It’s goodbye from me

[solongandthxforthefish]

I’ve been on mumsnet since the early days, it’s seen my family grow up and become adults, seen me become a grandparent.

its been a happy place, a supportive place through thick and thin and I’ve made lots of contacts who I will miss.

the supportive threads are being lost amongst ones of hatred and intolerance for difference, for the others and by threads about high incomes not being enough, of how disabled people are increasingly hated, how children with SEND are an inconvenience. Boomers, of which I am not one, are hated.

is there anybody mumsnet members actually like?

im taking a break, however long is needed until the hatred is less.

The thing they absolutely loved the best was a thread about MN Royalty where they could all come on and deny its existence while simultaneously basking in what they thought was their glory 😂

I'm quite new, and find the positive stuff outweighs the negative by a pretty long way. Perhaps things were even better in the old days, but the support and concern and generous advice is still there if you look for it.
Anyway, bye for now. I wish I could give it up because it takes far too much of my time!

The unedited version wasn’t better either.

I did laugh though when someone suggested she might be the Duchess of Cambridge. 😄

Oh god this. It was actually awful. Online real cliques are just tragic.

Bullies never consider themselves bullies.
In fact, when singled out, they claim victimhood.

I agree it was never a lovely place. It was always a bit of a nest of vipers. It is worse now, IMO, so polarised and unnecessarily harsh on new mums.

The biggest problem with the site now is the trolling, much of which is left to stand, goady posts tapping into the worst side of some of the people here. Abelism and racism goes unchallenged.

I dip in and out but one thing is for sure, if I was a new mother looking for support, I wouldn’t look here.

I've been on here for years, I was pretty shocked at first by the tone and some of the very plain speaking. And that was on relationships!
I think I've been hardened be being on mumsnet and look I'm posting in aibu! I'm scared of no-one now.
I remember getting a kicking when I posted about a SEND thing, I was so upset I didn't dare come on for weeks. I'm meh now. For which I'm grateful it's made me mentally healthier.
I love mumsnet, I laugh until I cry sometimes, women are so witty.

Why? No-one keeps tabs on every
member.

One thing I have noticed on MN is a distinct lack of a sense of humour in many posters, along with a propensity for being easily offended !!

Yeah but also something isn’t bullying just because you say it is.

I’ve been here since at least 2011, and I remember being truly shocked by how horrible people were on here when I joined, so I am not convinced by people saying how great snd lovely Mumsnet used to be.

Me too, 100 percent, the popular posters in particular would slay you in an instant, if you were brave enough to challenge one.
Working class bashing threads and SPAG bashing threads were a daily occurrence.
As always there was a good balance of supportive posters too.

Guilty conscience?
Where and when did I say something was bullying?

Some Mumsnet posters have created this mythical past,were it was happy, supportive back in their day. It’s a shared delusion

Because you’re left of centre, not extreme left. You are far more sensible

Read the quoted thread, please.

Personally I thought the edit added a little something.

There's no need to announce it, is there?

I avoid the harsher posts as my mental health is already fragile. There are still lots of good discussions to be had though.

I completely understand this OP.

I am truly astounded by some of the rudeness and the audacity of many posts on Mumsnet. I hate seeing this level of churlishness, and have had a lot directed at me - including at least 3 comments today.

I have taken many breaks and then returned as I tend to find it quite addictive, but the nasty comments really do spoil my enjoyment.

I put a post up at the end of the year about a family financial disagreement.
I had five posters lay into me and accusing me of criminality and abuse. They hadn't read the thread and decided to make up their own back story. A lot of it got taken down and there was good advice. On this occasion I fought back. I usually just disengage but I thought no, you're being vile and I'm not having it.
Ive been on here for over twenty years and it's generally helpful. I don't post in FWR as there is too much hate for the LGBT community.
These people have no answers only their own take on why people feel different. How it effects them and never a consideration for the feelings of others.
My advice pick your threads wisely. Give advice when you can help and bog off when you can't.

Yes don't blame you. Lots of racists on here and plenty of discrimination. Going on and on about how refugees/asylum seekers are taking 'our money' - as if England belongs to mumsnetters just because they were born here. Disgraceful.

There is an enormous right wing bias on here. Some horrendous racism. Anyone obviously working class is picked on.....

But there are good aspects too - good advice, intelligent discussion among women.

It is what it is. You aren't wrong to have tired of it, OP. I have felt like that too at times.

But also I kinda feel, better to light a candle than curse the darkness. Should good women leave a forum for discussion among women, because they feel concerns about the views being promoted? Or should they, instead, shout louder? Or if they aren't the shouting type, continue quietly to chip away with same, kind posts on (at times) frankly horrendously right wing threads?

Your decision, OP. I wish you wellz whatever you decide.

I agree.

I was on MN more or less back in that day under my present username which I've never changed except to protect my family and employment.

I enjoyed the way better standard of debate but my God it was cliquey. To be fair many of the MN royalty, of which I was not one, did not behave like twats at all.

I can only see the fawning in retrospect when a "does anyone remember X" thread starts it all up.

I bloody hope I haven't kicked one off by saying this.