Help! Mothering Sunday and MIL wants to come over, but DH has outing planned with me!

[Yippetyjap]

Argh! How do I navigate this? My husband and son had planned to cook me a nice dinner and go on an outing for Mothering Sunday with me and our DS this year. Just had a text from MIL saying how about she came over to ours and we do a "shared buffet" for Mothering Sunday? I was really looking forward to go away for the day but don't want to be a monster and tell MIL not to come... What do I do???

AIBU- have her over
YANBU- suggest different day

I think that's the best solution from your update.

Mother's Day can really be celebrated any day.
We have chosen a day that is meaningful to us personally, when places won't be manic with swarms of mums eating for free.

I think the sexism referred to her expectations that you will sort everything, hence speaking to you not her own son.

MN-ers bang on about ableism non-stop, I was wondering when at last there will be criticism on here towards such posts or there will be an ounce of decency towards MILs on the part of daughters-in-law?
Such posts are truly disgusting to read - and I am not even a MIL yet, but truly dread becoming one, in case I knowingly or unknowingly upset my future DIL.

Just pass it onto him, surely. 'Your mum sent me this. Deal with it, please.'

Sorry, we already have plans. Another day?

I don’t think that your MIL has fully realised that you are a mother and that the day is about you, too.

You don’t do anything, it’s your MIL, get her son, your DH to deal with it.

Why be aggressive and territorial like that?
OP didn't suggest her mother in law was being difficult.
Who would say my husband when referring to someone's son? It's either bonkers or nasty

Are you talking about the right post? My MIL is lovely and I'm looking for a solution as to not upset her. We get on very well. She's not upset me in any way? She's not very outdoorsy and that is the only reason I wouldn't take her on our outing, as she wouldn't enjoy it

To be fair to OP she hasn't said anything bad about her MiL it is other posters who are just assuming that MiL is difficult. She isn't OP has said she is a nice person and they have now arranged to see her another day.
I do wonder how some Mumsnet posters will behave when they are mothers in law!

You sound like a lovely daughter in law, I hope you have a wonderful day out.

This. No need for a drama. It’s normal interaction.

A monster?? Saying no thank you to someone doesn't make you a monster, OP!

While I don't think this is your issue to resolve, it's a bit disappointing that your DH didn't also consider his mum in advance before she had to prompt him.

Given your views that you most incessantly on here, I would be worried. I rarely notice usernames but always know what I'm getting when it's your post, not surprised by what I've read, when I see it is you.

"sorry MIL we already have plans, maybe speak to DH about when he plans to come and see you"

Why hadn't either of you considered her before this? It is pretty normal to see dms and mils either on or the run up to Mother's day. It sounds like it hadn't crossed either of your minds.

What are you on about?
Is being a MIL a disability now?

Her son asks...

Why don’t you suggest you go over to hers for a buffet the weekend after? She can host it. It always amazes me when people invite themselves, especially on special occasions when more work is required.

Glad it’s been resolved easily @Yippetyjap

Can she tag along?

im sure shes lovely but why ask you-hes her son

sounds both arsey and like you're a 1950s housewife

What a non event. Did this really warrant getting advice from multiple people? Have you never already had plans when someone suggests another thing?