Parking in a disabled parking bay

[VividLilac]

I am trying to give my 10 year old a little independence. He wanted to get himself ready after swimming lesson and meet me in car park of leisure centre. I was right on time and it was getting a little dark out so I swung into a close(ish) to entrance disabled parking bay. There are around 10 bays in total with one car parked up (I would never have pulled into these spaces if busy and certainly would not have taken the last space). I stepped out the car, waiting next to it for the 40 seconds until he came out of the leisure centre to wave him over. A small child was walking past hand in hand with their grandmother and she loudly started to speak to the child about how selfish it was to park in disabled spaces. Of course she is right and I wouldn’t do it again, no matter what the circumstances but ffs was there any need.

This time. And I'd say there was harm done. She's now taught her son that it's OK to park there without a BB. She's upset a disabled person. Harmful.

Your son isn't ready for that level of independence if you need to park in blue badge spot.

⬆️⬆️⬆️

Very good point!

Or maybe it’s the OP who isn’t ready … because it would mean letting them walk alone in a ‘dark’ car park…..

YABU for parking in a BB space when you don't have one... but the lady you saw was also BU. She self appointed herself as BB police. Was she even close enough to you car to see you didn't have one?

Oh this.

Actually no the legal requirement is only 6% of parking bays need to be marked as for Blue Badge holders - SIX PERCENT!

Bearing in mind that Blue Badge holders are much more likely to need parking than non-disabled people, that isn't really that many at all. The building I work in has a total of 5 disabled bays. I know at least 4 people in my team alone have blue badges, plus at least 3 others in my wing possibly 4. There is a second wing, plus we have disabled visitors occasionally. If it wasn't for the fact some of these work mostly from home or out of the office, you'd never get a disabled bay after about 8.30am. Arrive after 9:15 and all the other parking spaces are filled at the entrance end of the building, so you have up to 100m walk to the entrance.

The reason for the somewhat irritable views on here isn't because of that one specific incident the OP is referring to, it's because as stated by many people on the thread this kind of thing happens every single day of our already restricted lives, and it's the attitude in general that enrages us.

“I’d have moved if needed” does NOT work from the POV of a disabled person driving in and seeing you parked in that space.

That disabled person:

• has no way of knowing you are not displaying a disabled parking badge
• has no way to know you won’t be abusive when asked to move
• may not be able to wind down the window, get your attention and articulate the request for you to move
• May not be able to stop the car and block the road long enough to do all this
• may be running tight on time and just need to get on with their life

and on top of that, will likely definitely have had many day-ruining upsetting encounters with “just asking nicely” for someone to move.

People who park in blue badge spaces without a blue badge are very rarely willing to be nice about and immediately move their illegally parked vehicle.

Try asking a few and see how that goes.

You think there was no need for her to comment

I think there was absolutely no need for you to park there.

Other spaces were available. If there wasnt and you couldnt have seen your son cross the car park from where you parked, you should have walked to where you could safely see him. You got out of the car anyway.

As others pointed out...its not necessarily about the parking since there was many other free spaces, its the normalising of this and people then taking it upon themselves to make up rules in their heads "...well I'll only be a second, it doesnt matter" "... I'm waiting in the car so what's the harm?!..." "...there is another free space so I'm not taking the last one..."

Blue badge spaces need to be a blanket no parking unless a blue badge and yes, people should be called out for inconsiderate behaviour in relation to them

...and on top of that, will likely definitely have had many day-ruining upsetting encounters with “just asking nicely” for someone to move.
People who park in blue badge spaces without a blue badge are very rarely willing to be nice about and immediately move their illegally parked vehicle.
Try asking a few and see how that goes.

I gave up on asking people to move. As @InchesThin says above, actually being able to ask someone - assuming they are in their car & haven't just "popped off for 5 minutes (usually nearer 20) to grab a McDonalds" - isn't easy when you can't find somewhere with enough space nearby to open the car door wide enough to get out, and adding further to your pain having to walk over to the car (yes, another 10 yards or so CAN make a difference).

And in most cases of people sitting in the car waiting they are completely oblivious to anything going on outside the car as they have the radio on loud, are having a conversation on speakerphone, or are just engrossed in social media on their phone. Only way to get attention is to knock hard on the driver's window, which of course means having to get out of your own car.

Then the responses can range from a faux apologetic "Oh I didn't realise it was a disabled bay" through an indignant "I was only going to be 5 (read 20) minutes", "well you aren't really disabled" (no, spinal nerve damage rarely shows on the outside), through "none of your fing business" - actually it IS my business as a blue badge holder, to "F off you Fing C, I'll park where I want. I'll Fing do you if you don't F off right now you fat C*".

'As others pointed out...its not necessarily about the parking since there was many other free spaces, its the normalising of this and people then taking it upon themselves to make up rules in their heads "...well I'll only be a second, it doesnt matter" "... I'm waiting in the car so what's the harm?!..." "...there is another free space so I'm not taking the last one..."

This. As if it's a one off never to be repeated.

The mentality of the op and the enablers/minimisers on here demonstrates that some believe it is up to them if for example they think their 10yr dc <who is being taught independence> shouldn't have to walk too far and as long as there isn't a queue of disabled people needing facilties legally identified for them then it's ok, it's all good .

You were absolutely unreasonable to park in a disabled bay without a BB EVER - no exceptions.
Next time park in a normal bay, and get out and walk to where you can see your child.

Since you are clearly not disabled, you could have parked somewhere in a bay for others and walked to the door to meet your son?

It's nice to see a grandmother teaching good manners and moral ethics to her grandchild. If everyone breaks the rules because it's convenient for them, then there is no point in the rules.

At my station where I pick up from and park to take the train too, multiple times a day, for decades, there are 5 disabled spots which have literally never anyone parked in, eg. parked and left. There are 20 ish regular spots that are often completely filled by parked cars or those waiting. So when there is no regular spot, where do I wait to pickup? In a disabled spot. Maybe someone else does at the same time too but there are always a couple of disabled ones left, If there was only one left I would exit and do a lap and come back. Even though I would put money on no badge holder ever using it tbh, but I wouldn’t risk it and inconvenience them having to beckon me to move or them sssuming I am disabled. Also, ‘parked’ means you are out of the car. If you were in the car, particularly with the engine running, that isn’t parked. OP should have stayed in the car.

Exactly this. @VividLilac you were being UR, and you know it. You're setting a terrible example for your child tbh.

You are parked even if you are sat in a car. Why not just wait on double yellows if you aren't bothered about rule breaking?

You shouldn't wait in a space for disabled people no matter how much you minimise and enable and typically explain why it is ok for you. It isn't.

You were in the wrong. You know it, it’s just embarrassing to have it pointed out. We all cock up occasionally, no harm done on this occasion. Don’t do it again. Job done.

I can't say blame the woman for her reaction.My DH has a blue badge and it's made me so much more aware about how many think it's OK to take a space because they are only 'popping in'.And don't get me started on the ones with big flashy SUVs who use disabled bays because they don't want their precious car near other cars.

I have a blue badge due to a broken back. I need the wider spaces because I cannot get out of a standard space without extreme pain.

When I used to take my daughter swimming, her lesson timing clashed with a dance group ending. Every single week the disabled spaces were used by parents doing a 'quick pick up'

It meant that every week I was either driving in circles waiting for a space to free up, or ended up in pain by parking in a standard space and further away.

All these parents thought it was fine because they were only there for a few minutes but collectively they made my pain worse. They all apologised when I asked if they had a badge but I saw the same parents doing it again. The leisure centre said they kept reminding parents but ultimately didn't have resources to patrol the parking.

There was an occasion where we simply turned around and went home because I couldn't manage to twist to exit my car.
(Exiting in a standard space requires far more twisting than you think, which isn't an issue unless you have mobility problems)

Needless to say I think even once is unreasonable when you have the ability (and health) to park in a standard space. Blue badges are issued for a health reason, not just because it's closer to the entrance.

Your post doesn't add up @VividLilac , not saying you're trolling but I just don't understand. If you want your son to be more independent why are you mollycoddling him by insisting he can't walk a few extra yards? Able bodied 10 year olds are usually very active and capable of walking. They aren't toddlers!

It’s good that your son was there to witness it, a valuable lesson that anti social behaviour won’t be tolerated.

At my old local station there was three blue badge spaces by the station and a long and short stay carpark just along from it. No standard pickup/dropoff zone, which was a problem. Not my problem as the disabled person though, the council's problem - and if people wanted one, they should campaign for it.
I wasn't leaving a car there, but I still needed the disabled spaces to be dropped off in. Otherwise for whoever drove me it was parking on the road, which was dangerous because there's no space to get my wheelchair out, I can't just hop out onto the pavement. Or parking in the carpark, which also had disabled spaces, but that meant wheeling from the carpark to the station where there was no pavement. And I'm child height in a wheelchair, much less able to jump out of the way, in a narrow space that usually had loads of cars vying for space and not paying full attention. Also dangerous. For those who can walk short distances and use station assistance, it doubled the distance. And we already have to turn up at least 15 minutes in advance of the train (30 at some stations) to be able to get on the train with the assistance we've booked.

Oh and one time the person driving me asked someone to move out of the blue badge space so they could park to pick me up. When I came out the illegally parked guy started harassing us, taking photos of my blue badge in a deliberately intimidating way. I asked him to stop, and he said he was "just checking" but now he could see I was "really disabled" it was ok. That made no sense because he started taking the pictures after I'd come out in my wheelchair, and if I hadn't been in a wheelchair would he have assumed I wasn't really disabled? I told him to delete them but he didn't.

So, there may not be cars parked in the blue badge spaces longterm, but they are still there for a reason and it is still not okay to park in them, even for a moment.

Funny how it's always 'just 2 minutes' when a*holes park in an inconvenient (to the rest of society) place.

That's terrible and is a horrible lesson for your child. 'Use what you like as long as you have a justification for it but also no one else should do this'? If you don't think your child can make his own way across the parking lot himself that's your problem, doesn't mean you should use something that isn't yours.

My son is disabled and has a badge and that wouldn’t bit he me in the slightest. It wasn’t the last space and you weren’t staying. Some people just love to moan.