The neighbour and the EV charger

[Alittlebit9]

DH has an electric car, and had a charger installed at home on Friday. It cost him £1200.

Today, neighbour (who we are fairly friendly with, in a neighbourly way) has messaged me to ask if we would mind if they used it from time to time. I think she’s being a CF and this will be a slippery slope. Plus it’s on our driveway so we would have to move our cars. Also, I know it isn’t expensive but it’s going onto our bill.

YABU - let them use the charger
YANBU - they need to get their own

Or make up some BS - your insurer said no, or similar.

Then I guess you'll have to stop warning her when there will be noise. Otherwise your tree man could "just cut down one or two of the branches in her garden too". Or your cleaner could "just"......On your bill, obviously.

But saying no may be a problem - if you want a half decent relationship afterwards.

@anothernameanotherplanet don't be so wet. Such a doormat thing to say. Of course she can say no - and if the CF doesn't like it, fucking tough! She is taking the piss even asking!

Thanks everyone. I ended up saying we would be using it overnight, and it’s too expensive in the day, but gave them the details of the people who installed it 😬 I def find it awkward saying no.

If you have the app you can set it so it’s locked so even if she tried to access it she can’t

She's welcome to use it as long as (a) she pays you for the leccy and (b) does not inconvenience you in any way.

If that won't work the a flat No is not unreasonable.

You have to admire her brassed-necked cheek OP ! 😁

You set your boundaries and that is great. If she says “oh go on” do stick to no. I stick to no by starting my sentence with a No. I don’t say sorry. I say no first. It works every time. You’ve got the tough part out of the way and then just keep repeating it.

Most EV owners apply for an EV tariff from their supplier. It gives you lower prices overnight. If you aren’t on that tariff then you would expect to see higher rates.

I'm old but a habitual and lifelong people pleaser.

When I was ...not so old, I saw a response to a situation from another person and chose to adopt it and it has worked really well for me ever since.

It's to answer immediately with something like, "Good God no, I wouldn't consider that!" or "Not a chance!"

It's amazing how it gets people immediately in their place.

My first outing with this was when we bought a caravan to live in while we had a load of work done on the house but my sister, who has spent her entire life getting what she wants, when she wants it, said that she would borrow it for a holiday with her kids before we moved into it.

Sister has a long history of borrowing stuff, breaking it or allowing it to become utterly ruined and handing it back in that state without even having the good grace to explain or, not even giving stuff back at all.

I said the former, above and, for the first time in her life, she actually stopped in her tracks, asked again and I said, "No. I've seen what things look like after you have used them and we have to live in that caravan."

I have been NC with her for nearly 20 years now over stuff far worse than her destroying mine and other peoples property but I was amazed at how well the immediate and affronted response worked on her and I have used it many times since with CF's.

Electrician here, we can in such circumstances do clever things with credit meters and RF ID cards, had a similar situation on a pair of terraces, the neighbours decided to do one charger between the two. It attached to one houses supply, then using switching via ID cards we fed via two credit meters meaning the owners could work out their exact usage.

This still requires trust however, in your case OP, just say no, as you have. The other complication if one party charges their car on another's drive, if the car catches fire (which they can on rare occasions) it complicates the insurance situation.

My view, despite my line of work, is that electricity is a rubbish way to power a car, its fine for trains and trams, but they don't carry the power source on board. petrol is far better.

What did she say?

The OP doesn’t need an electrician explaining anything, if she doesn’t want the neighbours using her charger she can just say no!

Can you lock them or turn them off?

If they don't want to get a proper charger, they can use a 3-pin plug, on their own drive.

Yes, its only 1/3 the speed, but they cannuse their drive 24/7, you wouldn't want them on your drive 8hrs plus per day.

It was the breezy way she asked, it made me feel like I was being harsh saying no!

No doubt that was the intention and you'd have got the same breezy attitude if you objected to the "now and then" becoming all the time: "Oh, I thought you didn't mind!"

Anyway you've done the right thing in simply sending the info on who did yours (and no doubt saved yourself from others on the street seizing the same idea)

Of course if teh country were serious about EVs (it's not) then this thread wouldn't exist.

I would either get a lock for it, or turn it off at the fuse box, better safe than sorry, saw a massive hissy fit once over a pair next door charging at a house just up the road, while the charger owners were at work.

@Alittlebit9 what was the neighbour’s response?

This is a shocking request and typical of one of the great self entitled. Tell her to go and get one fitted herself as she has an electric car. You can deliver these words with a sickly sweet smile and keep repeating the same sentence. People eventually get fed up.

No!😰

This😊

Say no obviously! But if you'd struggle to say no like I would because I'm a people pleaser, say your insurance explicitly states you will not be covered for use other than your own car.

In this case they checked the bill online, and demanded £50 or they would call the police. Then they locked the charger.

I know. Not sure why you're telling me. I don't have an EV.