Help! Mothering Sunday and MIL wants to come over, but DH has outing planned with me!

[Yippetyjap]

Argh! How do I navigate this? My husband and son had planned to cook me a nice dinner and go on an outing for Mothering Sunday with me and our DS this year. Just had a text from MIL saying how about she came over to ours and we do a "shared buffet" for Mothering Sunday? I was really looking forward to go away for the day but don't want to be a monster and tell MIL not to come... What do I do???

AIBU- have her over
YANBU- suggest different day

That's lovely to hear. Yes same here. She's a lovely woman and has raised DH fantastically well.

Yeah exactly these reasons! Doesn't always have to be all that dramatic as some other posters made it out to be 😅

Yay! Lucky you to have a lovely MIL, and lucky MIL to have such a lovely DIL.

Sometimes it feels like half of MN want their MILs to provide free childcare to a higher standard than their own parenting but woe betide if the MIL wants to see them at Christmas or Mother’s Day.

Barge. To intrude.

If ya know ya know.

Has she agreed to the Saturday at her her house, OP, sounded good to me.

If she felt it was so important she would have inited YOU over and given you a lot more notice!

Not sure what you mean/ or who you mean?

Please show me where I referred to “all MILs”. Because I didn’t. I referred very specifically to this MIL and husband.

My god, it's THAT simple, why the hand-wringing angst???

It's all good, you could read my updates, a good compromise has been found.

I picked yabu because this is not even a thing. You are busy. Just tell her you have plans. Her son can sort out seeing her on Saturday, a card, flowers or whatever.

My general rule is that if I have something in my diary and something else is offered, the first thing is prioritised unless the second thing is massively more important. Nobody has a monopoly on anyone elses time.

It’s your husbands mother tell him to tell her he’s arranged a day out with your son for you & no she cannot come …. It’s skydiving; mountaineering snowboarding paragliding etc

It’s your DH that needs to sort this out not you, he should be making sure his mum is covered. He’s made plans with you and he needs to talk to his mum.

That would be lovely mil but this year my children are taking me out for mother's day we were planning to come and see you on Saturday with your present

It is NOT sexism. The husband is her son that’s why nothing whatsoever to do with sexism. 🙄

EVERY thread.

You are contrary on every thread

Why?

So you think that MILs need legal protection from discrimination in the same way that people with disabilities do?

Why don't you lobby your MP to see if they can make being a MIL a protected characteristic? There could be designated seats on public transport reserved for MILs.

This OP doesn't even have a problem with her MIL and has already come up with a solution so your performative outrage is misplaced here.

The OP is not a mother of her husband though - I’d be very disappointed if my DH hadn’t considered his own DM before me when she was still alive. My DCs are perfectly capable of organising a treat for Mother’s Day for me.

I express my honest opinion. I truly believe that young criminals (daffs in private garden are private property) should not be 'treated with kindness', as it will only encourage bad behaviour - am I wrong to express my opinion?

I hold traditional views, many of MNers do not espouse traditional views, so no wonder my opinion runs cOntrary or as you say, contrAry. Makes perfect sense to me.

Her son - your DH - who she is mother too - needs to reply. What he tells her is up to him but if you’re happy for her to tag along that’s fine.

Well that's ok isn't it as surely your husband would be doing the tea and clearing up?? It's his mother!

Thanks all, as I said all is sorted so feel free to discuss on but I won't be returning to this thread. Thanks to all who have provided such constructive guidance - much appreciated and I hope everyone will be having a lovely mother's day 💐