Parking in a disabled parking bay

[VividLilac]

I am trying to give my 10 year old a little independence. He wanted to get himself ready after swimming lesson and meet me in car park of leisure centre. I was right on time and it was getting a little dark out so I swung into a close(ish) to entrance disabled parking bay. There are around 10 bays in total with one car parked up (I would never have pulled into these spaces if busy and certainly would not have taken the last space). I stepped out the car, waiting next to it for the 40 seconds until he came out of the leisure centre to wave him over. A small child was walking past hand in hand with their grandmother and she loudly started to speak to the child about how selfish it was to park in disabled spaces. Of course she is right and I wouldn’t do it again, no matter what the circumstances but ffs was there any need.

It's really not up to individuals to give "permission" though I mean imagine you were. Trying to take your son swimming and you couldn't use his badge to park because of people just nipping in ?

Yanbu - lots of empty places, late at night. You did no harm but shouldn't have asked on here - the righteous army are out in full force.

It's not that I think the poster did any actual harm at the time, but kids notice this stuff and she showed him that their own unwillingness to walk a few car lengths was more important than respecting disabled people enough to leave them the tiny amounts of space they are entitled to in the world. And I just wouldn't want my kids to learn that lesson from me. Obviously there are far greater problems in the world but I appreciate the other adult using it as a teaching moment for her own young person.

I don't understand what you mean by the richteous army ? Do you think an able bodied persons and her sons "needs" overturns a disabled person rights and entitlements I'm just trying to work out your and other posters thinking?

Thank you. I have been thoroughly bashed on here and bitterly regret posting..won’t make that mistake again! Made to feel like a criminal and a bad mother. My mum was disabled and used a blue badge, I would NEVER take a space away from someone who needed it. Agree moaners and massive overreactions a plenty.

You really need to get a hold of yourself I mean you could have just said you know I shouldn't have parked there you know it isn't right you don't have to be so dramatic about it !Just park in a normal bay and meet your son half way this will instill just as much independence as parking somewhere that was convenient for you.

But you did take a space, and trying to justify it by saying no-one else was there doesn't excuse that.

No I agree but in this instance there were plenty of spaces and the lady was there and would have moved if for some reason a person wanted that space instead of one of the other empty ones.

It is always 'in this instant'. There isn't any instant, disabled bays are for disabled drivers only.

Stop normalising it, isn't ok to make disabled people's lives even more difficult.

That doesn't matter and this attitude Is the problem isn't it? Oh well what does it matter nobody is using it. It matters words and attitudes to marginalised people matter. The majority need to do better and stop thinking about themselves.

Try reading all the various posts above that explain why many disabled people can't/don't "just ask". Setting aside the verbal abuse and threats we can sometimes get for "just asking", there are pretty practical reasons why it isn't always that easy. You need to find somewhere to park your own car while getting out to ask - negating the whole point in having the spaces in the first place. For some, that can be virtually impossible.

And please don't suggest parking behind, beeping your horn & waving your BB at the person parked there, tried that & was either sworn at or completely ignored/not even noticed

I mean, you did ask OP!

So parking in a blue badge space isn't ok, but taking a picture of someone who didn't consent to be photographed, and subsequently harassing that person online, is ok ? There are other ways to deal with this situation. Just asking the person to leave for instance.

And - it shouldn't matter but I'm sure people will comment - I have never owned a car, and never parked on a disabled space. But this comment rubbed me the wrong way.

This said OP I'm sure the nearest non disabled spot wasn't that much father from the door, and the child is 10, not 5, so on balance yabu.

There were lots of other spaces so this is a non issue. I have a disabled son with a blue badge. I’d be pissed off if it was the last space but it wasn’t so not an issue is it really 🙄

No blue badge.

No parking in the space.

it’s not rocket science and good on that grandparent for teaching her little charge some common courtesy and decency.

hopefully now you realise how utterly unreasonable you were you’ll do the same.

And I would never take a space from someone that needs it

but you did.

You did just that.

whether someone could have parked closer who finds walking difficult.

whether someone had to go further up for a space to get in and out of a wheelchair - especially when hatched lines are not both sides.

if you want your DS to gain independence then great. But not at the expense of the freedom of a disabled person.

you shouldn’t have had to come on MN and ask either.

you shouldn’t know what a total tool you were for making that choice in the first place.

Moaners and massive overreactions? 🙄 Jesus Christ. Take it on the chin and accept that you were wrong, don't double down and pretend that you are a victim of anything.

Last space,/30 spaces that isn't the point disabled parking isn't for "convenience"

me me me me me me me me me me entitled me me entitled ....

WellYou illegally parked in a BB place.
And you have no idea if you’ve taken someone place. Because they wouldn’t have come and ask you! Think of your mother. Wpuld she have have gone of the car to tell to move? Nope. She’d have dealt with it the best she could.

I suppose your mum was also a moaner…..

Hopefully your son has someone else in his life to teach him responsible and kind behaviour?

You're asking if there was any need for the grandparent to comment on you parking in the disabled bay, while there was no need for you to park in the disabled bay.

Do you see the irony?

Of course she didn't need to comment and unless she actually knows you and your DS then she doesn't know whether you had a need to use the space - though lack of blue badge would likely be a big indicator.

But why didn't you just park up and meet him in reception?

'Moaners and massive overreaction a plenty' .

Or, family and friends of disabled people who experience this crap every single day.

Instead of teaching your 10yr old son how to dress himself and leave a building independently teach him some disability awareness.