To think SIL was totally out of order

[Candlecharge01]

DH side of the family had a get together yesterday. DH had a work commitment so I took DSD 9 and DD 2.

We arrived at 2pm had some lunch and all the e cousins played together. By 6pm it was getting a bit rowdy as some of the adults had been drinking all afternoon. I made my excuses to leave and told the kids to gather up all their things and start saying goodbyes.

SIL asks if DSD can stay over as she has a DD similar age and wanted them to keep playing together. I said ah not this time as we are going swimming early in the morning and will be too much hassle coming to pick her up first. This was true but also DSD looked really tired and it was turning into a more adult party really and I thought it best she just come home with me. Plus DH was due home about 7ish and of course wanted to see the kids.

SIL says well it's not really up to you, I'll ring my brother and ask him. I said she's in my care at the moment and it is up to me. She tried ringing DH but no answer.

She then said I'll ring her Mum and if she says it's ok then you can just leave her here with her family.

At this point I was fuming but didn't want a scene so just politely said well it's her weekend with us and we're off. I packed the kids in the car and left.

Later DSD mum rings confused about where DSD was as SIL had rang her and asked could DSD stay! Now DSD Mum apparently told her it was up to us as she isn't due back to her until Monday.

AIBU to say this is totally overstepping?!

Good thinking, excellent logic.

‘Plastered Petunia’ 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 brilliant!

Thank you 😊

Family or not, that relationship would be over.

While your DH is having a chat with his sis I think he should ask her to apologise to you. You need an assurance that she will never speak to you like that again. You can’t go to his family get togethers and be worried that she may talk to you in that manner again.

Not at all. When the child is in the care of one step parent then they are the responsibility of that step parent. In loco parentis and all that.

I read it, and you made it much clearer and put it very well.

I also think SIL was itching for a confrontation, to show OP who SIL thinks the boss should be. She thought the OP would give in when she used the "it's not really up to you" phrase. Very happy that OP didn't fold.

Now the image of a drunk, off-balanced Peppa Pig is running through my head.

Thanks! 😆😲😉

This is the sort of situation where something unfortunate could happen as there isn't adequate (sober) supervision. Comments above are quite right with regard to respecting that SM was in charge of the child, however I wouldn't consider leaving a child with adults who had been drinking a fair bit unless there was at least one sober adult who could be trusted to supervise.