It’s goodbye from me

[solongandthxforthefish]

I’ve been on mumsnet since the early days, it’s seen my family grow up and become adults, seen me become a grandparent.

its been a happy place, a supportive place through thick and thin and I’ve made lots of contacts who I will miss.

the supportive threads are being lost amongst ones of hatred and intolerance for difference, for the others and by threads about high incomes not being enough, of how disabled people are increasingly hated, how children with SEND are an inconvenience. Boomers, of which I am not one, are hated.

is there anybody mumsnet members actually like?

im taking a break, however long is needed until the hatred is less.

Oh yes. I had to accept their version of events as they were my DC (adult and very financially savvy). What I wouldn't accept was the lies they put in their posts. Quoting things I hadn't said. Tbh I think 50% were on the sauce. Horrible posts usually peak on a Friday after 8pm!

@Surfshoe no not blended families. Son offered a loan under specific conditions then changed the goal posts wanting early repayment. He's calmed down now as I'm seriously unwell.

I admire your restraint. But when you're a working class vegan MiL who used to live in a council house and have botox, trying to avoid reading something rude would mean the pickings would be slim to say the least. I've the skin of a rhino so tend to wade into the fray regardless. 😁

On the whole I do like mumsnet. Sometimes though it's a bit heavy and not much of a laugh. I seen a new chat forum advertised on Instagram the other day, the are giving out free accounts to people, presumably to try and kick start it. So I signed up for a account. It looks good although a bit quite.

I'm simply proving how difficult it is to have enough to eat. I'm a disabled peri menopausal woman in my early forties - I shouldn't be almost underweight.

This thread is ridiculous. If you have an ulcer because you are taking medication on an empty stomach then maybe organise to have breakfast! There are free food options in every area. I can’t buy into self inflicted misery. A bowl of cereal is available to everyone.

No, I'm 2 pounds above being underweight.

Unless someone is going to bring that to me, it's not of use to me.

Who cares ?

I think that's the real issue, the Internet as a whole has become so toxic, people are just so nasty to each other. I think people having anonymity had just given them licence to be worse and worse and the confidence to be awful grows each time someone gives them a pat on the back with a like or backing them up. You see it on these threads, if everyone is supportive you see less nastiness but if the first page of posts is a pile on, it just snowballs, almost like competitive nastiness.

But you only have to look at this thread to see the OPs point, people jumping on here desperate to put a kick in and add a nasty post when they could ignore. One supposedly has a migraine but still found the time to pop on just for another kick. Its just all so unnecessary and cant help but see their point.

@ThePurpleBuffalo Having a disability doesn’t make you not an adult with some responsibility to sort out your own plans. If you can use MN, you can place an online order to get something cheap delivered.

No biggie until I end up in the hospital with malnutrition related issues for the umpteenth time.

Surprisingly, one of the first things I thought of was having enough money to buy and order my own food.

I don't have that.

Do you have any support at all?
Do the hosp keep fixing you and sending you home w/o any sort of care plan in place?
nb I obviously have no idea what your disability is.

I live alone and my small family doesn't live nearby. I've got friends around me and they do sometimes buy food for me, but I can't ask them to do that all the time.

Yes, the hospital only makes sure I'm not going to die and then discharges me.

I have been on the phone to charities before. I am always welcome to a bag of food - but it relies on me being physically capable to go and get it. So that's very spotty help. I've not been able to find anywhere that delivers where I am.

I get that it's easy to blame me, but I'm smart and resourceful and I'm also a pretty good cook. It's just that these days I can't think my way out of my physical limitations or tiny food budget. I could make it stretch further if I could get to the supermarket and get good quality basics and spend a few hours in the kitchen making it - but if I could do that, I'd get a job.

I’ve been on various forums a long time. It’s never a good idea to get aggravated at what random posters say or post. 🙄

Some are fantasists, some are nasty, and some are just the usual keyboard warriors. 🤷‍♀️

You wouldn’t know anyone if you met them in the street, but all best taken with a pinch of salt. 😉

Because for many people changes in legislation are something that attacks them on a personal level. They can create huge disruption and loss, and people become very anxious about it. So when they see other people enthusiastic about something that's going to harm them, often retaining the enthusiasm after they've explained the harm, some do take it personally. Its not just people on benefits who do this. Their responses have been pretty restrained by comparison with threads about changes to inheritance tax, and VAT on school fees, where things were taken very personally indeed. Posters speaking in favour of the changes were insulted, called jealous, ignorant, stupid, uncaring of children and so on.

@ThePurpleBuffalo Much easier to complain on MN and not do anything to change the situation.

What do you suggest I do about having a severe disability? Increase gumption?