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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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6
InALonelyWorld · 16/03/2025 19:59

I am torn on this subject. Regardless of how they try and tackle the issues, it's the people who actually need the help that are going to be affected the most.
There are too many people playing the benefits system and I agree that something needs to be done to make this harder. But on the other hand too many people who actually need these benefits struggle to actually get them so why should it be even harder for those too.

I think all of the health services need an overhaul and more people in the newer generations need better resilience because I don't think that throwing around a MH/medical diagnosis for everything is helping actually society.

FumingTRex · 16/03/2025 20:00

I dont think its over diagnosed, try getting a bed on a mental health inpatient ward - its very hard, so you end up with people discharged to the community who shouldn’t really be there.

I think what he really means is that too many people are not working due to mental health conditions, i partly agree with that, but i also think our work culture is to blame . Most people i know work crazy hours, with lots of unpaid overtime, even in low paid roles. I left my job due to the impact on my mental health - the pressure, the expectation that i would cover multiple vacant roles - it was just too much. Im not on benefits, but its a loss to the economy that im now working few hours not using my specialist skills.

Everythingisnumbersnow · 16/03/2025 20:01

OutsideLookingOut · 16/03/2025 19:51

Sometimes I think there should be an option to let people out of life. There has always been an expectation that you should do x and y as that is the correct way to live your life (for society and your own happiness) but now we are more cynical. For one, religion isn't a big thing, though it was a great tool to control people and make them think they should live their lives a certain way/not end their own lives. Secondly we can see how other people live and hear the experiences of others which dispels the notion that there is any one path to happiness or that it, or even contentment can even be achieved.

For many of us living just doesn't seem worth it. I wonder what the point is in being resilient so I can make money for stakeholders and live a life I have no enjoyment in? Doesn't make sense right?

I agree with this. If it were a mainstream option I'd definitely have gone for it 25 years ago and while I've done some interesting things since I wouldn't have minded opting out. Now my parents are old and it's likely the economy will get REALLY bad in the next few years and I just think... Can I skip out please? In a way that won't upset anyone else or cost them a dime.

DBSFstupid · 16/03/2025 20:02

I agree with him and I'm someone that has suffered from severe depression for decades. Sometimes I'm in a desperate state and feel that I can't get the help anymore and I get frightened. MH issues have become so normalised that everyone and his dog has them. What this culture has done has stopped the very people that need the help getting it and getting it quickly and from the correct source.

Everythingisnumbersnow · 16/03/2025 20:02

DBSFstupid · 16/03/2025 20:02

I agree with him and I'm someone that has suffered from severe depression for decades. Sometimes I'm in a desperate state and feel that I can't get the help anymore and I get frightened. MH issues have become so normalised that everyone and his dog has them. What this culture has done has stopped the very people that need the help getting it and getting it quickly and from the correct source.

So you think your suffering must be special and unique? How can you tell?

DBSFstupid · 16/03/2025 20:03

Everythingisnumbersnow · 16/03/2025 20:02

So you think your suffering must be special and unique? How can you tell?

No I don't. What a horrid thing to say. Thanks.

NapT1me · 16/03/2025 20:04

soupyspoon · 16/03/2025 19:58

They are where I work, professionals are becoming more and more vocal about it in multi agency meetings when talking about childrens presenting behaviours and needs. On more than one occasion psychiatrists who have diagnosed children many years ago and seen them grow older have talked about how they may not have made that diagnosis now for them and are not sure if that is considered accurate.

Not where I work, more professionals recognising how debilitating both conditions are and feeling like shit because there aren’t the resources to support patients .There has been discussion about the anti ND tribe in the media trying to infer it’s over diagnosed and frustration at how better diagnosis( often for women and girls) is being decried.

Everythingisnumbersnow · 16/03/2025 20:04

DBSFstupid · 16/03/2025 20:03

No I don't. What a horrid thing to say. Thanks.

You said you've suffered badly but now "everyone and his dog" says the same. Why are you so sure they aren't suffering too?

sweetgingercat · 16/03/2025 20:05

If Streeting thinks this, it would be important to research and understand why. It's much too simple and frankly unhelpful to say it's an over diagnosis. For example, if the incidence of autism has increased, claiming it's over diagnosed might suppress other relevant factors, such as the effect of increasing maternal age, which could be reversed or researched further.

So Streeting would have to initiate a research project that looked at all the diagnoses that have been made within a timeline and then work out whether they followed or departed from diagnostic guidelines. The researchers would also have to reassess the patient and see whether the diagnosis was correct or not.

The impact of national issues on mental health, such as covid or the cost of living crisis would also need to be evaluated.

Has he done this? I don't think so. He's talking out of his backside.

claretblue79 · 16/03/2025 20:05

@lavenderlou Great post, completely agree. It makes me feel dejected seeing all of these dismissive posts. Plenty of money for bombs and bullets but not enough to support vulnerable people. Just because you have had experience of poor mental health does not mean that you have a right to judge how others cope. Everyone is different. I just feel thankful that I know people who have more compassion and understanding. I haven’t voted for Labour since Starmer was leader and won’t again so long as he is in charge.

DaffodilsGalore · 16/03/2025 20:06

DBSFstupid · 16/03/2025 20:03

No I don't. What a horrid thing to say. Thanks.

And it’s fair enough for you to struggle with not getting the care you need.

But your beef should be with the government not funding the MH sector. Not other sufferers.

soupyspoon · 16/03/2025 20:06

FumingTRex · 16/03/2025 20:00

I dont think its over diagnosed, try getting a bed on a mental health inpatient ward - its very hard, so you end up with people discharged to the community who shouldn’t really be there.

I think what he really means is that too many people are not working due to mental health conditions, i partly agree with that, but i also think our work culture is to blame . Most people i know work crazy hours, with lots of unpaid overtime, even in low paid roles. I left my job due to the impact on my mental health - the pressure, the expectation that i would cover multiple vacant roles - it was just too much. Im not on benefits, but its a loss to the economy that im now working few hours not using my specialist skills.

I dont think anyone is talking about people who are actively ill and in times when there were better resources would have absolutely been detained but simply are not now due to lack of beds as you say

I personally am talking about what is referred to as the 'worried well' and the pathologising of normal human uncomfortable emotions and difficulties that we all experience to one degree or another. I suspect most posters are.

And like you say whether someone's poor MH is actually a barrier to work or not is a difficult thing to say.

Everythingisnumbersnow · 16/03/2025 20:06

claretblue79 · 16/03/2025 20:05

@lavenderlou Great post, completely agree. It makes me feel dejected seeing all of these dismissive posts. Plenty of money for bombs and bullets but not enough to support vulnerable people. Just because you have had experience of poor mental health does not mean that you have a right to judge how others cope. Everyone is different. I just feel thankful that I know people who have more compassion and understanding. I haven’t voted for Labour since Starmer was leader and won’t again so long as he is in charge.

Yeah I thought he was all right (had some good natured disagreements with pals about it) but they were right and boy was I wrong.

EasternStandard · 16/03/2025 20:09

Op if you agree with Streeting on over diagnosis do you also agree welfare funding should be cut?

whippy1981 · 16/03/2025 20:09

Newgirls · 16/03/2025 15:17

Hmmm I think very few people are probably ‘neurotypical’ so perhaps we are too quick to diagnose compared to the past.

I don't think that NT exists.

MyUmberSeal · 16/03/2025 20:09

At the risk of being shot down, is anyone actually just a bog standard person anymore?! As in no neuro diverse condition, mental health complaint, eats peanuts, not gluten intolerant, and can get through a day at work/school without having a breakdown.

I’m being facetious, of course, but it really does feel like it’s all so fucked up now.

Bobbybobbins · 16/03/2025 20:12

I’m a secondary teacher and find it’s such a delicate balance between encouraging some resilience and acceptance that it is ok to feel stressed but we have to work through these feelings sometimes but then try to identify and support those with genuine and often deep-seated MH needs. We are very lucky to have a school counsellor.

DBSFstupid · 16/03/2025 20:14

DaffodilsGalore · 16/03/2025 20:06

And it’s fair enough for you to struggle with not getting the care you need.

But your beef should be with the government not funding the MH sector. Not other sufferers.

It's every government in the last 30 years.

My 'beef' is with a culture that says MH is a reason for everything when in fact life is not always a bed of roses and the nature of life is to have struggles.
I'm talking about severe depression.

NapT1me · 16/03/2025 20:16

Will be interesting if Wes Streeting will be putting his money where his mouth is and reducing the use of medication. After all if everybody is over diagnosed then there is an over use of medication.

Everythingisnumbersnow · 16/03/2025 20:16

DBSFstupid · 16/03/2025 20:14

It's every government in the last 30 years.

My 'beef' is with a culture that says MH is a reason for everything when in fact life is not always a bed of roses and the nature of life is to have struggles.
I'm talking about severe depression.

But you are not qualified to dismiss other people's psychological discomfort just because you react in one way and they in another. This isn't misery top trumps. It's shit you can't access healthcare (hello me neither) but that's not the fault of other patients.

DBSFstupid · 16/03/2025 20:18

!00%

You will get shot down on here but plenty of people agree with you and know not to say it on here as they will get loads of shit. People are silenced on here. ( sorry I was agreeing with a previous poster but did not quote)

marshmallowmix · 16/03/2025 20:19

Livelovebehappy · 16/03/2025 15:57

Not always coping with things, mentally, is normal. Learning to be resilient is the way to go. Not everyone is nice. Not all situations are pleasant. Learning how to cope with these feelings should be the way to deal with it, not getting a sick note from your GP every six weeks, with you languishing at home in the meantime with no in place support. GPS should be educated to not give out notes like sweets, just on the demand and ask of their patients. More MH therapists should be trained, who could be based in surgeries. Therapy and advice on how to cope with MH issues is going to be far more helpful and produce better results long term than just signing a bit of paper and throwing benefits at someone.

Exactly couldn’t agree more…

soupyspoon · 16/03/2025 20:20

NapT1me · 16/03/2025 20:04

Not where I work, more professionals recognising how debilitating both conditions are and feeling like shit because there aren’t the resources to support patients .There has been discussion about the anti ND tribe in the media trying to infer it’s over diagnosed and frustration at how better diagnosis( often for women and girls) is being decried.

Yes we have the same conversations abut lack of resources, wait times for support, support not being put in, waiting times for diagnosis, often requiring thousands to be spent on private assessment because CAMHS are just taking too long

But it also involves discussion for other children who perhaps whose parents or carers are driven and focused on the child having ND when actually the professionals around them are voicing caution and the traits from trauma overlapping ND traits and needs. Also discussions about how unhelpful the lack of differentiation between severity types there, discussions about threshold and criteria. No one views anyone as being 'anti ND' whatever that means.

DaffodilsGalore · 16/03/2025 20:21

soupyspoon · 16/03/2025 20:06

I dont think anyone is talking about people who are actively ill and in times when there were better resources would have absolutely been detained but simply are not now due to lack of beds as you say

I personally am talking about what is referred to as the 'worried well' and the pathologising of normal human uncomfortable emotions and difficulties that we all experience to one degree or another. I suspect most posters are.

And like you say whether someone's poor MH is actually a barrier to work or not is a difficult thing to say.

My experience of being a ‘worried well’ is that there was always an explanation that no one had bothered to test before. No test = no diagnosis = you’re well.
Because the assumption was ‘worried well’….

Not the flex you think it is.

NapT1me · 16/03/2025 20:21

soupyspoon · 16/03/2025 20:20

Yes we have the same conversations abut lack of resources, wait times for support, support not being put in, waiting times for diagnosis, often requiring thousands to be spent on private assessment because CAMHS are just taking too long

But it also involves discussion for other children who perhaps whose parents or carers are driven and focused on the child having ND when actually the professionals around them are voicing caution and the traits from trauma overlapping ND traits and needs. Also discussions about how unhelpful the lack of differentiation between severity types there, discussions about threshold and criteria. No one views anyone as being 'anti ND' whatever that means.

We see the opposite. Parents who very much don’t want a diagnosis and are often resistant to one.