House deposit

[GassyCanister]

If you had two children, would you give £20,000 to one towards a house deposit. Nothing to the other?

Context:
Child 1 has 2 children of their own. Previously owned home, moved to bigger home, price increased significantly between purchase / selling so had a fair bit of equity.

Child 2 first time buyer. No children of their own.

i won’t say who I am yet in the story until I’ve got some idea if I’m being unreasonable or not.

No I would not

I'd never treat kids different to each other so no!

No I’d give them both £10k each

Not enough information. If one child had hugely higher income than the other or had a hugely different ability to look after themselves then maybe.

I have a friend who earns A LOT of money alongside her DH also earning a lot, her sister has a health condition that has limited her education and also earning potential. Their parents insist on treating them both equally. My friend passes the money she receives from them to her sister as she has absolutely no need for it and her sister is desperately on need of it.

Treating children fairly does not always mean treating them equally.

No I treat all mine equally

No, I’d treat equally.

I agree with @Littletreefrog but on the face of it I would split the money equally between the children in this case.

(One of the nice things about having an only child is not having to grapple with this sort of thing!)

Depends if one of them has a lot more money than the other.

In general terms, no i wouldn't. In real terms, if child 1 was better off than me and it was child 2's only way of getting on the market, yes I would.

No

This is similar to my family situation - I’m the older child (only 3 years) who bought at the right time plus my partner got help with our deposit from his parents (my parents couldn’t help at the time)

I wouldn’t be upset if my younger sibling was gifted £20k to help get them get onto the ladder, in vastly different circumstances. My parents are now retired, have paid off their own mortgage etc.

wouldn’t bother me one bit!

This

I have lots less than my richer, older, siblings my parents gave me £20k but that was an advance on our inheritance and I’ll get less when they pass. If the parents cant afford £40k now could they do something like that? In reality it’s already been a decade so it will be worth less to them when they get it which isn’t imminent, but they will let that go.

Yes, if situations meant that it was the most sensible thing and if the kids both agreed. I would want to make it up at some point though.
My kid who owns a house is always asking me to push her sibling to house hunt, and to help contribute to their sibling's house deposit. They care about each other owning a home.

Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope!!!

Treat them equally. Never give one without the other and that is the way its always been with me.

If I only had 20k, yes I'd give it to the one trying to buy a house because that child needs a house amd the other doesn't.

I’m child 1 in this scenario (although no significant increase in house value). My parents are giving my sibling £70k for a deposit.
Possibly if I was a bigger person I’d be able to say this doesn’t bother me at all. But it does.

Always? In every situation? One child is unable to work and is in assisted living accommodation due to learning disabilities, the other is earning a 6 figure salary you still give them exactly the same?

Obviously you are child 2. Child 1 has a house and isn't getting 20k

People getting 20k don't ask if they are unreasonable to get it.

The real aibu is obviously whether your sibling is reasonable to feel pissed off that they did it without help and you're getting a lift up so whilst I can see why parents would help "Child 2" because she needs help buying a house, it's not unreasonable for the sibling to feel irked but this should be directed at the parents for treating kids differently and sibling likely feels annoyed that they have always worked hard and not been helped in the same way.

No. My two children have just bought a house each. I gave them some money to help buy beds . The same amount each.

Mum? Is that you?

Fully depends on the circumstances and you've not given enough to say.

Not necessarily. Perhaps Child 1 got the £20k deposit years ago and the OP is Child 2, pissed off they're getting nothing since the money has run out!

Suggest a codicil is added to the parents’ wills to account for the £20k advance (gift) on the child’s inheritance.

More info needed. Eg. How old are they?

"No children of her own" could change if Child 2 is of child bearing age.

Child 1 could be on the verge of adding another 6 kids to the mix and need to upsize very soon.

What area are you in? £20k might be a 20% deposit in some areas but not enough to make a blind bit of difference in others.

How much savings/other assets does child 2 have?

What are their earning prospects like?