Parking in a disabled parking bay

[VividLilac]

I am trying to give my 10 year old a little independence. He wanted to get himself ready after swimming lesson and meet me in car park of leisure centre. I was right on time and it was getting a little dark out so I swung into a close(ish) to entrance disabled parking bay. There are around 10 bays in total with one car parked up (I would never have pulled into these spaces if busy and certainly would not have taken the last space). I stepped out the car, waiting next to it for the 40 seconds until he came out of the leisure centre to wave him over. A small child was walking past hand in hand with their grandmother and she loudly started to speak to the child about how selfish it was to park in disabled spaces. Of course she is right and I wouldn’t do it again, no matter what the circumstances but ffs was there any need.

Nine at once?!

When I was parking with my wheelchair bound husband, it would make all the difference in the world if someone was parked but standing by their car. I could then wind the window down and ask if they could move. If they'd disappeared into the building, we'd have no chance.

There were NINE spaces available and OP was standing there. Like I said, personally I wouldn't have done that, but the lynch mob on this thread is ridiculous.

Your child is 10 not 5.

You can’t even let your 10yr old find your car in a deserted car park without feeling the need to park in a disabled bay right by the entrance. This is only excusable if he is disabled and can’t cross a road safely by himself.

Good grief, what ever will you do when he is in year 7 next year and expected to make his own way to and from secondary school?

It is so ironic. Teaching a 10 yr old to get changed by himself (at 10 that surely should be straightforward if he is NT) but then teaching him how to do whatever regarding disabled facilties. Priorities need a review I think.

It’s a slippery slope though innit? Every person illegally using a disabled bay has an excuse for it. Unless there is some disability or injury requiring it, no excuse is good enough imho.

In these circumstances I don't think you did anything particularly wrong but that lady is not a mind reader and she doesn't know whether you are the kind of person that does what they please for their own convenience or a person that considers others and has seen that nobody is likely to be affected by their actions in this moment. If you are going to do this then you have to suck up the comments- I wouldn't do it. If the non disabled parking area was massively further away then I would have parked up and walked closer but maybe not to the entrance to still give a small degree of independence.

Are you asking for validation and for us all to sympathise and say how mean the lady was to you?

I for one won’t be doing that. She was 100% in the right for slagging you off. Those bays give independence to disabled people by making it easier for them to access the shops and get in/out of the car if they use wheelchairs. You need to find an alternative way for your son to practice being independent without inconveniencing others and taking away their independence.

As a disabled blue badge holder myself, entitled people who do this sort of thing really annoy me. It’s always ‘just for a few seconds’ aka hours

'There were NINE spaces available and OP was standing there. Like I said, personally I wouldn't have done that, but the lynch mob on this thread is ridiculous.'

It is the principle, it normalises it.

Everyone is special 'oh there were 9 spaces' well what if there were 5 or 4 would she have thought twice? I doubt it.

You don't park in these spaces unless you have a blue badge.

My local pool hosts a disabled swim session at a specific time once a week, so yes, it is perfectly possible that nine blue badge users could need access to a space at one time. I don't see why that's remotely outrageous.

you are uncomfortable enough for this to have played on your mind to talk about it here so I think you know in your heart of hearts you didn’t need to use that space. Park a bit further down next time and let DS walk that bit further on his own to help his independence. I agree with other posters, just don’t use the spaces unless you have a badge it is easy to just do it once for two minutes so it makes it easier next time for a few minutes longer and so on.

Oh nevermind a disabled swim session a 10yr old boy is getting a lesson in independence by walking from a building to a disabled space .

Hmmm. Perhaps the lack of blue badge was the giveaway

Also, and apologies that I didn't include this in my previous post, it's great you had the confidence to ask people standing by their vehicles to move. Many people don't have this and would rather have left the venue and missed a much needed swim/exercise session to avoid confrontation.

On the face of it no harm done, what does it matter.

But the principle of "what if everyone did this applies"

In that incredibly unlikely event, OP was there to move her car.

I thought I was strict about the use of disabled spaces, having driven my late husband around with a blue badge and sometimes not found a space. But the sheer unpleasantness of the majority of the responses on this thread really shocks me.

Should she have stopped there? No.
Given that there were 9 empty spaces, she stood by the car and was less than a minute, does she deserve this much venom? No.

I don't think either of my posts have displayed any 'venom' at all. OP clearly knows she's done something that's generally frowned upon (hence her posting), the fact she hasn't returned speaks volumes.

By lynch mob do you mean posters pointing out that the OP was wrong?

Such hyperbole

I wasn't referring to your post, but to the venom in many other people's on this thread. Sorry if that wasn't clear.

I am usually a big defender of not misusing disabled bays but can’t get excited about this. You could have moved if the space was suddenly needed (ie if the others filled up). I mean, the grandmother wasn’t wrong - it IS wrong to park in them when you aren’t eligible but I’m not sure what you did actually constitutes parking

So it’s ok when 9 spaces are free? Ok then when does it become not ok? 7? 5? 3? 1? Where do we draw the line?

use of disabled bays should be one of the few issues in life that is black and white. Have a badge use the space don’t have a badge (or the person who the badge was issued to with you!) then don’t use the space.

I was referring to the tone of many such posts. Really unnecessary.

And the 'yes, but ten disabled people night have turned up in that 40 seconds' posts are just laughable.

There isn't anything laughable about this.

It doesn't matter if there are 3 spaces or ten spaces. If they are for disabled people you don't use them. What aren't you understanding here?

It's sad you think that way and also reflective of your mindset. My disabled brother might feel differently if he, and the other people who attend his swim sessions were denied a space because their lesson conflicted with the time of OP's child's session. Sometimes things aren't as straightforward as they seem.

Probably not in 40 seconds but I have.taken my Disabled son to activities for Disabled kids and you can go from no one to several kids within a few minutes so not beyond the realms of possibilities.

It’s not venom to tell OP the “grandmother” was right to call her out on her illegal use of a disabled bay and to not give the OP validation and sympathy. I for one will never normalise this sort of entitled behaviour.