Child Benefit Rival Claim Ex Partner Earning Loads!!!!!

[ProlongedAffair]

Me and my ex share 50/50 of our two children, it’s not court ordered but has been in place for the past few years. A few months ago I put in a claim for CMS and was awarded it, they see me as the primary carer because I get both children’s child benefits. I also discovered my ex is earning a 6 figure salary.

Last week I got a letter from child benefit saying that he is challenging my claim. I said to the lady that he earns too much to claim and I suspect he’s only claiming so he can try to get out of CMS. She told me that because he has the children for half the time and child benefit isn’t means tested, the likelihood is they will award child benefit one each! Surely that can’t be correct, can anyone advise who has been through their rival claims process?? He will then be able to claim CMS from me!!

Because it’s in the best interests of our children to have open communication rather than him ignoring me.

It was in your childrens best interests for you to have communicated openly before you opened your CMS claim and started this animosity

It's in their best interest to communicate things that directly affect them, like doctor's appointments and whatnot.

Because it’s in the best interests of our children to have open communication rather than him ignoring me.

Says you who went to CMS without speaking to him...

Communication is a two way thing. It's not surprising he's limiting communication with you.

Has he ignored anything vital like a doctors appointment?

Is he ignoring messages about their well-being or logistics? If so, that’s crap. If he’s just being brief/business like with you, then that’s fair enough.

He pays you a few hundred a month. Pays for private medical and dentist. Pays for their phones. Pays for half of school trips etc. lets you claim all child benefit.

and had kids 50/50

how much extra were you hoping to get?

He’s ignored all messages, including ones about appointments. I asked the children to ask why he’s ignoring me and he told the children he will just communicate directly with them from now on.

Well you were warned on here many times that your greed for money would spoil the amicable co-parenting relationship you had. Not sure why you are surprised, to be honest

Using your children as messenger is absolutely not on - you absolutely should not have involved them in that.

Mother of the year right here - involving your children in acrimony that you are the SOLE cause of.

slow hand clap

I imagine he’s pretty pissed with you! He’s already paying for loads extra and doing 50/50 and it seems Your just then trying to get extra out of him? I don’t understand

How old are the children ? Are they old enough to organise everything direct ?

The children are teenagers, I’ve sent a few messages now and he’s just ignored all of them which I think is pretty petty, that’s why I asked the children if he could reply and why he was ignoring me, and he told them he will communicate with them directly and will no longer be contacting me. Which I don’t think is right regardless of whether he believes he should be paying me maintenance or not.

It’s a bit petty but… you started it (also petty!)

You didn’t have a conversation with him about CM, despite the fact you had a good relationship. You just went to the CMS and the first he heard of it was from them.

As teenagers, he probably can do everything through them, checking if they have any sports matches or whatever. Is there anything he has ignored from you that actually has an impact on their well-being?

@SheilaFentiman He was contributing an amount and I did ask how much he’d contribute more, and he wouldn’t contribute anymore and I didn’t know his wages, so I went to the CMS… he’s earning a lot and so his maintenance even with 50/50 is substantial because I’m primary carer but he doesn’t think he should be paying that amount… now there’s ongoing child benefit rivalry claims, I’ve also just had a letter from court saying he’s taking me to court to contest the CMS amount…

he didn’t even tell me he wouldn’t be communicating with me anymore he just completely ignored my emails for the past month.

He thinks I am not primary carer and it’s all equal that’s what his argument is.

And his argument is correct (I’ve read the whole thread and the prior one). You are equal carers.

When he said no to paying more, did you tell him then you were going to go to the CMS?

No I just opened the case as it was clear he wasn’t going to agree to pay more.

So you did a similar thing in terms of not communicating something you were going to do (that impacted him) before you did it.

Surely you foresaw this eventuality when you went to CMS without discussing the matter with him first?

Are your kids young teenagers?

He probably feels it’s in the best interests of your children that their parents aren’t openly warring and since he no apparently no longer trusts you, direct contact with you is no longer appropriate or needed.

32 pages of people telling you that you are wrong and not the primary carer. Does any part of you see their point?

He’s correct.

Because you're not...

You don't seem to be grasping that being the primary carer years ago isn't the same as now.

He has had the children more than you have recently - you're lucky he's not going for CB for both of them.

he didn’t even tell me he wouldn’t be communicating with me anymore he just completely ignored my emails for the past month.

Why would he tell you? You didn't communicate with him...

No I just opened the case as it was clear he wasn’t going to agree to pay more.

You ended the communication. He's just continuing your way.

He has gone for both of them, but when I spoke to the lady from child benefit she said in most cases of 50/50 they split it equally between the parents. I’ve no idea what will happen it will come down to what evidence we’ve both submitted.