it a longer night anyway, and for 90% of my guests it was a case of a 5 minute walk to the pub or at most a 5-10 minute taxi ride and then home or back for drinks and food if they wanted.

To be fair, all people are doing is telling you that it sounds absolutely shit.
The guests will doubtless be so underwhelmed they’ll leave early (in search of food / atmosphere) and she’s almost certain to be disappointed.
Why are you so certain this isn’t so?

And two hours is not enough time for forty odd people (who might not have seen each other for a while) to meet up socialise etc. Will they all want to troop round various pubs, where there won’t be space to sit or even stand comfortably with that number,, where unless the pubs are very close people will have to find their way, find something to eat etc.

I bet if you asked most people would rather stay in one place, have food, something to drink , listen to some music and have a good catch up.

Pub crawls are for students, so unless the significant birthday is a 21 st , tell the provider to organise a decent venue, music, sufficient chairs and food.

I just really don’t understand when people are supposed to eat on a pub crawl? Yes there might be food available but who realistically is going to be ordering and eating a meal 4-6pm? And then when are you going to eat if you don’t do that?

I agree with this, what is the actual reasoning behind this 4-6 thing because I don't get it at sll

It's not the night though. It's 4pm, it's the afternoon.

Are you expecting people to start drinking at 4pm, with no food, and then carry on all evening? That's going to be a total disaster. Either everyone will leave to eat or everyone will get messy drunk

Sounds like it’ll all be over by 8pm. Ever tried to move 40 people en masse, go to the loo, walk to next pub and then surprise the bar staff and try to serve people quickly. Shambolic at best, can you get her to think it through?

I don’t either. Not sure many do.

depends what you tell people when you do the invite

although with times 4-6 - sone food would be a “thing” or it could all be boring

Wetherspoons will definitely be one of the pub crawl pubs. There’s no reason you can’t order food until whenever they stop serving (8/9ish) at the pubs. Not sure why you think you’d spend all night waiting to get served. You just go to the bar and order like you would if you were staying at the same pub all night.

The whole evening needs a complete rethink.

4-6pm is a KS2 children's party slot where there is food and entertainment not the precursor to a 40th pub crawl.

And yes, it's cheap not to cater.

Because I'd like to be sure that I got a table and prefer to choose where I eat and what the standard of catering is. I've never been out for a curry as a meal.

Which would be a lovely thing for you to do as an invited friend or family member to a 40th celebration. Stay out, but go somewhere else and try and commandeer the guests.

Makes me pleased by friend’s main fault is just being too cheap to put on a sausage roll.

But it’s her cheapness that will encourage her guests to act like this!
What aren’t you getting??

Why wouldn’t you just not come?

I think there will be 40 people or near enough at the function room at 4pm. She is well loved and the 40 are her closest friends and family. They will be there.

But if they’re like me they’ll be raising an eye that she can’t put a buffet on so we can line our stomachs a bit.

I think it’s quite optimistic to assume all 40 guests will be there at 4pm.

I wouldn’t go either. I’d eat my tea and then pop by later on.

Can't some of you club together to put on a bit of a spread?

I don’t know. If it was me I’d have arranged a big lunch somewhere at 2pm or so all together and then just gone on the drink reserving tables in the first couple of pubs. Which wouldn’t be me spending any more money which is what led to be posting. I don’t think that plan is unreasonable. I do think booking a room and telling people to order their own food is unreasonable and it’s insanely cheap not to do a buffet. I don’t really see why there’s a difference because in both scenarios people pay for themselves, but there is.

Make it earlier and put on some trays of sandwiches and fizz and make it a boozy lunch instead is what I’d do if I wanted to save money.

Because they’re opinions which are completely irrelevant to my question about whether there should be a buffet put on between 4-6pm.

Then what will happen if you think that the majority are going to come to this bit is that they will then drift off afterwards and go their separate ways. A few will come to the next venue but you aren’t going to get everyone who has gathered in a function room to then join a pub crawl if they’ve already bought their own drinks and no food.

It’s odd timing as well. 6.30pm meet up ok but 4pm is not really the timeframe for a precursor for a pub crawl as someone else has said.