Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think leaving UK is the best Option now

260 replies

LeavinUK · 17/03/2025 10:51

We are thinking of leaving UK now to move to Dubai or USA. We have two young children who are in nursery, not in School yet and one will start school next year.
The reasons are the state of UK. Looking at the state of NHS, the waits are so long if you ever have to go to A&E, you can access better healthcare of you have insurance in any other country. Another reason is the ever increasing tax, we both work full time and I have the potential to earn six figures but I am staying at a flexible job to earn under 6 figures and I am forced to not get a promotion or switching to High paying jobs by the fact that I won't be eligible for 30 funded hours of Childcare which I I think is very unfair on hard working people who want to progress in career while having young children. UK doesn't feels like a family friendly country overall.
We also don't feel safe now going out to city centre etc which have become a ghost town and so much of illegal immigrants loitering around and so much increase in crimes.
Our friends who moved to Dubai are able to afford full time house help, nanny and a driver while earning similar to ourselves. While, here we are struggling with young kids and paying huge taxes. I have family in USA who are earning big bucks and paying much less taxes and being able to save and invest better for retirement while we will be working till 68 potentially 70 which is totally insane.
AIBU to feel leaving UK is the best option now and have you made a move or considering moving?

OP posts:
ScarlettOYara · 17/03/2025 11:39

Boopear · 17/03/2025 11:27

Sorry, I really can’t believe that you earn to 6 figures. Even in tech which still needs a reasonable level of articulation. It is ‘illusion’ not delusion. Their not there. Are you a native English speaker?

Yes, it doesn't really add up. Plus she lives in the West Midlands where they house asylum seekers, yet there are some beautiful places in that area with no social problems, if that's her issue.

Swiftie1878 · 17/03/2025 11:39

From your posts, you don’t sound like a UK national. Where are you from? Could you go back there? Familiarity will be more secure than somewhere totally new, surely? That’d be my concern with young children.

Itsanewnameeveryday · 17/03/2025 11:40

I know health care is not the only reason you want to move but if you were in true emergency, you would receive good care via the NHS.
In Australia, private emergency care is not covered by insurance and if it’s a serious accident, you’ll get taken to the public hospital anyway as private hospitals don’t have the depth of expertise to deal with a very serious problem.
Just like in the UK, private health care in Australia is touted as better but when you actually check the patient outcomes (which can be accurately measured and compared) they’re worse than in most public teaching hospitals.
I would hazard a guess that the culture in Dubai, the fact that many staff are imported and that the number of nurses per patient is high, would indicate that the outcomes would be variable.
The true measure of health care is not patient satisfaction, wait times or the quality of the food, it’s life expectancy which is actually lower in Dubai than Australia and the UK.

Fountains · 17/03/2025 11:40

DaffodilsGalore · 17/03/2025 11:39

@LeavinUK peoole arriving in boats are not illegal immigrants. Theyre asylum seekers. Which is the only legal route to get asylum.

Illegal immigrants are people who came to the U.K. on a tourist visa and stayed. Those who didn’t renew their visa (or it was rejected), over stay etc etc.
These are illegal immigrants.

And they’re certainly not being house by the government.

Bubblesgun · 17/03/2025 11:40

LeavinUK · 17/03/2025 11:11

Every country has there own challenges but the government should try to actively tackle issues like healthcare, crime, education etc with the ever increasing taxes. Moreover, about Dubai, they are very strict with crimes and about house keepers and nanny, they are paid employees and not slaves, it's absolutely ridiculous thing to suggest, there's a min wage there and there are rules around employment.

Well what you say is inly partly true. And whilst employees are not slave, you need to research where they live and how they fair in this “minimum wage”. It hardly covering the basics.
my friend who was living in Abbu Dhabi paid a lot more so her help could have a decent lifestyle and send money back home.

the other you must understand, unless you get an expat contract that covers housing, school fees and healthcare in both Dubai and the USA (but especially Dubai) you will need to earn shit loads to cover what you think your lifestyle will be.

delusional is a word that comes to my mind when I think about your plans. You have done 0 research of you think you ll earn enough to cover that lifestyle even in tech.

but good luck to you. I would love to be proven wrong. If you think the grass is greeener there, then I hope you will be successful in relocating - genuinely

DaffodilsGalore · 17/03/2025 11:41

Btw the level of immigration in Dubai is about 90%.
Is that ok with you to move to a country with such high level of immigration?

Bigwelshlamb · 17/03/2025 11:41

LeavinUK · 17/03/2025 10:56

We like Dubai due to more sunshine and be able to afford house help and nanny plus the growing career prospects.

By which you mean paying slave rate wages... Just get private health care and a grip.

autumn1610 · 17/03/2025 11:42

i work for an American company in the UK and I can’t believe the stuff they get away with over there. We get about double there leave I think they have 14days which is pretty good for US standards. We have sick pay, they don’t, we have maternity packages they don’t. They can pretty much make you redundant on the spot…one of the directors came over and tried it here absolute shit show as didn’t follow uk procedures and I’ve heard about multiple people being let go and to not come back tomorrow. They work crazy hours and are expected to, their work life balance seems so off compared to ours even though we are the same company. Could not pay me to go work over there!

DaffodilsGalore · 17/03/2025 11:44

@autumn1610 yep.

dh works for an American company. Some of his team are in the US.
he was recently tasked to tell one of the team member Theyre been fired. The person has ONE HOUR to grab their stuff and leave the office. That was it.

Odras · 17/03/2025 11:45

LeavinUK · 17/03/2025 11:34

Many posters are mocking me when I stated about dodgy looking men who are illegal immigrants. Two of the biggest hotels in our city centre have been used by home office to house the illegal immigrants coming on boats. This was in the news and has been opposed by residents but councils aren't able to do anything. Now, you see most of them hanging around in the city centre. This is in west midlands. You can mock people for stating the truth until it comes at your doorstep.

Edited

Illegal immigrants are not housed. They are illegal. Living under the radar.

Are people who claimed asylum living in hotels in your city center?

You might like to be an immigrant in Dubai actually. They don’t have refugees and you can hire people from these countries to work in your home for low wages and few rights? It’s a great standard of living.

Badbadbunny · 17/03/2025 11:46

Davros · 17/03/2025 10:59

Have you actually experienced problems with the NHS? I have very varied and extensive experience of the NHS and overall I find it brilliant. I live very near a big London teaching hospital, lucky me, but I have relatives and friends in other areas who also have varied and good experiences. I think a lot of the reports about the NHS are media nonsense. I understand that there are problems, nothing is perfect, but that’s all we ever hear about. As a PP said, why not get private healthcare here? Then you’ve got a proper comparison.

We've had universally poor experiences almost every time we've needed the NHS.

They killed my MIL by leaving her with double pneumonia on a trolley in an A&E corridor over this last New Years' Day.

My OH has cancer, and has been on his current chemotherapy drug treatment for four years - never once has his drugs been ready on the monthly start day, he's constantly had his blood tests cancelled, likewise his monthly infusions, the consultant hasn't a clue when he started his current round of monthly chemo - because the oncology dept is a shambles, sometimes it can be 7-10 days late before he gets the drugs, which pushes that month back, which fouls up the following month, etc., and their admin team simply aren't capable of moving all subsequent appointments/start dates back the corresponding number of days, so the next month is a foul up too!

In 2010, the NHS finally killed my father after about four years of misdiagnoses, languishing in various hospital wards clearly with the doctors just waiting for him to die because there was no urgency or any idea at all as to why he was deteriorating, nor did they seem to care. First time was a simple bowel blockage, but it took six months for them to diagnose the blatantly obvious, over which time he turned from a fit and healthy 60+ year old to a frail bed ridden shadow of his former self. It took him a year to recover after they finally operated, and then he started with lots of other symptoms which the GPs fobbed him off with. A year after he was going downhill again, he collapsed, blue lighted to hospital, where they diagnosed cancer. Weeks/months languishing in hospital wards again whilst they did tests, numerous consultants, all saying he needed an operation to remove the tumour, but never actually doing it. Lots of "booked" operations, constantly cancelled. It was probably 6-9 months before they operated, and of course, afterwards they said it had been too late - lots of shrugged shoulders, but they really didn't care that they'd effectively killed him with their delays, cancellations and dithering.

They killed my MIL in 2008 after another misdiagnosis - again GPs completely failed to diagnose cancer despite numerous consultations with serious symptoms pointing to cancer. Again, only diagnosed after being blue lighted to A&E after collapsing, and again, weeks and months of delays before they actually did anything.

It's really not fit for purpose. Cancer treatment in our area is particularly crap. Both in terms of GP surgeries not diagnosing it and then in terms of an utterly disorganised and chaotic oncology department.

SallyWD · 17/03/2025 11:49

Wow. I'm not saying there arent problems here. There are plenty. We've all seen the country decline (by the way, I'm not talking about immigration here). But to imagine that life in America would be better is just absurd!! First of all, look at who they voted in and what a complete shit show they've become. They've lost the respect of the rest of the world.
Politics aside - their health care is horrendous. I had a particular type of cancer so joined a support group on Facebook. 99% of members are American. Many have good health insurance yet experience endless problems with their health care. Insurance companies frequently refusing to pay for scans or treatment. They constantly seem to be battling the insurance company it's which is the last thing they need when ill with cancer. It's hugely stressful. Whilst I sailed through my cancer diagnosis and treatment here, their experiences have been a nightmare.
Uk's not family friendly and America is?? They have barely any maternity leave, barely any annual leave, a culture of long working hours and being wage slaves. Social security is being cut right back so heaving forbid you ever find yourself disabled or on long term sick. Yes you'll get paid more. Great.

Badbadbunny · 17/03/2025 11:50

@Itsanewnameeveryday

I know health care is not the only reason you want to move but if you were in true emergency, you would receive good care via the NHS.

Bullshit. My MIL was blue lighted on New Years Eve and spent 48 hours on a trolley in a corridor alongside A&E, being completely ignored. She had double pneumonia, SATS of 85, and was gasping for breath. It took lots of hassle of us begging for help for them even to give her an oxygen mask. She was basically ignored. One of us had to stay with her all day and all night to give her water, food and take her to the loo - the staff ignored her. It was two days later that she was finally given IV fluids and IV antibiotics and she died a few hours after finally being moved to a ward.

So, no, it's absolute bullshit to say that you'd receive good NHS care in an emergency!

suburberphobe · 17/03/2025 11:52

OP, I have friends who used to live in Dubai. They kept on their flat in London and spent the summer months there because it is too unbearably hot then in Dubai.

LeavinUK · 17/03/2025 11:54

I love our NHS and the staff work really really hard to provide the best care they can in the means they have. But, the A&E waiting times were so long when we visited last year with young DC.
UK is a great country but the public services are getting worse every year and the taxes are only going up so I feel we are not getting much value for the high taxes we are paying.

OP posts:
MrsSkylerWhite · 17/03/2025 11:54

DaffodilsGalore · Today 11:41

Btw the level of immigration in Dubai is about 90%.
Is that ok with you to move to a country with such high level of immigration?

I expect lots are white. Do you not understand? White people choosing to live overseas aren’t immigrants. They’re “ex-pats”. They don’t need to assimilate, either. Just build big walls and gates around their accommodation and shout loudly.

Davros · 17/03/2025 11:56

@Badbadbunnyi’m very sorry to hear all of that and I don’t doubt anything you say. It isn’t the experience I have had or my family or friends. Maybe it shows just how different it is depending on the area one lives in, which is not how it should be

LeavinUK · 17/03/2025 11:56

MrsSkylerWhite · 17/03/2025 11:54

DaffodilsGalore · Today 11:41

Btw the level of immigration in Dubai is about 90%.
Is that ok with you to move to a country with such high level of immigration?

I expect lots are white. Do you not understand? White people choosing to live overseas aren’t immigrants. They’re “ex-pats”. They don’t need to assimilate, either. Just build big walls and gates around their accommodation and shout loudly.

Don't you think it's racist to talk like that about white people? Why do you think you can say anything racist about white people and that's okay?

OP posts:
DisneyTokyoNewbie · 17/03/2025 11:57

MrsSkylerWhite · 17/03/2025 11:54

DaffodilsGalore · Today 11:41

Btw the level of immigration in Dubai is about 90%.
Is that ok with you to move to a country with such high level of immigration?

I expect lots are white. Do you not understand? White people choosing to live overseas aren’t immigrants. They’re “ex-pats”. They don’t need to assimilate, either. Just build big walls and gates around their accommodation and shout loudly.

85 percent of ex-pats living in Dubai are from Asia.

ScarlettOYara · 17/03/2025 11:57

LeavinUK · 17/03/2025 11:56

Don't you think it's racist to talk like that about white people? Why do you think you can say anything racist about white people and that's okay?

Why is her post racist? I don't understand?

ScarlettOYara · 17/03/2025 11:58

Davros · 17/03/2025 11:56

@Badbadbunnyi’m very sorry to hear all of that and I don’t doubt anything you say. It isn’t the experience I have had or my family or friends. Maybe it shows just how different it is depending on the area one lives in, which is not how it should be

Yes, it must be area dependent. I think my family have been very lucky.

Fountains · 17/03/2025 11:59

LeavinUK · 17/03/2025 11:56

Don't you think it's racist to talk like that about white people? Why do you think you can say anything racist about white people and that's okay?

Ok, I’m calling deliberate wind-up on this one. No one is this dense.

MrsSkylerWhite · 17/03/2025 12:00

LeavinUK
**
Don't you think it's racist to talk like that about white people? Why do you think you can say anything racist about white people and that's okay?

No I don’t. Personal experience over decades of travelling widely amongst wealthy white British people (which I am).

LeavinUK · 17/03/2025 12:00

If anyone enters any country bypassing their immigration rules and laws, then they are called illegal immigrants. I will be getting a job and proper visa to move to USA or Dubai, hence it's not the same.

OP posts:
MrsSkylerWhite · 17/03/2025 12:01

85 percent of ex-pats living in Dubai are from Asia.

Fair enough.

Swipe left for the next trending thread