To hate it when people "help" me with the pram

[willywallaby]

Ugh, just a rant! I get my pram on and off buses every day, I know how to do it. People help me without even asking, all the time. Like I've wheeled the back of it onto the street and someone will take the front and lift it down for me but it's always a surprise and I lose my footing. Quite often they don't put it down gently so baby gets SLAMMED down. Today I had wheeled the back wheels off of the bus, and a man lifted the front end so we were hovering in the air and I didn't know how to continue. So for the first time ever I said please can you put my pram down, I don't need help. And I had to insist a couple of times because he was so confused I didn't want help!

You're calling out a suggestion as twatty?
Wow, that's 'interesting' thinking, but rude to voice it.

Grabbing, moving or touching other people in public without asking isn't kind or helpful.

Dropping is not the same as "slamming down", which implies considerable force being used. And if they do drop it, it’s presumably because they can see you already have the back wheels on the ground (or they can see from your grumpy face that you want them to let go immediately).

Like you'd really be ok with someone lifting up your baby's pram and dropping it just because they're not using lots of force 😂

But nobody in these 2 scenarios are grabbing or touching other people so your point it?

I once got off the tube at Kensal Rise or Kensal Green. It's got really steep steps.

A woman with a buggy got off and everybody else just walked up the steps and left her.

I helped her carry the buggy up the stairs, but I was twatted and wasn't really in any state to be taking a baby's life in my hands - but needs must...

Maybe the other passengers had encountered mothers like @willywallaby and knew to stay well clear?

No, they don’t, but I don’t think it’s anything to do with being a woman. I think smiling is just the polite response to someone who has tried to be helpful, even if they haven’t gone about it in the way you would prefer.

I don’t know why people are being such dicks to you about this! I 100% agree with you. My children are grown up but I hated this and a lot of the time it is dangerous for people to help without asking first. I was once getting off the train backwards with the pram, as I was stepping down a man lifted the other end but the change in weight actually made me fall backwards on to the platform. Thankfully the pram stayed up right and my daughter was fine but I broke my ankle. He just then walked off as if nothing had happened.

People and/or their pushchairs or wheelchairs or belongings then.
Just don't grab, move or touch anything that belongs to someone else without asking.
Amazed that so many adults still need this explicitly pointed out.

Manipulating with your baby…fuck me I’ve heard it all now 🤣.
Someone was trying to help, not have a fiddle and fondle with the kid.

I took my 3mo DS swimming last week. I had my tiny baby in my arms as I went to get our stuff out of the locker to get dressed when a child barged into me and I dropped my changing bag upside down on the wet floor so all our clothes fell out. There was a whole group of people sitting on the chairs 6ft away waiting for their children in swimming lessons and NOT ONE OF THEM offered me any help but they were all quite happy to stare! I was trying to awkwardly squat to pick it all up whilst holding my baby, who was crying because he was getting cold. Luckily a staff member walked by and helped me, but all our clothes were absolutely soaked by then 😒

They’ve probably all come across you at some point and no longer offer to help anybody 😂

Ungrateful you are, and I bet you are hard work in all areas

He's now not going to help anyone ever again. Do you really want to live in that type of world

Wow. Just wow.

I’ve a heavy double pram, I appreciate and tbh often rely on the help when getting through tricky double doors. Same with the single pram on and off trains (can’t even attempt the double with that as I can’t physically lift it if there’s a large gap myself) - and I always offer if I see someone with a pram on the train and I don’t have mine.

I remember struggling up some steps with ds in a pram and a suitcase at Victoria, a really kind man all suited up with a brief case swooped in, picked the whole of the pram up and then can back down to help me with the suit case. He was worthy of Jane Austin novel 😂

This is like those men moaning that they can't even talk to a woman these days because they've been asked to stop sexual harassment.

Is it? Can you explain why you think that?

Yea, I once tried helping an elderly woman when her shopping bag split open in the middle of the road. I started gathering the shopping and was met with shrieks, calling me a thief and telling me not to steal her stuff. I'm a woman myself, groomed and well dressed, I don't look like a disheveled crackhead.

This thread also offers various: they feel entitled to help you (wtf), then have no manners to ask, foisting their help on you and 'women don't owe you a smile'. Yea, and nobody owes these women any help. They should remember that when they stand at the bottom of steep stairs with their pram and everyone just keep on walking past. I'd rather not interfere, just incase I inadvertently SLAM someone's baby, god forbid. I'm sure they'll manage to cary those prams up the stairs themselves. Your baby - your problem, happy now?

Ahahaha…. I was enjoying that cup of tea too. Not I’ve snorted some of it out of my nose all over my tablet… !😂😂

I agree people should offer to help or at least gesture before actually touching it.

I also get what other people are saying about it being nice people are willing to help but ultimately it's not helpful if it's unexpected or going to make things more complicated if your mind is focused & suddenly you have "help"

That’s nice would you really just sit there and stare at someone who was trying to console a crying baby whilst trying to gather wet clothes off the floor? I wouldn’t, even before I had my own child.

Perhaps we had different upbringings

Being reminded to ASK before grabbing a pram = well now no one can help anyone!!!!

I never said that though, did I? I said ‘offer to help’ which means…ask.

If this happens all the time, why is it always a surprise?

Use your words, pre-empt unwanted help with a cheery "i don't need help thanks ive got a good technique "!