Is it cheap not to cater?

[Itrtttyy]

it’s a significant birthday and a function room is being hired out 4-6pm for around 40 guests then afterwards carrying on in nearby (nice) pubs. The function room place serves food as do a few nearby pubs.

Does the event need catered (a buffet)?

Yes - YABU
No - YANBU

But your own booze, buy your own curry…
What incentive is there to gather at this joyless function room?

This is a really odd way to organise a birthday get together. You either book a function room and cater in some way or you meet at a pub having drinks and perhaps go to another on your pub crawl.

But there’s absolutely no reason to book a function room to ask your guests to pay for their drinks or potentially order food that they pay for. Just do that downstairs in the main pub area. It takes away the pub atmosphere and is going to be pretty dismal if the majority turn up later for the pub crawl element. It’s also an odd time to do it.

As indicated earlier, it sounds chaotic. A shared meal should be everyone eating together - not a few at a time.

OP, your defence of this nonsense really does suggest it's you, not a "friend".

What’s that got to do with going to a curry house at 6?

Exactly. None whatsoever with no atmosphere. Most people will swerve this and join for a drink later. It’s going to put a big dampener on the birthday celebrations as it’s just going to be tedious for those early arrivals who will want to bail out earlier than they would otherwise if joining later.

Because people like to choose where they eat. Be Guaranteed a table to eat in comfort food they enjoy.

I'd. Drop in on the birthday boy/girl give my best wishes and slip off for a meal, possibly with others I knew were invited all of which I'd book in advance.

If you are actually the organiser as you seem very defensive about the arrangements, perhaps have a rethink?

@Itrtttyy " She’ll be being tight. Almost certain of it."

In which case I think that's a shame. But her birthday so she gets to choose.

Edit spelling

You can believe it’s me if you want. I really don’t care.

But the lack of reading comprehension and the insistence on making things up is very frustrating. She isn’t inviting people for a meal. No one is under any impression she is. A party buffet isn’t a shared meal where everyone sits down together. People get up and help themselves for as long as it’s out, if they want to.

Okay. I think having a forty birthday function room meet up between 4-6 pm is rubbish. It’s just meeting in a pub with maybe banner and balloon why bother.
If I was invited I would want a fizzy drink and at least crisps and nibbles and maybe a slice of cake.
My local town centre that people go to for pub crawls, depending on time you definitely wouldn’t get a seat to eat any food.(after 6pm).
So people are going to have food if want in the different pubs. She definitely only really wants the select few to finish the pub crawl.
I can’t believe she sent invites out. Surely a quick text would have done.

@DenholmElliot11

“Alcohol should never be served without food.”

says who?

I wouldn't bother with the function room or decorating it.
Unless most of her friends arrive at 4pm, she could be spending part of the 2 hours sitting in her decorated function room, with just a few people.
More likely most people won't arrive until after 430pm,/ 5pm if.they are planning on staying out all evening.
Also she is going to have to take down her decorations before 6pm, to have it ready for the next people who have booked the room.
Your friend should definitely provide food / nibs if she is using the function room

There absolutely should be a buffet. Otherwise she should just be doing a pub crawl starting much later. I’d think she was extremely cheap to not bother feeding her invited guests.

Eh? Of course people can choose where they eat, every night of their life. If they accept an invitation to a celebration where they’re told they can order pub food, why would they go out of their way to decide that’s the night they need a sit down curry?

The lack of buffet is stupid and cheap, but if you have to buy food and you’ve accepted the invitation knowing that, why would you be a complete dickhead and decide you must eat somewhere other than where the woman who’s birthday you’ve come out to celebrate is?

Book a function room and have some basic catering.
Or do a pub crawl later starting at 7.30pm

@Itrtttyy - I don't think it's your party. Given the general consensus is "It's a bit shit" I think you'd have run for the hills long ago 😂

Which normal meal do you have between 4 and 6pm?

I thought she was leaving at 6pm for pub crawl. You would need to order by at least 5 pm for a chance to eat it before the birthday woman left to go to first pub!
Not that I care, I wouldn’t go on a pub crawl if you paid me. Spend all night trying to get served. At least Wetherspoons have the App.

It’s just a really strange concept.

Either hire a function room and have a party (with food!) or arrange a much smaller pub crawl.

This is half arsed - some people will want to eat at the function room bit and have to catch up on the pub crawl. Those who finish their drinks first will probably move on and the rest will have to catch up in dribs and drabs, and some will go off to eat. What’s the point? All of her friends will be at different places!

But you said yourself it is expected that some people will only call in to the function room part.

I think that’s what most people will do.

I know I would, I’d call in at about 5pm for a few drinks, and then go on to a restaurant or curry house - I’d see beforehand if anyone else wanted to come along too and I’d pre-book it so we are guaranteed a table.

Fuck me. How many times.

I’m not the organiser.

I think the lack of any buffet is cheap and tight.

I also think there’s no need for posters having a pop at her based on no knowledge whatsoever: that she’s greedy and wants presents/can’t get 40 people into a pub/is inflicting a food ban in her presence which will force the guests to specifically seek out somewhere different to eat to where the birthday girl is/that food will be banned in the function room/that she should be covering the bar bill/that it’s heinous to expect people to talk for two hours without entertainment/that she’s going to abandon guests just as they’ve ordered food/that she wants to discourage guests from going on the pub crawl/that she’ll expect her drinks to be paid for etc etc etc.

It’s getting overexcited and inventing slights and scenarios which don’t exist.

Because it’s infinitely more enjoyable than this “party”. I wouldn’t be wasting a night out on this farce, so I’d probably turn up for the weird function room bit, seeing as that’s the only time people will probably all be together, then go off for a nice dinner.

It sounds completely joyless, not a celebration. No gifts, no food or drink provided for what could be about 8 hours. I have an image of a cold function room with half a dozen people in it just looking at each other and wondering what to do. I really think most people will choose to eat at home at 6 ish and go to the pub later. I would try and talk your friend round or her birthday could be a huge disappointment

@Itrtttyy why is she having the 4-6pm "party"? Why not just reserve a couple of tables in the pub from 7pm? I don't get it.

I don’t actually understand why you’ve put a post up about this. You’re very defensive about it all on the one hand and on the other you think it’s all a bit cheap.

You don’t like hearing people commenting that it’s odd timing and not really how to plan a birthday celebration. Why post if you don’t like the answers?