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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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6
Marmalade777 · 17/03/2025 20:16

D23456789 · 17/03/2025 19:40

There has been growing awareness of ND and its a positive thing that people are coming forward for assessment. To struggle all your life without knowing why and then to find you are ND can help someone access medication or other strategies to help themselves live a better life. This can then help alleviate the distressing consequences of unsupported or unmedicated ADHD for example, which research has shown to have wider economic consequences for society. It is also incorrect to assume that they are not genuinely unwell as ND can co-occur with other physical health and mental health difficulties. My relative with ADHD has hypermobility syndrome which seriously affects their mobility, digestive system etc. I'm surprised that as a nurse, you are not aware of this.

Edited

With respect, I'm a very experienced advanced mental health nurse with decades of practice. I am well capable of identifying genuine ND...and equally adept at recognising when someone definitely is not ND or otherwise mentally unwell. These are the people I was referring to.

CompleteUninspiredNameChange · 17/03/2025 20:21

Freud2 · 17/03/2025 18:30

I've been a counsellor for 35 years and the biggest scandal seems to be with PIP for mental health issues. Many patients I've seen are working full time often commuting every day and earning an above average wage yet still getting up to £700 per month supposedly to help them be independent! It is easy to exaggerate your symptoms on the often online form. So many claiming that come to me have mild anxiety. Obviously people with physical disabilities often need money for help with living but I really don't understand why the government doesn't stop PIP for mental issues especially when they're almost certainly getting other benefits as well. Surely unless you have a severe mental disorder you really don't need extra money.

But then are they using their PIP to pay for private counselling?

satsumaqueen · 17/03/2025 20:21

Tiredalwaystired · 17/03/2025 19:17

Label them or not - they will still have the same challenges.

The label can be really helpful with helping a child understand themselves and why they are how they are; thirty years ago they would have just been told they were weird or too much or over dramatic. At least they now have better knowledge of the neurological reasons behind their behaviours and strategies that can help.

Edited

It would be interesting to know how many of those children from 30 years ago are not in work though. I do think getting diagnosis is important but it does seem since that has been more commonplace, we are suddenly in a situation where a whole generation of young adults are now seemingly unable to cope with life and be a productive member of society. Are we pandering too much to their ‘mental health’ which in turn is having the opposite effect of allowing them to learn any coping strategies that children of the past had no choice but to do.

Marmalade777 · 17/03/2025 20:22

NapT1me · 17/03/2025 19:39

Um maybe it’s because those with autism, adhd etc have a higher prevalence of mental illness. Nice to see the people paid to help such people are so scathing. You’re not really qualified to diagnose. We went to the GP first with my children, weren’t much help. Turns out we were right.

As I replied to another poster, I am a very experienced advanced MH nurse with decades of experience (and, infact, I am qualified to assess and diagnose ND conditions). I can and do recognise ND and other MH conditions, but I was referring to people who have no symptomology or history of these conditions, and have absolutely no limitations on everyday life, but demand a diagnosis regardless.

Thanks for your charming judgement of be BTW.

NapT1me · 17/03/2025 20:31

Marmalade777 · 17/03/2025 20:22

As I replied to another poster, I am a very experienced advanced MH nurse with decades of experience (and, infact, I am qualified to assess and diagnose ND conditions). I can and do recognise ND and other MH conditions, but I was referring to people who have no symptomology or history of these conditions, and have absolutely no limitations on everyday life, but demand a diagnosis regardless.

Thanks for your charming judgement of be BTW.

Lots of ND people mask, don’t present with symptomology and also don’t share their entire history. If you are indeed a diagnostician you should be well aware that a quick appointment with a MH nurse does not a diagnosis make or even a knowledgable summary.

DBSFstupid · 17/03/2025 20:37

Gloriia · 17/03/2025 19:36

Totally agree.

Absolutely.

Tiredalwaystired · 17/03/2025 20:46

satsumaqueen · 17/03/2025 20:21

It would be interesting to know how many of those children from 30 years ago are not in work though. I do think getting diagnosis is important but it does seem since that has been more commonplace, we are suddenly in a situation where a whole generation of young adults are now seemingly unable to cope with life and be a productive member of society. Are we pandering too much to their ‘mental health’ which in turn is having the opposite effect of allowing them to learn any coping strategies that children of the past had no choice but to do.

I very mich imagine the children of the past WERENT coping. It just all went on behind closed doors.

DBSFstupid · 17/03/2025 20:47

Marmalade777 · 17/03/2025 20:22

As I replied to another poster, I am a very experienced advanced MH nurse with decades of experience (and, infact, I am qualified to assess and diagnose ND conditions). I can and do recognise ND and other MH conditions, but I was referring to people who have no symptomology or history of these conditions, and have absolutely no limitations on everyday life, but demand a diagnosis regardless.

Thanks for your charming judgement of be BTW.

These poster was rude to me earlier too. Her anger is making her aggressive and her comments are distasteful.

soupyspoon · 17/03/2025 20:53

NapT1me · 17/03/2025 08:22

Really, how do? Repeated suicidal idealisation is very much tied up with MH and people do get treatment and medication for it. Of course there is a role for CAMHs and they do play a role and there are MH disorders and diagnoses for it.

Tell CAMHS that!!!

Lost20211 · 17/03/2025 20:53

D23456789 · 17/03/2025 18:47

Agree; they don't and professional counsellors would not make judgements like that. If they did, I would hope they would take it to supervision or the very least reflect on why they hold such obvious bias.

Not every counsellor is reputable. I believe counselling is not a regulated profession, so anyone can set themselves up as a counsellor, even without qualifications.

NapT1me · 17/03/2025 20:56

DBSFstupid · 17/03/2025 20:47

These poster was rude to me earlier too. Her anger is making her aggressive and her comments are distasteful.

Oh really but the sheer unpleasantness and downright ableism shown towards disabled and struggling people is ok.

DBSFstupid · 17/03/2025 20:59

NapT1me · 17/03/2025 20:56

Oh really but the sheer unpleasantness and downright ableism shown towards disabled and struggling people is ok.

You are way OTT and need to reign it in with your anger. You are making huge generalisations and I won't be giving you the time of day. Really quite unpleasant.

satsumaqueen · 17/03/2025 20:59

Tiredalwaystired · 17/03/2025 20:46

I very mich imagine the children of the past WERENT coping. It just all went on behind closed doors.

But that wasn’t the point of my post. The point was to say it would be interesting to know how many of those children from 30 years ago despite not having a diagnosis went on to being a productive member of society, in comparison to young people today who seem to use their diagnosis as a reason not to work.

Gloriia · 17/03/2025 21:00

NapT1me · 17/03/2025 20:56

Oh really but the sheer unpleasantness and downright ableism shown towards disabled and struggling people is ok.

Many of us will have disabled family and friends that is why we are so frustrated at the soaring pip claims!

You know the stress this is causing many people wirh significant physical and mental illnesses don't you yet you're marching around shouting bullshit and nonsense to those of us who are pointing it out.

NapT1me · 17/03/2025 21:07

Gloriia · 17/03/2025 21:00

Many of us will have disabled family and friends that is why we are so frustrated at the soaring pip claims!

You know the stress this is causing many people wirh significant physical and mental illnesses don't you yet you're marching around shouting bullshit and nonsense to those of us who are pointing it out.

Oh so now blaming disabled people receiving PIP for the stress being piled on to them by the likes of you,the media and the government- gas lighting in its most extreme form!

NapT1me · 17/03/2025 21:09

DBSFstupid · 17/03/2025 20:59

You are way OTT and need to reign it in with your anger. You are making huge generalisations and I won't be giving you the time of day. Really quite unpleasant.

Don’t then, I don’t have to do anything and I will stand up for the ND community and those struggling with MH. As for huge generalisations!!!!!🤣

Gloriia · 17/03/2025 21:13

NapT1me · 17/03/2025 21:07

Oh so now blaming disabled people receiving PIP for the stress being piled on to them by the likes of you,the media and the government- gas lighting in its most extreme form!

No, I'm blaming those who have mild illnesses who claim pip. That is why it is being rehashed because claims have gone up by a third due to overdisgnosis, all well documented.

Those with genuine disabilities are suffering because half the population seems to have adhd and or anxiety.

D23456789 · 17/03/2025 21:14

Gloriia · 17/03/2025 21:13

No, I'm blaming those who have mild illnesses who claim pip. That is why it is being rehashed because claims have gone up by a third due to overdisgnosis, all well documented.

Those with genuine disabilities are suffering because half the population seems to have adhd and or anxiety.

ADHD is underdiagnosed.

NapT1me · 17/03/2025 21:18

Gloriia · 17/03/2025 21:13

No, I'm blaming those who have mild illnesses who claim pip. That is why it is being rehashed because claims have gone up by a third due to overdisgnosis, all well documented.

Those with genuine disabilities are suffering because half the population seems to have adhd and or anxiety.

No it isn’t well documented at all.

Claims have gone up because there are more cases. CAMHS ground to a halt during COVID. MH difficulties rocketed during that time alone. EDs doubled. Those kids got nothing and were left to get worse. They are now in the adult system. There are many reasons why claims have risen but it suits the benefit haters to blame fraud on a benefit that is known to have next to no fraud.

Tiredalwaystired · 17/03/2025 21:18

Gloriia · 17/03/2025 21:00

Many of us will have disabled family and friends that is why we are so frustrated at the soaring pip claims!

You know the stress this is causing many people wirh significant physical and mental illnesses don't you yet you're marching around shouting bullshit and nonsense to those of us who are pointing it out.

So you're putting people against each other for not being disabled ENOUGH? When you’re basing it all on what you see on the surface?

OneTC · 17/03/2025 21:19

I don't know what the correct amount of diagnosis is and I don't imagine Wes Streeting does either.

NapT1me · 17/03/2025 21:20

Gloriia · 17/03/2025 21:13

No, I'm blaming those who have mild illnesses who claim pip. That is why it is being rehashed because claims have gone up by a third due to overdisgnosis, all well documented.

Those with genuine disabilities are suffering because half the population seems to have adhd and or anxiety.

ADHD and autism are under diagnosed. It’s nigh on impossible to get a diagnosis. Women and girls particularly are left too long. Anxiety is often a symptom of something else and the something else can be very disabling.

soupyspoon · 17/03/2025 21:21

Marmalade777 · 17/03/2025 20:16

With respect, I'm a very experienced advanced mental health nurse with decades of practice. I am well capable of identifying genuine ND...and equally adept at recognising when someone definitely is not ND or otherwise mentally unwell. These are the people I was referring to.

It was completely clear and obvious what you meant. Shame people cant really have a discussion about the nuances of all of this without attacking other posters, those of us who work with this client group and multi agency partnerships have a wide range of knowledge, experience and practice with different needs, seen over decades how the landscape changes in line with social trends and behaviours.

XenoBitch · 17/03/2025 21:27

NapT1me · 17/03/2025 21:20

ADHD and autism are under diagnosed. It’s nigh on impossible to get a diagnosis. Women and girls particularly are left too long. Anxiety is often a symptom of something else and the something else can be very disabling.

A lot of women have been labelled with things like EUPD, when it turns out it was undiagnosed ASD. And that is after years under CMHT, where it was just not picked up.

NapT1me · 17/03/2025 21:38

XenoBitch · 17/03/2025 21:27

A lot of women have been labelled with things like EUPD, when it turns out it was undiagnosed ASD. And that is after years under CMHT, where it was just not picked up.

This! I have a friend who spent months in a psychiatric hospital after a completely wrong diagnosis( BPD)with completely wrong and invasive treatment - it was Autism. It is well documented that this is common.

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