To think that men who evade paying for their children are a burden on society?

[ASimpleLampoon]

Not my situation as not divorced but I'm fed up of hearing about thousands of men who don't pay child support or only pay the minimum, or fiddle their employment status/ declared income to pay less

They should pay at least half the actual costs of raising their children, more if they earn significantly more than the other parent

If they can't pay they should be supported to get a better job

If theyre self employed and can't pay enough well get a job that allows you to pay.

If they're getting paid in cash, take on more work to pay or find a job where they can't hide their income so they have to pay.

They are the real burden on society , fed up of seeing disabled people and carers torn apart while these feckless men get away with it year after year.

Where is the government and media campaign against them?

i would almost wonder if it's less damaging for them to not see him at all. talk about a constant feeling of rejection. and ultra poor role modeling, that it's ok to be a minimally involved parent.

what ages are they?

A non resident parent shouldn't have to go to court to get custody... it's BOTH sets of parent's responsibility to ensure the children have equal relationships with BOTH parents.

Too many parents use the children as weapons... if you don't pay, you wont see them... that's blackmail!

It takes 2 people to make a baby, everyone saying it's the mans responsibility to take precautions... no.. it's down to both of you to take precautions.

But sadly it's the man who loses out... say a woman gets pregnant, and the man doesn't want it... tough, the man has no choice.

But if a woman gets pregnant, and the woman doesn't ea tit.. again.. the man has no choice

No. There can be problems in both sides but they are so far from equal in impact and rate that to put them side by side on a thread specifically about male non payment in a desperate display of "whataboutery" is ridiculous. Plenty of women, including me do work full time once kids are in school but it's tough. Any sick day, inset day, failure of childcare and it's me who has to handle it. I earn a graduate salary so it's worth it but if I was on a lower salary it probably wouldn't be worth all the juggling it takes to keep a full time job. Meanwhile, thousands of fathers see their kids twice a month, can't possibly contemplate more because "work" and berate and resent women for requiring them to financially contribute to the children. I begged my ex for 50/50 and he wasn't interested, despite the fact we do the SAME job. I know plenty of women who would love to share contact more equally and the dads simply refuse.

20 (obvs doesn’t have regular weekly visits), 15, 12 & 10.

The older 2 have definitely decided what they think of him, the younger one idolises him and I think the jury’s out for my 12 year old.

Until very recently they’d just sort of accepted how it was but lately they’re definitely questioning why he doesn’t want to spend more time with them.

Ultimately he decided he didn’t want a family, doesn’t want to cut ties entirely becuase he’s not a total monster but doesn’t want to
combine his new life with his old.

I think they get used to not having to factor in the kids in their daily lives and logistics. They forget that for the most part, you work around them not the other way around. My ex is frequently put out that out teens don't want to see him if it means missing something that falls on a dad weekend and he won't facilitate.

Very well said.

The fact that the first post starts with “it’s not just men” says it all. We will never have real equality whilst women continue to defend shitty men to the hilt. Some kids will carry on living in poverty. Young girls will continue to be taught to have low standards for relationships. And the cycle continues.

The man does have a choice: don't have unprotected sex or abstain.

How did he happen to sire four kids over 10 years when he’s so disinterested in them??

As can the woman…

Obviously.

If child maintenance was taken in to account for benefits you’d have a point, but it isn’t so you don’t. Obviously we all think parents should pay for their children but wether or not fathers pay mothers who are caring for their children and relying on benefits, it won’t make a difference to the benefits bill.

Of course, but she can also choose MAP or abortion as well.

A man can have a vasectomy and/or use a condom.

But a woman can choose to opt out of pregnancy, a man can't opt out.

So what? Contraception is not a new thing and neither is the fact a woman can quite rightly choose to abort or not as its HER body - the abortion act came in 1967 so its been around for a while. Even my children have learnt about this at school. It's not rocket science, is not a woman's job to provide contraception more than it is a mans, it's just woman carry the full burden if it does go wrong. And as for abortion, well how many men pick up the pieces and help with that? Or is a woman supposed to do that alone too?

He can though.

He can prevent the pregnancy even happening in the first place. That is opting out.

Yes. And she “pretended” to be on birth control. They had met when 17 and he started to want his freedom. So she thought that would sort everything.

She’s admitted it now and left him with the baby and she’s off.

She’s a nightmare.

Thing is men know the second that sperm leaves their body they have zero choice in what happens to it should it find a cosy egg to make a home in.

If men don’t want unwanted babies and children they need to keep their sperm safe and make sure personally that it cannot hit an egg.

Much like women wouldn’t trust a man saying his on the pill they need to shut up and wear the bloody condom, get a vasectomy or abstain.

It’s the women’s body his giving that sperm to. Once it’s in her it’s her and he gave it to her.

Steve's mates in the pub told him he was a dick for not paying, or Mike was likely to not be invited back to 5-a-side because his friends think neglecting your children financial is shit, and if Brian finds women don't want to date him as he doesn't pay for his kids then men would pay.

Late to this, but this could be written about any male issue. Rape, crime, porn use, misogyny.

Sadly I can’t see it happening. Men prop each other up, always have always will. It’s some fucking Neanderthal bro code.

Oh I see it’s descended into the usual MRA bullshit.

Men are predictable if nothing else.

😀I don't think you understand how reproductive biology works.

I can only assume you are a man as no woman would ever say But sadly it's the man who loses out... say a woman gets pregnant, and the man doesn't want it... unless they are trolling.

As PPs have said a man has a choice when he gets his dick out. He can put a condom on it before he shoves it in. Or he can have a vasectomy if he doesn't like using condoms. If he doesn't then when he has sex he does so in the knowledge that two things may happen, first he may be creating a child and putting the woman through a pregnancy and that the decision to carry on with or terminate that pregnancy is quite rightly HERS as it is her body and her health that will be impacted (and her life going forward if he decides to walk away). Secondly he knows that if the two of them make a child and she keeps it he will have to pay for it (or come up with some not too difficult way to dodge his responsibilities) for the next 18 years.

It absolutely could be though.
CMS dictate amount due, and imo there should be a base minimum. CM is paid to RP by government and taken from NRP income, like tax and NI. Then it could be classed as income as it's guaranteed thereby reducing the benefit bill. Quite a simple solution don't you think?
If RP doesn't pay the government then they're in debt to the government, like unpaid tax and they can take the appropriate debt retrieval measures, and no child goes hungry 🤷

It’s the man who loses? Is this a joke? Many only ask for shared care once they’ve failed to evade CM. Even then, some dump them on their mothers.

There have been times when maintenance was taken into account in benefit payments. That stopped because men didnt pay but if the state guaranteed payment could happen again. If women receive guaranteed payment they are more likely to be able to go to work anyway.

The government need to be up for enforcing payment. Yes it's ridiculous that a man can pay £200 towards supporting his kids while paying more for his fancy car.

The different enforcement in other European countries is interesting - you can be jailed in Germany and many countries will seize assets. Could be why they have fewer single parents. https://www.europarl.europa.eu/RegData/etudes/note/join/2014/474407/IPOL-FEMM_NT(2014)474407_EN.pdf