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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

No photo?

141 replies

PrincessCalley · 15/03/2025 19:59

My brother and his wife had a baby this morning and they have sent us no pictures. AM IBU to be a little sad/upset by this? My own 2 daughters have been waiting all day to see a picture of their new cousin but we've gotten nothing

OP posts:
TheThreeMiracles · 15/03/2025 20:00

Why don’t you ask for a photo ? Xx

Livinggently · 15/03/2025 20:00

It’s okay to feel disappointed but it’s up to them when they send you a photo.

Zoraflora · 15/03/2025 20:01

Ask them could you have pic as you are all looking forward to seeing the new baby.

Themaths · 15/03/2025 20:01

Did they send pics to anyone else? Or are they doing the 'bubble' thing and won't show baby to anyone for a couple of weeks?

Kinneddar · 15/03/2025 20:01

Maybe they just forgot. They probably sent loads of messages.

Why not do the adult thing & ask for one.

Chuchoter · 15/03/2025 20:05

'Congratulations! Let us know if you need anything. The children are so excited. Please send a photo when you get a chance. Much love xxx'

Fagli · 15/03/2025 20:05

Mine was stuck to my chest from birth and wailed when I tried to put them down in the hospital. We took some photos, but I really wasn’t in a position to try and edit my nipple out to send to people in the hours after birth. We sent them later, if anybody cared they didn’t say. I wouldn’t really chastise a mum immediately after birth for not sending a photo . I certainly wasn’t a ‘bubble’ person, we had visitors in the first week!!

Original poster
PrincessCalley · 15/03/2025 20:13

I asked for a photo arounf 1pm today when my brother rang with the good news. I don't want to push it. Just disappointed as I'm sure my sister in law would have sent photos to her sisters. Mam got photos also. As I was talking to her and she mentioned it. It's only myself and my brother in family. Just disappointing is all.

OP posts:
TheThreeMiracles · 15/03/2025 20:14

If others have been sent photos then I can absolutely understand how hurt you are, I think either send everyone a photo or don’t send at all! Could your mum send you a photo ? X

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 15/03/2025 20:15

Good grief ! they are busy ! and your children are not their priority.
Maybe ' Mam ' can forward you her photos.

Original poster
PrincessCalley · 15/03/2025 20:16

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 15/03/2025 20:15

Good grief ! they are busy ! and your children are not their priority.
Maybe ' Mam ' can forward you her photos.

Not sure why "mam" is in commas!!

OP posts:
soupyspoon · 15/03/2025 20:16

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 15/03/2025 20:15

Good grief ! they are busy ! and your children are not their priority.
Maybe ' Mam ' can forward you her photos.

This, I swear people get more self absorbed by the day. No one is obliged to send you pictures for gods sake. Just be paitent, its not about you

SapphireOpal · 15/03/2025 20:17

PrincessCalley · 15/03/2025 20:13

I asked for a photo arounf 1pm today when my brother rang with the good news. I don't want to push it. Just disappointed as I'm sure my sister in law would have sent photos to her sisters. Mam got photos also. As I was talking to her and she mentioned it. It's only myself and my brother in family. Just disappointing is all.

I would have sent photos to the grandparents and assumed they could distribute to the rest of the family. Why on earth didn't you ask your Mam to forward you the photos?!

TwentyTwentyFive · 15/03/2025 20:18

I can absolutely see why you and your kids are disappointed, even more so if others got pictures. I agree with others who said send to none or send to all.

I would leave it until the morning and then send another message saying hope the first night went ok etc the kids can't wait to see baby.

Mrsttcno1 · 15/03/2025 20:19

As someone who had a baby last year, they are exhausted. They’ve sent to parents & so the expectation is that those will be passed on to family. I was so exhausted, in pain, unwell, still in hospital with a brand new baby, learning to breastfeed, I truly did not spend 1 single second thinking about who I should send photos to on the day my baby was born. It’s not about you, your kids can wait

Original poster
PrincessCalley · 15/03/2025 20:20

soupyspoon · 15/03/2025 20:16

This, I swear people get more self absorbed by the day. No one is obliged to send you pictures for gods sake. Just be paitent, its not about you

Show quote history

I'm so sorry im being self absorbed by wondering why I haven't been sent pics of my niece. There's only myself and my brother in family and I sent pics of my own kids not long after they were born.

OP posts:
Fagli · 15/03/2025 20:20

PrincessCalley · 15/03/2025 20:13

I asked for a photo arounf 1pm today when my brother rang with the good news. I don't want to push it. Just disappointed as I'm sure my sister in law would have sent photos to her sisters. Mam got photos also. As I was talking to her and she mentioned it. It's only myself and my brother in family. Just disappointing is all.

That’s a bit crap of your brother, but he was probably just overwhelmed with the birth, having a new baby and letting people know. Can’t you just ask your mum to forward it to you?

Neveranynamesleft · 15/03/2025 20:20

She has just given birth, leave the poor woman alone, you are not high on her list of priorities right now. She has probably sent mam a pic hoping she will send it to others and save her the job.

TomatoSandwiches · 15/03/2025 20:21

Ask your mam for her to share the pictures she was sent.
Do you not get on with SIL?

Fagli · 15/03/2025 20:21

Neveranynamesleft · 15/03/2025 20:20

She has just given birth, leave the poor woman alone, you are not high on her list of priorities right now. She has probably sent mam a pic hoping she will send it to others and save her the job.

I didn’t send any! I was too busy recovering and looking after a newborn. Surely this is the dad’s job?!!

Sorry edited to say, I completely forgot I did send one to my friends hours and hours later in the middle of the night when I was bored, knackered and couldn’t sleep as had a newborn on me! Wouldn’t even have crossed my mind to send one to my family or in-laws as my husband did all that.

Themaths · 15/03/2025 20:21

PrincessCalley · 15/03/2025 20:13

I asked for a photo arounf 1pm today when my brother rang with the good news. I don't want to push it. Just disappointed as I'm sure my sister in law would have sent photos to her sisters. Mam got photos also. As I was talking to her and she mentioned it. It's only myself and my brother in family. Just disappointing is all.

Did you speak to him?

FabuIous · 15/03/2025 20:22

PrincessCalley · 15/03/2025 20:16

Not sure why "mam" is in commas!!

Show quote history

It’s not clear if this if ‘Mam’ is your mum or hers, so it that poster can’t say ‘your mum’.
That’s what the quotation marks mean in that case I think.

Themaths · 15/03/2025 20:22

Fagli · 15/03/2025 20:21

I didn’t send any! I was too busy recovering and looking after a newborn. Surely this is the dad’s job?!!

Sorry edited to say, I completely forgot I did send one to my friends hours and hours later in the middle of the night when I was bored, knackered and couldn’t sleep as had a newborn on me! Wouldn’t even have crossed my mind to send one to my family or in-laws as my husband did all that.

Edited
Show quote history

It is Dad's job tbf

TwentyTwentyFive · 15/03/2025 20:22

Neveranynamesleft · 15/03/2025 20:20

She has just given birth, leave the poor woman alone, you are not high on her list of priorities right now. She has probably sent mam a pic hoping she will send it to others and save her the job.

No one expects mum to send the photos surely that's something dad does. He's not just given birth and isn't too exhausted to select multiple people to send the same photo too.

Original poster
PrincessCalley · 15/03/2025 20:27

I get on great with my sister in law and have been texting her but no photos. And I've speaking to my brother on the phone also and no photo. My sis in law is fine and doing well but I love all the assumptions being made here.

OP posts: