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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to continue turning in the school gate?

488 replies

NortonBuns · 19/03/2025 14:18

I drive my dd to school everyday and once I drop her off I turn around and drive home. I approach the back gate of the school and use this entrance to turn my car round so I can head back home.
The school have now put up a sign saying keep our children safe, no stopping, dropping off or turning in the entrance.
So where am I supposed to turn around? If I carry on I reach the front gate which is busier and has the busses. If I turn before I reach the back entrance I am doing a three point turn in busy school run traffic with lots of children walking and cycling.
So AIBU to say I am safest turning in the large double gate and ignoring the new sign?

OP posts:
elliejjtiny · 19/03/2025 19:48

If you are in catchment/less than a mile away and you/your dc don't have a disability then walk your child to school.

If you aren't in the catchment area/live more than a mile away and you/your dc don't have a disability then drive to a nearby car park and then walk your child to school.

If you/your dc have a disability that prevents this then talk to the school who should be able to make arrangements for you to have a parking space near the school (that's what we did when our autistic child was younger and would try and escape into the road.

Our school run takes 90 minutes at the moment, thanks to roadworks, despite all our dc being at the nearest schools. Roll on September when youngest goes to secondary school and the roadworks finish.

Miyagi99 · 19/03/2025 19:57

StartEngine · 19/03/2025 19:43

Your child sounds marvellous. So OP’s child should walk a six mile round trip, sounds feasible. Oh wait, did you just want to make sure we knew about your child walking a mile and a half?

Show quote history

No, OP can drop her down the road from the school so she can walk then OP can keep going till the next road (she’s stated it’s not a cul-de-sac) and drive home, she doesn’t need to drop her at the school and turn round at the school.

mathanxiety · 19/03/2025 20:07

This one is so difficult.
So many nuances.
So many what ifs.

StartEngine · 19/03/2025 20:09

Miyagi99 · 19/03/2025 19:57

No, OP can drop her down the road from the school so she can walk then OP can keep going till the next road (she’s stated it’s not a cul-de-sac) and drive home, she doesn’t need to drop her at the school and turn round at the school.

Show quote history

Two miles down or should she three point turn somewhere earlier? That was her original question.

WiddlinDiddlin · 19/03/2025 20:21

Why is it so hard to believe that there could be several miles of road you can't park up on before the school?

The school I went to was set in a village that was literally a tiny triangle around a green, school one side, pub and a couple of houses on the other sides, no where to park as double yellows all round the triangle. The approach road to this and past it was country road, no verge, no pavement, no pull ins except one very frequently used farm gate a mile away (and farmer who would absolutely drive a tractor through your car if he felt like it). 60MPH road, nowhere to leave a car for six miles one way and four the other.

You had to get the bus, anyone being collected (very rare, typically only if being collected before the end of the school day) had to have their parent hover and risk being yelled at (by the teachers supervising everyone getting on their buses), the only kids who walked home were the ones who lived down a public footpath across two fields.

Thepossibility · 19/03/2025 20:26

I drop my DD approx 7 minute walk away from school because that's where it is safest to turn abound. She walks across a park and down the road using her own legs. Her school is on a dead end road and there are so many idiot parents that insist they drop off there, then doing ridiculous U turns and 3 point turns all over the place where there are kids trying to cross. The only reason for that is if your child is diabled. There is a solution OP it's just not right near the school.

FrozenFeathers · 19/03/2025 20:27

Could you walk or bike to the school?

ElleEmDee · 19/03/2025 20:33

NortonBuns · 19/03/2025 18:26

I have had a go at a drawing but obviously not to scale as the school is about 2 miles from the a road. There are houses all along the road to the school but no side roads.
The arrows show my route in.

I don’t have a solution for you but I have to say that is a very good drawing! Have you asked the school what they propose as a solution? It sounds like it affects lots of parents and their sign hasn’t worked so maybe they can work with everyone to come up with a plan that is safe but also convenient enough so parents will actually follow it.

RawBloomers · 19/03/2025 20:34

I am a bit confused by your diagram and your comment further up thread about there being access along one of the school entracnes to more businesses. Does that not make it a side road you could drive down and then turn near those businesses? I'm going to assume not for some reason, but if that is a possibility that might change the rest of my post...

I can see why the school do not want people turning in their entrances at school drop off/pick up. It obviously endangers pedestrians, especially as many of them are teens - one of the most vulnerable ages for being hit by vehicles.

But given the road system you describe, I also see why you (and all the other parents doing the same thing) are scratching your heads about what you should be doing. It maybe your school has always had a high number of students driven in cars, but most schools have seen bus/cycling/walking drop and car use rise in that time frame so I think most likely no thought or investment has been given to transport issues over the last few decades to ensure there are suitable facilities for students.

What you ought to do is lobby your councilors for changes that allow you to turn but in the meantime drive on to big junction at the end of the school road and cross or turn there to get to somewhere where there is a side road or other suitable turning place. Frustrating to have to drive a significant way further, but that's not really an excuse for endangering pedestrians.

PurpleThistle7 · 19/03/2025 20:43

I would just drop her somewhere within a 30 minute walk from school and turn around in peace. Appreciate you can’t walk 6 miles but I’m sure there’s a solution in a mile radius somewhere.

Farmwifefarmlife · 19/03/2025 20:45

NortonBuns · 19/03/2025 18:26

I have had a go at a drawing but obviously not to scale as the school is about 2 miles from the a road. There are houses all along the road to the school but no side roads.
The arrows show my route in.

Can you not drop off on the corner of the A road? and carry on / turn around on that road. We have rural village school parking is a nightmare!! The busses really struggle several signs & notices in the newspaper have gone out but people have ignored them. They’ve not put a physical barrier up to stop people parking where the busses need to be. If you all carry on you’ll risk that happening and then be forced into finding a different way to turn around.

0ohLarLar · 19/03/2025 20:45

She said there is no bus from their location

I mean the school transport, that she's entitled to because its her nearest state school but its 6 miles away.

Right?

Probably not. Probably op has a more suitable school nearer home, but thinks her special DC can't possibly go there. So isn't entitled to the transport provided to prevent this situation.

Or its a private school.

MellersSmellers · 19/03/2025 20:47

Doh....To "turn" you must have to reverse, which is never a good idea with loads of young children around. Sorry, you're a selfish chump.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 19/03/2025 20:49

0ohLarLar · 19/03/2025 20:45

She said there is no bus from their location

I mean the school transport, that she's entitled to because its her nearest state school but its 6 miles away.

Right?

Probably not. Probably op has a more suitable school nearer home, but thinks her special DC can't possibly go there. So isn't entitled to the transport provided to prevent this situation.

Or its a private school.

Your opinions about the OP potentially not using the nearest school (which is really common) still don’t mean there is a bus though. It’s not about her thinking her DC is too special, it’s about her being too lazy to drive for longer. She doesn’t want to hit the busy traffic and she needs to get over herself.

SergeantDawkins · 19/03/2025 20:59

NortonBuns · 19/03/2025 18:52

There are no side roads, why post if you can’t be bothered to read the thread. No matter how early I leave I have to turn around. Either before or after the school, I just think it’s safer before. For what it’s worth the sign went up a week ago and so far everyone has carried on as usual.

Show quote history

I have read the whole thread and you’re being VU everyone seems to agree. No one believes that in the entire journey from home to school has nowhere at all that you can park and walk from at either end of the school road.
You don’t need to drop directly in front of the school. No one does (unless mobility issues). Just pure entitlement.

Crazybaby123 · 19/03/2025 21:07

You have to park a way from the school and walk like everyone else in the country.
When I was in primary a boy got hit and killed by a mum dropping her child off at the gates and turning, thats why they have the rules and the zig zags. It obviously ruined many peoples lives, I am sure the mum didnt expect that to ever happen but it did.
Our school calls out the parking wardens when people start parking in the wrong places.

Fins2025 · 19/03/2025 21:12

I voted YABU but reading your updates I think the parents should talk to the school and the town council to come up with a plan that gets all the kids to school safely. This does seem to be badly thought out. Why build a school in a rural area with no safe way to drop kids off?

SparrowFeet · 19/03/2025 21:24

You're going to have to leave more time and go the long way around

GravyBoatWars · 19/03/2025 21:54

You said 10% of the parents are doing what you do. So what are the other 90% doing? And why is that not an option for you?

LadyBracknellsHandbagg · 19/03/2025 22:40

GravyBoatWars · 19/03/2025 21:54

You said 10% of the parents are doing what you do. So what are the other 90% doing? And why is that not an option for you?

The OP said in an earlier post that ‘all the parents do it’, so she’s changed it to 10% now?!

GravyBoatWars · 19/03/2025 22:44

LadyBracknellsHandbagg · 19/03/2025 22:40

The OP said in an earlier post that ‘all the parents do it’, so she’s changed it to 10% now?!

Show quote history

She did say that "all the parents" did this after dropping at the back gate to avoid having to keep going towards the front gate, but then later said that actually 90% of students were arriving at the front gate not this back one.

So I'd love to know what all the parents who drop at the front gate are doing and why that isn't an option for OP.

AprilF00L · 19/03/2025 22:48

I would be embarrassed to have you as my parent if I was at that school. A parent disregarding the rules. Saying "fuck you"

StartEngine · 19/03/2025 23:15

WiddlinDiddlin · 19/03/2025 20:21

Why is it so hard to believe that there could be several miles of road you can't park up on before the school?

The school I went to was set in a village that was literally a tiny triangle around a green, school one side, pub and a couple of houses on the other sides, no where to park as double yellows all round the triangle. The approach road to this and past it was country road, no verge, no pavement, no pull ins except one very frequently used farm gate a mile away (and farmer who would absolutely drive a tractor through your car if he felt like it). 60MPH road, nowhere to leave a car for six miles one way and four the other.

You had to get the bus, anyone being collected (very rare, typically only if being collected before the end of the school day) had to have their parent hover and risk being yelled at (by the teachers supervising everyone getting on their buses), the only kids who walked home were the ones who lived down a public footpath across two fields.

Why is it so hard to believe that there could be several miles of road you can't park up on before the school?

  1. People with limited imagination who rarely experience anything outside of their small scope of experience, or:
  2. People that just enjoy being dicks on the internet.
StartEngine · 19/03/2025 23:16

AprilF00L · 19/03/2025 22:48

I would be embarrassed to have you as my parent if I was at that school. A parent disregarding the rules. Saying "fuck you"

Lovely.

cherish123 · 19/03/2025 23:17

Are the rules for everyone else, not you?