Family not making an effort

[MomofAA]

My partners family made the effort to want to see our baby when we first brought him home. Wanting pictures and cuddles.
Now he’s 10 weeks old, no one has messaged to ask how he is or if they can see him/us.
They are posting on social media with other family members, days out etc.
Feel as if the novelty of a newborn in the family has wore off.

AIBU for wanting to stop being available for them when they do finally get in touch?

How often do you usually see them or hear from them?

Maybe they’re waiting to be invited?

Have you messaged them?

mn usually wants in laws to stay away until the dc is about 6 months and no other family member is supposed to want to hold your newborn so maybe they are trying to give you space.

Oh grow up op
you’re a parent now
you have a newborn
quit navel gazing about how you will “show ‘em” if and when they do contact you

Maybe they're letting you have some space to get used to having a baby? Invite them over, if you want to see them.

Heck no, be pleased they're giving you space!

How often would you normally see them?

I mean 10 week old babies are not very interesting so most visitors are only doing it for a nice cuddle and then to pop off. Probably also don’t want to intrude.

Have you invited them around or even done the it would be lovely to catch up soon.

Exactly this.

My daughter is 11 months old now & this was something my husband had to come to terms with. He doesn’t have a close relationship with his parents, they’ve never been the “popping around” or “lets go out” type, they’re a Christmas/birthday/occasional text people- always have been. They came to meet our daughter and then disappeared for months and my husband struggled with that but we spoke about it and he realised actually this has ALWAYS been the status quo. We’re the ones who had changed our expectations, they were never very present people, a baby didn’t change that and wouldn’t.

If you want to see them then invite them round. Isn't that the usual protocol when arranging social engagement. It might also come as a shock to you but other people's small children aren't usually overly fascinating. They could simply feel neutral about the fact you chose to have a child.

Just to add - they’re type of people that say ‘well you never make the effort’. We put in the effort but stopped as it wasn’t being reciprocated.

Wow some of you are just rude!!

Isn’t that cutting your nose off to spite your face? You’re annoyed they haven’t been in touch but when they DO get in touch you intend to snub them.

You only have to read the threads on Mumsnet to realise that the newborn days are tricky, for both the Mum and families to navigate. They are probably just leaving you to it for a bit. My DH said he was going to ‘pop in’ to see his friend who has a month old baby, he has never met his partner as they live miles away but DH happened to be in the area, I said you can’t just pop in, she might be in the whole bleeding nipples, sore fanny, mentally and physically exhausted phase, you need to work around them, not burst in and say surprise!

I think you need to lead the situation, send a message saying ‘Hey, we’re free this weekend and little Jimmy is sleeping a bit better these last few nights so I’m starting to feel human again if any of you would like to pop around for coffee and cake. 11am Saturday or Sunday would work. I feel I haven’t seen anyone in ages so it would be nice to see you! Xx

Already it’s becoming clear from the OP’s follow up posts why family might not befalling over themselves to visit

They’re the kind of people that preach effort is reciprocated but our messages and calls would go unanswered. Didn’t hear from them during the pregnancy. We had them arguing with us as we wanted to attend a family gathering with them and we made it clear we wouldn’t want him passed round like a parcel and we were told we were being controlling

Nothing at all “bit of an ass” about that post op

goodness you’re thin skinned

Sorry, I didn't mean to be rude. It's just some people seem to think their children are fascinating to others when sadly they're not.

The usual MN line is to wait to be invited and give "the little family" space. My guess is they're worried about overstepping or being rebuffed.

Your comments are coming across as if you know me?
it was a generic message, I didn’t see the part where I asked for you to but in and be personal on the matter

And if you don't like them why do you care? That's strange.

So did you go to that event? I take it that event was after they had met baby first.

If so highly likely they have taken the same stance as you. They where all interested you set out your stool and they decided well if they don’t want to come if anyone wants a cuddle F em we won’t bother with them.

Much like you now they cnba so F em we won’t bother.

You fucking show em girl!🤔

Thank you ❤️