Is it cheap not to cater?

[Itrtttyy]

it’s a significant birthday and a function room is being hired out 4-6pm for around 40 guests then afterwards carrying on in nearby (nice) pubs. The function room place serves food as do a few nearby pubs.

Does the event need catered (a buffet)?

Yes - YABU
No - YANBU

Because if everyone turns up at different times/no one takes charge of starting a good order people will wait for someone else to order first. Then it's getting later in the 2 hour slot and you risk everyone else leaving to go to pub crawl before you've finished eating. Then at each pub you won't stay for long as it's a pub crawl so again the risk of being separated from the group if you order food. Why do that when you can show your face, wish her happy birthday then go get dinner either eating out somewhere else or going home for dinner? Or when you can have dinner at home then meet up for the pub crawl?

The problem is that in booking a function room for drinking and mingling is that the expectation is that there’s normally catering and a free bar. Or at least catering. It’s just the way it is. Most people don’t book a function room and invite guests without some form of food at least.

Literally everyone on this thread thinks it’s strange.

No but shouldn't be disappointed if they can't manage the hired room time because the children need to be fed, pyjamas and ready for bed. And the babysitter needs a lift home. There's only so much cola you can drink. 🤣

Ugh it's just too big a headache.

If I’d said my friend was having a 40th celebration and had booked afternoon tea and complimentary champagne in a private room at the Ritz from 4-6pm because she wasn’t much of a party girl, I wouldn’t be told it was a kids’ party time. I dare say people would say it sounds nice.

People can celebrate whenever they want, whatever, but put sandwiches and pickled onions on.

Yes but food takes a while to arrive and to get eaten. It’s a pub crawl. Surely you’ll get left behind?!

And how awkward to all be eating at different times.

Yes but afternoon tea is just that. A drinks part is normally 6pm until 8pm. This timing is just odd especially given that it’s presumed to have a pub crawl afterwards. I would expect a later start time.

I've done a fortieth meal for a big group at a hotel. Guests pre ordered the menu choices. Paid for their own meal. Hosts paid for all the drinks. After eating people opted to stay at the hotel for the rest of the evening rather than pub crawl in town.

I think she wants to make the most of it. I don’t have any problem with afternoon drinks which go on long into the night. I do have a problem with the lack of buffet.

That's because:
a. 4-6pm is afternoon tea time.
b. 4-6pm is not a usual time to kick off a pub crawl.
c. there's actual food and drink provided in this example.

OP I’m not sure your idea of a pub crawl is quite right. It’s usually alcohol not food being consumed.

It wouldn’t - she’d think it would be passive aggressive and suggesting she was cheap to not have done it. Which to be fair, it would be.

If you wouldn’t eat at Wetherspoons you wouldn’t make the guest list anyway.

We’ll get a table easily at 6pm. We won’t get 40 seats next to each other, but some will sit, some stand, as other people leave people will jump on their tables. I wouldn’t fancy organising it but it’s fine. Worst that’ll happen is groups will separate as the night goes on.

And of the 40, there are grandparents, pregnant women, aunts and uncles who won’t come out afterwards or not for long. We’ll likely go downstairs for another hour, a huge, old bar for another hour, and by the time we’re past food serving times and onto really busy bars the numbers will be well depleted.

No one could accuse me of being a tight host. I’m confident of that.

Can I ask what you actually want to achieve from this thread given you’ve stated you aren’t actually the birthday girl or organiser?

It is rather confusing as you are extremely defensive of the arrangements, yet I recognise you do think some form of buffet would be more appropriate for the function room bit.

It’s just virtually everyone responding on here thinks it’s odd timing and or catering needs to be provided, but you are challenging every negative post so it’s difficult to see what you want from posting this.

It’s a pub crawl. It’s not speed drinking. We’ve got all night, there is no rush. People can order food whenever they want.

Even disregarding the absolute nonsense that a 4-6pm event with no food and upstairs in a pub (classy) would be.
Do 40 yr olds really go traipsing round on a pub crawl from 6pm of an evening trying to find a place where everyone can squeeze into, surely the party would end at first bar where maybe 10 or 12 would get in then the rest would be left on the pavement?
if by a miracle you find somewhere a night out drinking is extremely expensive these days and even shit burger and chips in a pub isn’t cheap either so all that money to shout at each other over loud music in some dive that is the only place with enough room for everyone, what a treat that would be.
Great fun for a bunch of uni students careering round the town, cause you’re bound to meet up with other friends if you get separated from the “party” but actual grown up 40 yr olds who probably had to organise childcare for this big celebration!
Quite frankly I’d be making an excuse that I was washing my hair even if I was as bald as a coot.

Yes, and I’ve literally many times that I do too. That’s why I started the thread…

I don’t think she’d be disappointed but I also don’t think there’s going to be anyone there drinking cola because the babysitter needs a lift home.

I didn’t ask if people thought it was unreasonable to start drinking leading to a pub crawl at 4pm.

It was, as you’ve identified in your third bullet point, whether food should be provided.

I know what a pub crawl is. You’re not usually shot on the spot for ordering a panini with your pint.

This just gets weirder!
You say there will be pregnant people there, there’s bound to be people with babysitters if it really is a 40th.

Have a lovely birthday whatever.

Ok any pub crawl I've been to has had an element of speed drinking. Maybe 30mins per drink max 2 drinks per pub so no more than an hour in each place to get food. Also everyone's getting drunk so disorganised about ordering food as soon as they get there. If I tried this we'd end up leaving people behind eating then they wouldn't find the group again that night or they'd leave when they got hungry. If you're sticking around each pub for longer it might work but if it's been called a pub crawl people may not realise that and so plan to leave for food

I don’t know how else to explain the same point to you. Unsure why you keep commenting on a thread you’re struggling to understand. But to give you the benefit of the doubt…

I want to know if people think it’s reasonable not to serve a buffet when you’re booking out a function from 4-6pm and inviting people to join you at it.

The majority seems to think it is unreasonable, which validates my reaction. That’s great, thank you Mumsnet.

I am not arsed whether people couldn’t come because they like to put their kids to bed, whether they like to choose which restaurants they eat in, whether they can’t hack a pub crawl starting at 4pm, whether they’d struggle to find a table at their local town centre, whether they feel awkward eating a pie if no one else is ordering, or whatever other entirely pointless information has been shared.

I didn’t say there wouldn’t be people with babysitters. I said none would be drinking coke so they could get home and give the babysitter a lift home.

Other than the pregnant women and the elderly who won’t stay for long, no one is going to be sober.