It’s goodbye from me

[solongandthxforthefish]

I’ve been on mumsnet since the early days, it’s seen my family grow up and become adults, seen me become a grandparent.

its been a happy place, a supportive place through thick and thin and I’ve made lots of contacts who I will miss.

the supportive threads are being lost amongst ones of hatred and intolerance for difference, for the others and by threads about high incomes not being enough, of how disabled people are increasingly hated, how children with SEND are an inconvenience. Boomers, of which I am not one, are hated.

is there anybody mumsnet members actually like?

im taking a break, however long is needed until the hatred is less.

Fucking hell. Talk about having no fucking idea.🙄

I've been on since mumsnet started too @solongandthxforthefish I was even asked if I'd like to help, but being on maternity leave and facing going back to work, I declined.

I too see this huge change. It was all help, cheer and support in those early days - the founders have done a great job influencing government on key areas too.

There are so many keyboard warriors now who pick on people for ridiculous things like spelling and commas. Small minded people who can't work out how to just chill and find a solution.

I do wonder if the majority of the first subscribers were genx and so the issue is about how boomers and genx have brought up the younger generations. Yes it's on us.

How we're all so heavily influenced by social media and fake news and therefore some think we can lay into people without repercussion because noone can see you. Or that being rich or famous is the end game.

Social media is both a joy and curse. I take time out a lot cos I know how else to spend my time having lived in a world where there wasn't a public internet or social media. I feel sorry for the younger generations who have little or no experience of some of the joys in life that are not gained through an electronic device.

X

I totally agree. I often wonder if some of the posters on here would reply in the same manner if it was a face to face discussion.

I'm well aware of what a food bank is and how to access one.

It is not a viable long term alternative to being able to afford to eat. And as I said, you need to fit and healthy to get there, carry everything home, and make creative meals. Which I am not.

I am quite literally starving so there's no need for the inverted commas. I can barely keep myself above being underweight. Picture attached to show what I mean. I don't have more weight to lose.

I think overall its a very pleasant forum. The vast majority of posters are polite and friendly. Some are absolutely lovely, and I see lots of wise, kind, supportive posts. Obviously some threads deal with controversial subjects, so if you're personally invested in a topic where there are strong opposing views, it's highly likely you'll read things you don't care for. If that offends or hurts you, it's better leaving those threads to those who don't mind a bit of a row.
You do get people who pop up randomly and say something unnecessarily nasty. There's a right charmer on a S&B thread at the moment. But quite honestly, it's usually clear they're not the sharpest tool in the shed, a weirdo, or daft as a brush, so not to be taken seriously.

Why did you say it?

I wondered if the demographic change was a generational one, depressing.

MN was so helpful to me a few weeks ago.
I was in a foreign city with my teen son who became unwell.
It all turned out absolutely fine, but for one evening I felt worried, alone and unsure what to do.
By the end of the evening I felt reassured, supported and cared for. By a load of lovely strangers.

There are some genuinely lovely, kind hearted people on here. I am very grateful to a few MNers over the years for their support to a random stranger.

She’s still around.

Yes it has. It's unrecognisable from what it was 20 years ago.

& she wasn't/isnt rude. It's a very caring person who just says it like it is and doesn't want people putting up with shit relationships.

I don’t blame you. MN has become vile and weirdly I find it’s not the nicest community I’ve been part of for mums/parents.

Youve just got to be clever about the way you ask a question/post a thread. I agree - it has been great for getting opinions.

I've definitely seen rude comments in my time. The line between straight talking and outright rudeness can be a tricky one to get right consistently.

Did you then get loads of people try to vilify you for not just lying down and taking their abuse? That seems to be the way it normally goes.

Well normally I prefer a Friday Flounce, but I suppose a Wednesday Walkout will do the job.

They are often worse. They can be hateful and cruel they are just more shady and spineless about it.

@ThePurpleBuffalo It’s utterly bizarre to post a picture of your waist.

It’s even weirder to respond to someone saying they agree with a change to legislation surrounding disability benefits by taking it as a personal attack. Something else you see a lot of on here…

I’ve been here 12 years, not seen the changes that you refer to tbh.

Obviously some threads deal with controversial subjects, so if you're personally invested in a topic where there are strong opposing views, it's highly likely you'll read things you don't care for. If that offends or hurts you, it's better leaving those threads to those who don't mind a bit of a row.
I 💯 agree with this. In the past I'd waste my time on threads about WC people, the word CHAV set my teeth on edge, now I don't read them.

Every WC person was identified as wearing a tracksuit with a fluffy hair bobbin, bad teeth.
The jo jo bow phase was a definite class marker, ridiculing young girls as a little chav.

OP, have you never offended anyone on MN? It happens.
Just avoid the subjects that are triggers.

@WhereIsMyJumper I agree with you. I don’t understand why so many people seem to take the conversations personally. It is happening a lot and has been for ages, but has been especially bad lately, I guess due to the new Green Paper. I understand people are anxious, but I have a real issue with the attempts to pressure / shame others into not talking about a topic. I’m definitely not denying it is stressful for people who rely on disability benefits (I actually wasn’t that stressed about it due to the severity of my disability, but basically “caught” anxiety from Mumsnet and ended up watching the speech live to check I wouldn’t be affected) but I just can’t agree that it justifies emotionally blackmailing others to stop talking about it every time the topic comes up.

Gransnet can be Reform Central at times - some big fans on there!

I've been here in various names since 2007. It has been a victim of its own success, in that it is too big now and too easy to be anonymous/name change.

I always thought, and still do, that MN is populated (in the main) by people who are very bored with their day-to-day lives. People who fabricate stories. There are very few high earners in this country and yet they are all on MN? Available to post all day? Nah.

It also used to have a different demographic. People who were intelligent, thoughtful, and articulate. Now it's like Netmums but without the glittery tickers.

Tattle is better. ✌