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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Parking in a disabled parking bay

209 replies

VividLilac · 15/03/2025 15:37

I am trying to give my 10 year old a little independence. He wanted to get himself ready after swimming lesson and meet me in car park of leisure centre. I was right on time and it was getting a little dark out so I swung into a close(ish) to entrance disabled parking bay. There are around 10 bays in total with one car parked up (I would never have pulled into these spaces if busy and certainly would not have taken the last space). I stepped out the car, waiting next to it for the 40 seconds until he came out of the leisure centre to wave him over. A small child was walking past hand in hand with their grandmother and she loudly started to speak to the child about how selfish it was to park in disabled spaces. Of course she is right and I wouldn’t do it again, no matter what the circumstances but ffs was there any need.

OP posts:
iwentjasonwaterfalls · 15/03/2025 16:11

VividLilac · 15/03/2025 15:37

I am trying to give my 10 year old a little independence. He wanted to get himself ready after swimming lesson and meet me in car park of leisure centre. I was right on time and it was getting a little dark out so I swung into a close(ish) to entrance disabled parking bay. There are around 10 bays in total with one car parked up (I would never have pulled into these spaces if busy and certainly would not have taken the last space). I stepped out the car, waiting next to it for the 40 seconds until he came out of the leisure centre to wave him over. A small child was walking past hand in hand with their grandmother and she loudly started to speak to the child about how selfish it was to park in disabled spaces. Of course she is right and I wouldn’t do it again, no matter what the circumstances but ffs was there any need.

It's selfish to park in blue badge spaces without a blue badge. Nothing the woman said was inaccurate.

Laserwho · 15/03/2025 16:20

If you want to park on a disabled spot you need the disability that comes with it. People who have to use them would swop their disability in a instant if they could, even if that means walking slightly further.

Figgygal · 15/03/2025 16:23

You're lucky that's all she said
There was no reason to park there you admit you just selfishly chose to anyway

AmusedOpalShaker · 15/03/2025 16:24

YABU.

AmusedOpalShaker · 15/03/2025 16:27

Ruby1985 · 15/03/2025 15:50

People need to mind their own business, if she didn’t need the space she should have just jogged on

Interesting choice of wording.

AppleDumplings · 15/03/2025 16:29

I used to have a Blue Badge when I needed it so feel qualified to comment. I don't doubt for a moment you would have moved if needed. Don't over think it. They may have been having a bad day or are just a misery guts. Good on you for trying to give your son some independence in such a challenging age. Mine is all grown up but I don't envy parents with young children nowadays.

C152 · 15/03/2025 16:34

I hate passive aggressive behaviour like that woman's, but you were being unreasonable to park in a disabled bay. It doesn't matter that it was dark or you were apparently only there for "40 seconds"; you shouldn't have parked there. And if your DC was only 40 seconds, why the need to park in the disabled bay at all? Park in one of the many other empty spaces next time. If you're worried your DC won't see you, park and get out of the car and meet him by the doors of the leisure centre.

Allergictoironing · 15/03/2025 16:34

Totally unacceptable, as over time this kind of behaviour becomes the norm and the reasoning gets weaker and weaker e.g. 8 spaces free out of 10 becomes 5 spaces free, becomes 3 spaces free, eventually "I'll only be a minute"...

I know an ex-traffic warden and the stories I've been told about the excuses people come up with for being parked in a disabled bay would shock you. The most common is "well there are 2 other currently empty bays" - so what if 3 disabled people turn up?

Another common one is "but I'm picking something up for a disabled person". So blooming what - YOU don't have a disability, the bay is there for people who need to be close.

"I was only going to be 5 minutes." They would get this also on double yellows, loading bays (and no, popping in to fetch a takeaway doesn't class as loading!), but stops etc. Doesn't matter, law says "no".

But you "have" to give me 10 minutes. Nope, automatic instant fine. And don't argue that you know better, traffic wardens a) know the letter of parking law better than you as that's their job, b) they have to take exams on this stuff and regular refreshers and c) no most don't get any more money for booking more cars.

They had the retired couple saying they used the disabled bay as there was no other parking left next to the market, and when asked what if a disabled person also wanted to visit the market said "oh dear, I hadn't thought about that"!

I have a blue badge, I can be in a LOT of pain if I have to walk more than about 30 metres. But I moved out of the disabled bay at work a few weeks ago because it was 9am, loads of people were starting work, and at least 2 of the other disabled spaces (out of 5) had non-badged cars in them. Then my friend who is a wheelchair user turned up to start work. I gave up my space for her as her need was greater than mine, but what about the cars parked there who had no need? I ended up in a LOT of pain that morning having had to walk well beyond my comfort level, to the degree that my boss took one look as I got to my desk and told me to sit down & she would collect the post (usually I do that) and make my tea on her way back, and that I wasn't to move for at least an hour except for the loo.

The entitlement and/or resentment some people have over using disabled parking spaces can be breath-taking. There is one person who brings someone who visits our building 2 afternoons a week (not staff) who insists on parking his car in one of the disabled bays then sitting in it as long as their passenger is in the building - even if the only free one is further from the doors than a non-disabled bay. No badge of course, and was aggressive and sweary to me when I reminded him about the bays. Also told me he was "just waiting for someone" - for 3 hours. Unfortunately we have no way of stopping people using our work car park, and the reason for visiting is valid, so there isn't really much we can do.

lorenzosoil · 15/03/2025 16:35

No I would have in a heartbeat - tell her to mind her own business

Rainingalldayonmyhead · 15/03/2025 16:37

Sorry but this is what is all that is wrong with the world.

‘ I know I did wrong but being entitled I justified it and am now angry someone who pointed out how I was completely wrong and then inconsiderate was rude. ‘

LadyMary50 · 15/03/2025 16:39

AppleDumplings · 15/03/2025 16:29

I used to have a Blue Badge when I needed it so feel qualified to comment. I don't doubt for a moment you would have moved if needed. Don't over think it. They may have been having a bad day or are just a misery guts. Good on you for trying to give your son some independence in such a challenging age. Mine is all grown up but I don't envy parents with young children nowadays.

This has nothing to do with parenting young children.My husband has a blue badge as he needs the extra space to fully open the door to be able to lift his leg out(he has no feeling in it).I saw some stickers on-line which say”not disabled just a cunt” which I will be buying as the amount of people using disabled spaces is getting ridiculous.

Laserwho · 15/03/2025 16:40

AppleDumplings · 15/03/2025 16:29

I used to have a Blue Badge when I needed it so feel qualified to comment. I don't doubt for a moment you would have moved if needed. Don't over think it. They may have been having a bad day or are just a misery guts. Good on you for trying to give your son some independence in such a challenging age. Mine is all grown up but I don't envy parents with young children nowadays.

If the 10 year old wanted independence he could have easily walked to a normal parking spot. He's 10 year old not 4. My kids walked to school alone at that age, walking to a slightly further parking spot isn't teaching independence it's making an excuse

LillyPJ · 15/03/2025 16:41

I can see that it didn't really affect anyone else then, but it's setting a bad example. You really didn't need to park there. Park elsewhere and explain to your children why some spaces are special.

JillAndJenTheFlowerpotMen · 15/03/2025 16:41

YABU. But you already knew that.

Quinlan · 15/03/2025 16:41

Was there any need for you to be in the bay? No. You don’t have a badge so no.

If you don’t want comments then don’t do shitty, selfish things. Because that’s what you did. I hope you never require a blue badge and a disabled space. I hope you’re never left unable to use a service and just have to drive home because you cannot find a space to accommodate your needs. Because you’ll often find someone using the space you need for “just a minute” as they’re “just waiting for someone.”

SherlockHomies · 15/03/2025 16:44

Of course she is right and I wouldn’t do it again, no matter what the circumstances but ffs was there any need.

Well she clearly felt the need.

There was no need to start this thread considering you knew you were in the wrong, but you did it anyway 🤷‍♂️

Dutchhouse14 · 15/03/2025 16:44

You know you shouldnt have parked there but no harm was done, a few minutes, when there were lots of available disabled spaces.
And tbh how was the woman walking casually past to know you didn't have a hidden disability?!
Maybe next time tell your son roughly where you will be in the car park.
It's great to increase his independence. I think you were unlucky to get someone commenting on it in the circumstances.
Try not to dwell

verysmellyjelly · 15/03/2025 16:48

Incredibly unreasonable and selfish.

TurbulentPriest · 15/03/2025 16:54

Bailamosse · 15/03/2025 15:47

No, you don’t take up a disabled spot for a nice little teaching moment for your son.

Nor object when a passerby then takes the opportunity for a nice little teaching moment for her grandchild! 😜

Sirzy · 15/03/2025 16:57

If you don’t have a blue badge then don’t park in a disabled space.

I don’t know why so many people struggle with that so much as it’s something that has a very clear criteria and evidence along with a very very clear purpose.

x2boys · 15/03/2025 16:58

Dutchhouse14 · 15/03/2025 16:44

You know you shouldnt have parked there but no harm was done, a few minutes, when there were lots of available disabled spaces.
And tbh how was the woman walking casually past to know you didn't have a hidden disability?!
Maybe next time tell your son roughly where you will be in the car park.
It's great to increase his independence. I think you were unlucky to get someone commenting on it in the circumstances.
Try not to dwell

Because the Op didn't have a blue badge ,it's a blue badge space.

Sebsaloysius · 15/03/2025 17:00

I have a blue badge which I would gladly let you have, but I'd have to insist you have my disability too.

I have lost count (as I'm sure most BB holders have) of the times that all the disabled spaces are occupied and I've either had to abandon my trip, or if I'm lucky, park in a normal space when there's one close enough for me to walk to where I need to get to.

It may well be that this lady was a BB holder, but when she arrived at the leisure centre earlier, all the disabled spaces were occupied, meaning she had to park elsewhere.

If I'd been her and saw you parked in a space without a badge when I hadn't been able to park there previously, I'd have been tempted to say something to you as well. But I wouldn't, I haven't and I probably never will (because some people are just vile and knowing my luck, I'd end up having my disabilities added to).

So no, please don't park in those spaces even if it is just for a minute or two.

SparklyGlitterballs · 15/03/2025 17:02

Whilst the grandma was correct, it was rude of her to say it aloud as she had no idea whether you needed the space for a hidden disability. You could have parked slightly further away in a regular space and walked to the entrance to meet your son.

Having said that, if there were 10 disabled bays and only one in use, then it was hurting no-one if you parked in one for less than a minute.

Remagirl · 15/03/2025 17:03

I have a blue badge and wouldn't have used my badge to allow me to use the bay for the purpose you describe. Whilst I wouldn't have commented if I'd seen you, you do need to give your head a wobble.

x2boys · 15/03/2025 17:06

SparklyGlitterballs · 15/03/2025 17:02

Whilst the grandma was correct, it was rude of her to say it aloud as she had no idea whether you needed the space for a hidden disability. You could have parked slightly further away in a regular space and walked to the entrance to meet your son.

Having said that, if there were 10 disabled bays and only one in use, then it was hurting no-one if you parked in one for less than a minute.

The Op didn't have a blue badge so therefore can't park there regardless of how many hidden disabilities she doesn't have ,someone can't just decide to park in one ,
If theu feel their disabilities warrant a blue badge thsn apply for one.

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