Would you consider this “having stuffed yourself all day”

[ThatJolly]

I was talking to a friend and she accused me of competitive underrating, which i certainly was not doing! I referred to my eating as having stuffed my face all day and she told me to get a grip and she found what I said triggering!

What I ate:

• Scrambled eggs (2 eggs) with veggies toasted sarnie
• Beans on toast (2 slices)
• Half a carton of precut pineapple
• chicken wings and celery with hot sauce
• a child’s plate of ravioli and homemade cheese sauce (this was on top off my dinner and purely a craving, I was full so it was very much not needed)

I went to bed uncomfortably stuffed. So to me i did “stuff my face all day”

What do you think?

To be fair, OP mentioned that it was a child’s portion as it was her child’s leftover dinner

I read it as one muffin that was strawberry/white chocolate flavoured?

I think many people just find it really tedious when people talk about food, diets and eating constantly.

I have a couple of friends like this who both (imo) have disordered eating and thoughts around food.

They constantly talk about losing weight, how stuffed/bloated/fat they feel after eating a normal meal. They are judgemental about what other people eat as well as judging their own food intake. Using terms like eating ‘crap’ or ‘rubbish’ constantly, saying things like ‘stuffed my face’ and ‘wolfed it down’ and referring to people (sometimes themselves) as greedy, it’s all just annoying after a while. Both are now on weight loss injections and that now gets discussed constantly. They also both have mum’s who were obsessive and judgemental about overeating when they were children and still are to this day. I don’t say any of this to them as I want to be a good friend if this is what they want/need to talk about.

I don’t mind a bit of talk about it but when a constant fuss is made about overeating it gets tedious. I just eat fairly normally, some days eat more, some less, over eat on period days and holidays like most people but I rarely talk about it for any reason because it’s not interesting.

That definitely doesn't equate to stuffing your face all day to me, but it's all subjective. More to the point, your friend said she found your comment triggering, which may be a clue about why she reacted so strongly (most people wouldn't care enough to argue). Has she struggled with food/body image? She might have been creating a conversational opening for you to ask?

Yep! 🥱

This poll is an eye opener for me. I have been told so many times before that I eat too little and my understanding of food is disordered. I voted YANBU and I’m surprised to see I’m in the minority which does make me think maybe I need to actually look at my own attitudes to food. Thanks OP this has actually been really helpful! I was anorexic in my younger years and had many people telling me I seem to be slipping back to it. Suddenly realising they may have a point. not meaning you’re anorexic at all! Just that to me it is about twice what I’ve been eating and I realise maybe it’s not been as healthy as I believed.

Then you are not taking in enough calories, surely? 1600 is the minimum suggested for a woman, and includes women who do not exercise much. 1200 isn't enough. Are you not hungry?
I am more than middle aged. Till my late 40s I could eat several cream cakes, pizza etc and not put on an ounce. Now I can't do that but I also acknowledge that I am not going to be the weight I was in my 20s (a 10 to 12, which now computes as 6 to 8, I think - certainly the waist of the jacket I wore in 1973 is the span of 3 medium oranges! - so between 7 and 8 stone) and will be heavier. I accept this. I wouldn't accept being hungry though I do follow a regime - I don't count calories but I would be hungry on the amount of food OP ate in a day. I'd eat more like a bowl of muesli with cranberries and milk and possibly fruit at breakfast, or 3 boiled eggs or bacon, eggs (fried, scrambled or poached), mushrooms, tomatoes etc, a baked potato and beans/tuna or a bowl of pasta or a rice dish for lunch, a main meal which includes meat with potatoes/pasta or rice, green veg and a dessert, probably a low fat yoghurt, but maybe fruit. No idea how many calories that is (and I have not included milk in tea which will amount to c.250ml a day) but I lose about a pound a week - and I drink alcohol occasionally. Life is for living and food is fun.
Also, I am not into shaming people about how much they eat - but it concerns me there are women going around not eating enough in order to keep a body weight that might no longer be sustainable. I am 5'4" btw and no longer expect to be 8st. I am moderately sedentary, too.

What did she eat to outdo that?!

You ate all that before meeting friend for coffee , hence you weren’t hungry, which is when your friend asked this ? Was it an evening coffee ?? Doesn’t make sense

There is no way I could eat 1600 calories minimum daily. It’s more like 1200, or less. Depends on size too surely - I’m small and couldn’t eat 1600 and more daily. 600 calories is a higher calorie meal in my opinion

“I absolutely stuffed myself”
followed by highlighting you had
”a child’s portion of”

I mean, I would just say “I had some ravioli because I was still peckish after my celery”

The language you used, yes, I can see why she felt the way she did. You keep saying “she asked” and yes, She asked what you ate. After you highlighted how much you had apparently over-eaten. Which I’m guessing she didn’t really believe.

She's eating small amounts of not very interesting food. Below needed calorie intake if what she lists is a sample of what she eats - esp as OP thinks it's a lot.

Sorry, I’m with your friend here -apart from the “triggering” aspect and “competitive undereating” bit (as it’s unfair to be nasty and accuse you of that unless you know she has major food issues or weight problems- especially if she asked what you ate in the first place!).

But to me “Stuffing your face” usually implies eating a large amount of junky, highly processed, often very salty or sweet foods - or I suppose truly massive amounts of any food.

You basically just had the equivalent of 3 more carb heavy meals that day (since you didn’t have any carbs with the chicken and celery but then had a child’s portion of ravioli). It’s not my own thing but 4 slices of bread a day isn’t abnormal- I know a lot of people who have some toast for breakfast and then go on to have a sandwich for lunch.

And it’s not like you also had high calorie snacks or a pudding too - so even with the extra “dinner”, what you ate might be still be around the average 2000 cal a day (depending on your portion sizes) 🤷‍♀️

Clearly you and your friend have different ideas of what constitutes a lot of food and she sounds over sensitive about it. Maybe a topic to avoid in future?

I'd pick something c.600 calories as a low calorie choice in a restaurant, so I tend not to agree on that.

It just depends what people are used to eating doesn't it + their height ect, Cause that amount of food would definetly be stuffing my face to me ( I'm 5'1 and weigh around 8st ) but to my male friend whose 6'2 /16 stone it would probably be a small amount of food

In fairness, I think there will be a percentage of people that aren't voting she is unreasonable for eating what she did, I voted she was unreasonable for being so performative and tedious about "not being hungry" the next day!

She met her friend for lunch the next day and instead of saying she didn't fancy a panini she said she couldn't eat because she absolutely stuffed her face the day before.. her friend, obviously disbelieving she would ever eat so much food, asked her what she actually had, and it turns out she didn't overeat by most peoples standards, she ate three meals, a fruit as a snack and finished off her children's ravioli.. enough to make her feel full going to bed (fair enough) but hardly enough to make her skip lunch the next day too.

In fact she then goes on to say that if there was a tuna salad on offer she would have eaten that.. so she was hungry after all, but chose to make a big song and dance to her friend about not being able to eat for some reason instead.

Agree. More like a normal, or less than normal day. Certainly not a “stuffing yourself all day” day. Throw in a bar of chocolate, half a packet of chocolate digestives and a slice of cake and maybe you can reach “stuffing all day” status.

its too bready for me, I’d feel very bloated. I’m menopausal though. The proteins are up my street though, beans, cheese, eggs, chicken.

“Stuffing my face all day” conjures images of Christmastime food comas in my mind. Do you usually eat far less on an “average” day than the one you’ve described? Everyone has different appetites and habits. It doesn’t seem at all excessive to me. And I’m shorter than you! As long as you were satiated and don’t make a habit of depriving your body of sustenance, I wouldn’t worry too much about it. Horses for courses and all that 😉😊

No that is not stuffing your face. But to claim its "triggering" is pathetic.

1500 cals minus bones is absolutely not stuffing your face. I thought you meant 3000 cals from that phrase.
If you felt you had a brick in your stomach from 1500 cals. That is worrying op.

Wow, how can anyone judge if the OP was stuffed or not? Just because it wouldn't fill them up?!

That amount of food is three days for me.

How many calories do you usually eat in a day?

OP, I eat that amount on the days I work in the office. I walk an hour each way so burn calories and am quite hungry. I'll have breakfast and lunch which will be 4 slices bread in total with something like eggs or cheese. I'll have fruit and nuts throughout the day. Then your two dinners of wings, pasta and cheese would be the equivalent of my dinner. If I'm not snacking on biscuits, chocolate etc I actually lose weight on this amount of calories. I don't see that as stuffing your face for someone who's active.
However, on the days I WFH and am more sedentary, I eat less. I tend to have brunch, snacks then dinner. I'd probably put on a bit of weight if I ate more. A lot depends in your activity levels, metabolism, height etc.