To think that men who evade paying for their children are a burden on society?

[ASimpleLampoon]

Not my situation as not divorced but I'm fed up of hearing about thousands of men who don't pay child support or only pay the minimum, or fiddle their employment status/ declared income to pay less

They should pay at least half the actual costs of raising their children, more if they earn significantly more than the other parent

If they can't pay they should be supported to get a better job

If theyre self employed and can't pay enough well get a job that allows you to pay.

If they're getting paid in cash, take on more work to pay or find a job where they can't hide their income so they have to pay.

They are the real burden on society , fed up of seeing disabled people and carers torn apart while these feckless men get away with it year after year.

Where is the government and media campaign against them?

What a bell-end !!

I did report the 100k to CMS and asked for a variation (I think that’s what it’s called?) it was rejected immediately. i was told “the type of benefit they receive means we cannot review your payment calculations”.

I’m loathe to report him for benefit fraud because if they take away his benefits I will get even less than I do already. Or he will simply stop having them every other weekend because he’ll say he can’t afford it. Either way I’ll lose out financially.

He doesn’t have to pay £7 a week because he has them for 3 nights every other weekend. The £7 a week is only if the NRP doesn’t have them overnight at all.

but I got £50 from him last month towards after school club so I should be grateful 😂

I’ve not seen your previous messages so can’t see the context, but I’ll just say some people who know me have said ‘stop him from seeing them’ if he’s not paying. That is not a solution. If anything I always try and engage him and get him to do more with the kids, they needs him and love him, even though he is crap. That would impact the kids. As a mum we want to do all we can to support the kids. It’s a shame that these men don’t recognise though that they kids would benefit immensely not only if they were more engaged but also if they supported the mum so she is not so exhausted all the time!! My ex always tries to bring them back earlier than agreed at times putting my employment at risk. I’m like if you’re not providing a house or anything for them, at least respect that I NEED TO WORK. he just gives very little shit though

its Infuriating

But the he could take you to court and easily gain access. My point is that it is not true that decent parents can be refused access to their DC long term. It just takes a tiny bit of effort on their side to go to court.

I think it should be similar to a student loan.

The resident parent should get a set amount that can be topped up depending on the NRP's income.

NRP's income should be taken at source like tax. If they are self employed or mess around then interest should be added and eventually the NRP will retire and the money can be deducted from their pension.

We should all email our mp, and put more pressure on the government!

In my case, my husband was the main earner in our family. I had a good career prior to children but he didn't want to be the one to sacrifice things like having to leave if kids were sick etc and I was happy with that too. I worked part time low responsibility roles in order to accommodate parenthood. So we lived the lifestyle we did because of his earnings. When he decided to jump ship, we were suddenly left in a VERY different financial position.

Why should the children be forced to give up all the things they enjoy (extracurriculars, birthday parties, days out etc) because their dad can't keep his pants zipped up?

I agree, definitely agree with a DNA database which would also massively help the police and other law enforcement agencies.

People who indulge in "low level crime" are likely to be doing more, i.e. at a very low level, drivers without road tax are also likely to have no valid MOT, no insurance and often not even a driving licence. Many times police have reported stopping a speeding car or one triggered as no tax/insurance/MOT via the ANPR camera and they've found drugs and large quantities of money. Same with child maintenance evasion, tax evasion, cash in hand, black market, etc. You're really not going to find many people only indulging in one kind of "low level crime" - scratch the surface and you'll find a pattern of behaviour through most aspects of their life. Time to get tough.

I'd actually go further than a DNA database, I'd go all out for national ID cards including biometric data so we can start to actually check who is who they claim to be, weed out those with more than one identity, etc. Blair/Prescott bottled it when they tried to do it, but it was needed 20 years ago and it's needed more than ever now.

For example a men who has a one night stand

If having a one-night stand was potentially going to cost thousands of pounds over nearly two decades, and men knew this, they might be less inclined to have one.

Haven’t RTFT but what about resident parents who don’t contribute to their kids’ upbringings either, and expect the state to?

Often the NRP pays a contribution and the government pays the rest.

Perhaps a system could be implemented whereby all child-related benefits paid to the parents are clawed back through later earnings too?

My DD dad quit his 100K a year job last year when he left his girlfriend and child. He obviously decided he didn’t want to pay double maintenance. He’s now been apparently unemployed for over a year and lives with his elderly parents.

The system is flawed, CMS take off money for travel even if the other parent chose to move away and they take off money if there are step kids living under the same roof.

with regards to benefits, universal credit don’t take into account any maintenance so it doesn’t make a difference to a claim

There isn't a black and white answer to this. In my middle class environment, I see single mums doing extremely well living off their children high maintenance from well off exes....who then cry when the children leave home and they are still left with the home paid for but no more maintenance.

I also totally disagree that it's a male issue. It's actually more of a female issue proportionally.

What I'd like to see is a continuous increase in father getting 50% care and both parents equally responsible for care and finances.

If the news reported how many of the criminals were absent fathers for every post (as much as they mention if a woman is a mother for example, equality and all that) I bet there would be a very high correlation. I wonder why the police forces haven't pushed for this alongside DWP/CMS for DNA collection, seeing as ID cards are not a popular vote winner?

Why would you focus on what the woman is doing rather than the children? Men who are millionaires being able to fund a MC life for their kids because they go off with a younger woman shouldn't be a surprise.

If the government put the onus on absent parents to tell their employer to redirect part of their earning to the resident parent's account/pension pot, I think this would be a much better system. Why should women jump through hoops to make a claim (not to mention those who dont claim due to not knowing where the ex has moved to, being scared to claim, feeling too guilty or trusting to claim, etc.) You can break the law by not paying your share of council tax or road tax, buy you can get away with paying nothing for (multiple) children unless someone else jumps through hoops to complete the relevant paperwork? Awful system! If there were actual legal consequences (fines, passport/driving licence confiscation, community service, detention etc.) for those not paying, I'm sure there would be a big uptick in payments being made!

The situations that you describe aren’t what this thread is about though. Those dads clearly do pay. This is about NRPs who don’t.

And most NRPs who don’t pay aren’t interested in having 50/50 care.

If like the idea of waste of space fathers not being able to get a mortgage or finance for anything, make it part of the right to rent checked etc. unless they can show they are supporting their kids their life is seriously negatively impacted. But that wouldn’t help me as my ex found himself a new woman to leech off and reducing his work even more as she’s supporting him 🤷‍♀️would only increase the number of cock lodgers I suspect.

what is needed is a societal attitude change. The judgement I get for being a single mum. That I must love the maintenance (does not even cover half the food kids eat). He never gets judged as he says I was crazy and gets sympathy and understanding of course he had to leave poor man. I mean say it’s true and the woman was cray and making life hell- why do the men not get the judgment for leaving their kids with women like this?!

we need to be calling out men who are absent. Asking how they can afford xyz if they have children. Asking why they holiday without the kids and pulling a judgemental face if they say they need a break just as a mother would get if she announced she’s holidaying without her kids. Publicly shame them.

AND STOP DATING THEM. I’m guilty as his ex before me was “crazy” in his story to sweep his abusive behaviour under the carpet. No kids in that situation. But his partner now knows what I e accused him of knows I’m o e in a long line of women making these accusations and she’s had a go at me as she firmly believes his story. Let’s him live in her house without contributing at all (I know due to financial part of divorce). Let’s him work part time an when the kids go stay she does all the childcare, cooking and cleaning so I assume that’s how it is when my kids not there. And she’s now had a child with him herself. When he divorced her to take half her house and abandons her to support the child/ren alone she may learn her lesson. But us women need to stop believing these crazy ex stories!! I honestly didn’t know how common this story was until it happened to me, won’t entertain a man who insults his ex or does not have his kids 50/50 etc but I had to be burdened with kids by such a man before I learnt this lesson. Women need to teach each other before we fall for it

The frustrating thing is that if staff are given the ability to use the tools CMS have then they could actually do their job.

I have very clear memories of being screamed at by 3 men who were absolutely outraged that we'd actually used powers on them. They were the 3 cases u view as successes in the time I worked there. Two had large sums taken directly from their bank account (and both were outraged to discover their "you cannot do that" was incorrect!) and one who had a charge out on his house, which prevented him from selling it and skipping off somewhere new.

All of the tools are there. There just needs to be societal and political will for them to be used.

I know far more people fiddling the benefits system than i do people who don't pay for their kids. In fact i only know one non resident parent who has never paid a penny in child support and she is actually female!

just seen on Facebook that an inquiry into the CMS is being launched. Anyone who has evidence to submit is encouraged to do so here:

https://committees.parliament.uk/work/9004/child-maintenance/

My exh is the owner of a company. As soon as I left him he stopped working at his own company, stopped drawing a salary and claimed he now “volunteered” there.

He is not on any benefits. Allegedly family members “help him with money”

He owns his own house, paid me in a divorce and manages to live on no benefits, or income.

This apparently doesn’t raise any flags at all, apparently you can decide not to work in your own company for a salary, you can decide to volunteer at it for free and your family can gift you the equivalent of your old wage, whilst getting a zero assessment for payments for your children.

Even the FIU said it was suspicious but not wrong.

@ASimpleLampoon Yes and regardless of having other families they should have to pay.

My useless ex has a cash in hand business (non registered business), he was taken to court in 2019 for arrears, since then he signed on for benefits so I only get the bare minimum from the benefits (as in us tax payers) - despite him earning a fortune and not paying tax and me having provided them with loads of proof. The arrears wont ever get paid as he wont get a proper job! System is a joke!

No, please don't put women in charge of gatekeeping these arseholes. It's awful what your ex did to you but every possible sanction (and I wish I was in charge of this) should be levelled at HIM.

I would break them financially before they would have the energy to so much look at another woman, never mind produce another child. They'd be fully responsible for financing their share of their child(ren)'s upbringing and wellbeing.