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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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6
InALonelyWorld · 16/03/2025 22:41

XenoBitch · 16/03/2025 22:30

NHS MH resources are limited and have been cut to the bone in recent years. No one with severe issues is losing out on treatment because someone with mild depression is getting help. Secondary MH services wont take someone on with mild depression/anxiety as they can be managed by a GP.... and someone seeing their GP is not taking that resource from someone else. If some one feels they are suffering, and it does not matter that it does not meet your standard of what is severe enough.... they should get help. Everyone deserves a life worth living.
I just hope there is no one reading posts like yours thinking they are more of a burden than they are already feeling.

Well that might be the case where you are but it's not like that here. I'm not just talking about taking up MH service resources, it's ALL resources that should be available to EVERYONE!!

So since addiction is linked to MH issues and is a "disease" i'll use this example. In the past 2 weeks my drug addict neighbour has had 10 ambulances to his door within 20 minutes because he was spaced out on drugs. Whilst a distraught 15 year old lad had to be talked down from a motorway bridge and monitored by the general public for an hour and a half until a response team to arrive at the scene. It was going to take 3 hours for an ambulance to arrive to a shop when an elderly man started having a stoke until someone decided to take him to the hospital himself.

How is that not taking resources from those actually in need?

*ETA- no they aren't taking away resources completely but at times they are causing significant delays to people who may actually need urgent treatment to save their lives.

DBSFstupid · 16/03/2025 22:43

InALonelyWorld · 16/03/2025 22:23

I am stating this and have provided an example above for those who are taking the resources from people that actually need it.

Generalised normal but brief feelings like nervousness, anger, sadness, hopelessness, etc are not a MH crisis. You do not need to take up resources like medication and NHS counselling or need a sudden diagnosis because your depressed. When it starts to have a prolonged impact on your daily life and beliefs do you then need to seek additional support and a diagnosis.

The lack of resilience and understanding of the general normal emotions/reactions that people now claim are depression and anxiety are what are taking up resources for those who are perhaps self harming for example and can't get access to the help.

@NapT1me Do you understand now?

Lost20211 · 16/03/2025 22:44

Could it be that he would like to see less diagnoses because the NHS doesn’t have the capacity to provide a meaningful support? It does make them look rather bad. I know an older psychiatric nurse who told me that alcoholism was removed as a recognised mental illness because it wasn’t cost effective.

TrixieFatell · 16/03/2025 22:44

Gloriia · 16/03/2025 22:09

Well again, severe mh problems would manifest in high doses of multiple meds and frequent hcp/mdt teview.

Mild anxiety would manifest in low does meds on repeat prescription with the odd phone consult review.

I'm on quite a high dose of antipsychotics but can go years without seeing anyone for my mental health. I have to fight to get a meds review.

littleredpiano · 16/03/2025 22:49

Newgirls · 16/03/2025 15:17

Hmmm I think very few people are probably ‘neurotypical’ so perhaps we are too quick to diagnose compared to the past.

We are actually under diagnosed in terms of ND in the country. The stats for predicted levels of ADHD fall below how many are actually diagnosed per population. In the US they are above their predicted levels. I am pretty sick of some of the headlines and damaging statements out there. We are not over diagnosing in this country. Yes more people have got diagnosed but that is due to more education and understanding of conditions. Diagnosis is not quick or easy. It’s positive that people are coming forward. You say you think ‘very few people are probably neurotypical’. How do you define ND? Again a throw away very damaging statement.

XenoBitch · 16/03/2025 22:56

InALonelyWorld · 16/03/2025 22:41

Well that might be the case where you are but it's not like that here. I'm not just talking about taking up MH service resources, it's ALL resources that should be available to EVERYONE!!

So since addiction is linked to MH issues and is a "disease" i'll use this example. In the past 2 weeks my drug addict neighbour has had 10 ambulances to his door within 20 minutes because he was spaced out on drugs. Whilst a distraught 15 year old lad had to be talked down from a motorway bridge and monitored by the general public for an hour and a half until a response team to arrive at the scene. It was going to take 3 hours for an ambulance to arrive to a shop when an elderly man started having a stoke until someone decided to take him to the hospital himself.

How is that not taking resources from those actually in need?

*ETA- no they aren't taking away resources completely but at times they are causing significant delays to people who may actually need urgent treatment to save their lives.

Edited

A drug addict taking up that much in the way of ambulances is not a well person and needs help.
Some heartless people would say the 15 year old on the bridge is lacking resilience.

A lot of ambulance delays are due to ambulances being tied up at A&E departments.

XenoBitch · 16/03/2025 23:00

TrixieFatell · 16/03/2025 22:44

I'm on quite a high dose of antipsychotics but can go years without seeing anyone for my mental health. I have to fight to get a meds review.

Yep, I have a friend who has Bipolar 1, and is on just one med for it. She only sees anyone from a MH team when she is acutely unwell... and she can go years between episodes. I don't know anyone who would say that bipolar 1 is a "mild" illness.

littleredpiano · 16/03/2025 23:01

MidnightPatrol · 16/03/2025 21:07

I think people are very quick to label normal emotions / bad behaviour in children as ‘mental health problems’.

Particularly the vague labels of ADHD and anxiety, which seem to often involve a lot of self diagnosis.

It’s bizarre.

Edited

Can I ask genuinely - how is ADHD a vague label? Do you understand the diagnostic process for ADHD? If you are talking about people who throw comments around such as ‘it’s my OCD I love tidying’ or ‘I’m a bit adhd’ because they’ve seen something on TikTok then yes I get you. But please - a proper ADHD diagnosis is anything but vague. It has to come from a psychiatrist (same medical training as a consultant/surgeon). There is so much misinformation out there regarding ADHD. It’s damaging to those of us with proper NHS diagnosis.

AnnieZannie · 16/03/2025 23:06

I’d love to know on what research findings his statement is based. Or is it just a ‘feeling’ he has. That he wants to base policy on.
it’s just more of the endless ableism of the new government. It’s shocking.

InALonelyWorld · 16/03/2025 23:06

XenoBitch · 16/03/2025 22:56

A drug addict taking up that much in the way of ambulances is not a well person and needs help.
Some heartless people would say the 15 year old on the bridge is lacking resilience.

A lot of ambulance delays are due to ambulances being tied up at A&E departments.

I am far from heartless. Thank you.

Maybe if 15 year old was able to access support at an earlier stage then he would of had the resilience and tools to not reach that stage. But yeah, GPs only give same day appointments that are gone by the time you even reach someone to talk to, ambulances are too busy with addicts and their dodgy gear, MH services have years long waiting lists because of "covid" and the police are no where to be seem.... so where is he supposed to get his resilience from when no body who can actually help you gives a shit or even has capacity to see you?

XenoBitch · 16/03/2025 23:12

InALonelyWorld · 16/03/2025 23:06

I am far from heartless. Thank you.

Maybe if 15 year old was able to access support at an earlier stage then he would of had the resilience and tools to not reach that stage. But yeah, GPs only give same day appointments that are gone by the time you even reach someone to talk to, ambulances are too busy with addicts and their dodgy gear, MH services have years long waiting lists because of "covid" and the police are no where to be seem.... so where is he supposed to get his resilience from when no body who can actually help you gives a shit or even has capacity to see you?

Edited

I didn't say you were heartless. But there have been countless posts on here and other threads about how young people are simply not resilient enough. They would be the type that are held up in traffic due to the poor teen on the bridge, and shaking their head about it all.
I have been that person on a bridge (well, it was a car park) and a man was on the ground shouting all sorts at me because he was not allowed to leave.

NattyTurtle59 · 16/03/2025 23:21

soupyspoon · 16/03/2025 18:32

Some of this is correct, but really not the claim that inequality between rich and poor is greater than at any time in history. Please!!

The feudal peasant and the aristocrat, really?

The Tudor street urchin and the wealthy merchants of the day, really?

The Victorian street kids and the wealthy industrialists, really?

My dad grew up in a room, pre war, no washing facilities, no fridge, no heating, whole family. Mum similar although I think her family had slightly more money to go around. The disparity between them and the 'rich' of the day was much more than similar would be today.

I agree with this. Many young people really have no idea about life in earlier times, when people lived the way they wouldn't dream of living. Do they really think that life in the war years, or the depression years, was a bed of roses? I really can't understand how ignorant some people are.

I'm not in the UK, we all have to pay to visit a dentist here, and a GP (a subsidised amount, but it still has to be paid) and we cope - and it's just as hard to see a GP here.

I've just been for a long walk and passed a lot of very nice, very large, and very expensive houses, and then arrived back to my rented flat (and I will be renting for the rest of my life). So what? Am I envious, no I'm not, there have always been those with much more wealth than I've ever had, it's no big deal. I don't believe life owes me anything.

I also don't believe that work, for many, is any more stressful than it was in the past. I worked in administration my whole life, no-one ever expected me to do anything out of work hours, and I would say I worked harder in the early part of my working life than I did in the latter years.

As for social media, it's easy to avoid that - just keep off it! No-one is forcing anyone onto social media, it's a choice. Stop looking for excuses.

InALonelyWorld · 16/03/2025 23:24

XenoBitch · 16/03/2025 23:12

I didn't say you were heartless. But there have been countless posts on here and other threads about how young people are simply not resilient enough. They would be the type that are held up in traffic due to the poor teen on the bridge, and shaking their head about it all.
I have been that person on a bridge (well, it was a car park) and a man was on the ground shouting all sorts at me because he was not allowed to leave.

I do get your point. Like I said earlier in the thread, there is no happy medium here. In a time where MH is fully starting to be an open topic of discussion and become less stigmatised, it's hard to try and police the minority of society who use it as an excuse for general, without affecting or shaming the majority who do really suffer.

Its not just MH either, it's absolutely everything. All public services, poor behaviour and in some cases now unwillingness to actually parent, blame is appointed rather than taking responsibility, diagnosis are sought rather than building/teaching resilience and coping skills, being forced to work just to survive rather than to have a decent life. I just feel that at this rate things are only going to get worse. Honestly our society and all systems are broken.

TempestTost · 16/03/2025 23:25

Yeah, they are. I think there are a few reasons for it. One is that there has been a weird trajectory in some types of disorders or diagnoses where the diagnostic criteria has begun to overlap normal feelings/development etc. Basically, they keep widening the scope of the diagnosis, I think because people, including doctors, lose sight of what makes something a disorder.

MH has also become the new "back pain" among those who are taking the piss. Twenty-five years ago people who wanted to get off work or to get special benefits of some kind would fake back pain, which was difficult to show wasn't there and could easily be faked. For a number of years quite a few people were successful with this, but eventually the medical profession began to crack down. Now people like this will fake some kind of MH condition, because it's basically impossible for the doctor to prove the symptoms are faked.

And - I think there are quite a few people who have come to believe their normal struggles and personality traits are medical problems, and this in itself causes them more stress and problems.

It's also true that there are other people who aren't getting a diagnosis who should, or who aren't supported with their issues (though I think the fact that so many people are in the system contributes to that.)

MferMonsterSearchingForRedemption · 16/03/2025 23:30

Gloriia · 16/03/2025 19:13

Oh because of the massive increase in PIP claimants for those allegedly with mh problems.

The stigma has definitely gone but it has gone too far the other way. Everyone is ND nowadays.

Not that ND is a mental health condition.

The stigma of MH has not gone. Not at all. Trying having a psychotic illness and see how stigmatised you feel.

Anxiety and depression is more talked about, granted, but don't fool yourself into thinking the stigma of MH is a thing of the past.

CompleteUninspiredNameChange · 16/03/2025 23:43

Blimey, I think I can see from reading this thread why when I was diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder (used to be Multiple Personality Disorder) my clinician told me not to tell anyone as they wouldn't understand.
I'm very fortunate that I have a supportive boss who understands that some times when I am stressed I contact them as another identity, and they have ignored emails where I have resigned for example. Otherwise i wouldn't be able to work. But most of the time I cope just fine in work. I don't need to take any medication.
But I am supposed to have intensive talking therapy twice a week. And apparently I could be cured in 3 to 7 years.
Is it over diagnosed? I don't know, but I posted on here asking if anyone else has it and had no positive replies. So hopefully not. But it isn't something I was born with, it developed due to horrendous CSA when I was very small. Maybe I should be more resilient. Well I tried that. I guess that is where the DID comes from. Keep creating a new identity each time you are abused and forget what happened to you before hand. But I finally broke completely after leaving an abusive marriage, and spent 3 days in a dissociated trance that no one could get me out of and I was totally unresponsive. Maybe if someone had taken notice of my dissociative symptoms when I was collapsing as a teenager I might have been easier to solve than I am now after a life time of abuse.

Jumpingthruhoops · 17/03/2025 00:01

FeministUnderTheCatriarchy · 16/03/2025 14:04

Weirdly I feel it is both over and under diagnosed.

I have a mental health condition I have suffered with my whole adult life. It impacts my quality of life quite a lot.

I have been to the GP countless times, been to private and NHS therapy, a private psychologist. I tried all the suggestions to help myself.

Eventually after about 13 years of struggling I did get a diagnosis and lovely validation from an amazing professional and he was quite upset on my behalf I hadn't been helped sooner.

I wasn't exactly begging for a diagnosis, and I am not a pushy personality in medical settings, so that may have had an impact.

But then I also know a lot of people diagnosed very, very quickly with Autism and ADHD including my own sister (who now sells her ADHD meds).

It has been eye opening getting back into working in school settings and seeing how many parents are adamant their child is SEN for what are very normal development stages and challenges.

(not denying some of the parents are completely valid).

So in my experience you have to be very pushy to get a diagnosis. I wonder how many do get a diagnosis because they were so adamant about it.

I've also heard in person and seen on social media people being angry they weren't given a diagnosis and they have been validated by comments that a self diagnosis is just as valid.

Whilst we know our own bodies and minds, I don't think the validity of a professional diagnosis should be ignored, especially when there are clearly people who abuse the system.

And a lot of more quiet people fall through the cracks and never get help.

Edited

This! 👏👏

goldfinchfan · 17/03/2025 00:09

Giving the diagnosis is only partially helpful for anxiety and depression. with some constructive counselling. let young people know that it is part of normal life especially in teenage years. Let them know it won't last forever.
However why do thye need money from PIP ?
I have physical disability so need a wheelchair. Plus lots of other aids. I need the money to buy the equipment.
what do people spend the money on? I know of young adults using their PIP money for their drink and drug consumption. They won't work. it all really pees me off the young need help they are not getting.

whippy1981 · 17/03/2025 04:46

MferMonsterSearchingForRedemption · 16/03/2025 23:30

Not that ND is a mental health condition.

The stigma of MH has not gone. Not at all. Trying having a psychotic illness and see how stigmatised you feel.

Anxiety and depression is more talked about, granted, but don't fool yourself into thinking the stigma of MH is a thing of the past.

The field needs stigma to survive. The moment you give a label is the moment you use stigma.

Stigma will never go as the field is built on stigma. That is the reason it exists.

malificent7 · 17/03/2025 05:29

I hold the opinion that modern life is awful for our mental health. COL, screens, 5 day working week, 2 parents working FT jobs to make ends meet, destruction of nature etc, etc.

No wonder we are all are depressed.But now we are being told our MH disn't matter. Great.

malificent7 · 17/03/2025 05:30

Perhaps if streeting thought about the root causes of this we would be getting somewhere.

Armadillosparkle · 17/03/2025 06:01

Everythingisnumbersnow · 16/03/2025 19:45

Young people don't have anything to look forward to. Who are you to tell them they lack resilience? You had a future when you were that age.

Don’t have anything to look forward to?? Wow… I mean what a ridiculous comment.

NapT1me · 17/03/2025 06:30

Armadillosparkle · 17/03/2025 06:01

Don’t have anything to look forward to?? Wow… I mean what a ridiculous comment.

Well there are record numbers living at home because rent let alone mortgages are way out of their league, the world is on fire and not many countries seem to be doing much about it,it’s really hard to get first jobs ( even doctors and nurses are struggling) year in industry degrees are having to hop over the year in industry because they’re so hard to get, they won’t get a state pension, fascism seems to be spreading, even the world’s biggest democracy is going down the pan….. all related to them 24/7 on phones that most of life seems to hinge on alongside their every move.

And we wonder why there is an increase in anxiety.

NapT1me · 17/03/2025 06:31

malificent7 · 17/03/2025 05:30

Perhaps if streeting thought about the root causes of this we would be getting somewhere.

This, but no.

It’s a big case of sticking fingers in ears much is incredibly be it short sited as it won’t disappear.

NapT1me · 17/03/2025 06:35

Jumpingthruhoops · 17/03/2025 00:01

This! 👏👏

Complete rubbish. Autism and adhd diagnoses are hard to get. Children are presenting at school with more SENs it’s not imagined, the dept of education know that because teachers are telling them so.