If you're single, how many people have a relationship you are genuinely envious of?

[TheAmusedQuail]

I've known of 2 couples over the years that I've known and thought, that is what a relationship should be.

The first was a couple who were having a baby together in their 40s. They'd both been divorced, but had found each other, and were blissfully happy. He died the year after, but... for that moment in time, I was envious of their relationship.

The second is a married couple that I worked with. They are genuinely happily married. She's a dumpy little thing and he honestly feels she is gorgeous and very clever. He's geeky but she totally respects and fancies him. I've known them for over 10 years and have never seen anything to dissuade me about how good their relationship is.

However, these are literally the only 2 couples where I've thought, that is a really good relationship. I'm sure most of the people I know who are married are happy together, but I see those relationships and would hate to be in them.

So YABU - there are plenty of enviable LTR around.
YANBU - most LTR are not worth having.

You’re looking through your own lens and are only going to see what fits your narrative.

Definitely. But I'm open to seeing something good although honestly, it seems very rare.

Not envious of any 🤣 but I like my own space too much.. never liked the idea of having someone around all the time

I only know of three relationships that seem to be loving and equally supportive of each other.

The vast majority seem to have one partner who does more than the other to maintain the relationship/support the other person's ambitions.

It's not something I envy.

None. Most of them have good relationships, but I'm just not interested in having that. No relationship is better for me.

A ‘dumpy little thing’?

None. Haven't voted as I'm sure there's good ones out there but honestly can't think of any that I know.

Exactly, wtf?

People put on a show. I find it bizarre that anyone would think they know the true nature of my marriage by what they see in public.

Only two

Most tbh 🤣

The language you use makes you sound quite unkind and judgemental, which maybe points toward a feeling of bitterness that you are somehow single whilst even some dumpy little thing can bag herself a man.

Goddamn that dumpy little thing having a loving, happy relationship. Wtf?!

I’m divorced and I do envy other people’s relationships, where there seems (from outside) to be equity and support. I’m definitely evaluating on the bits of their marriages that I didn’t seem to have (a husband who pulls his weight, takes an equal share of responsibility, shows up for stuff, etc.) I feel the absence of another adult in the house when parenting is having a tough couple of days, so yes, definitely a bit of envy here.

Mate, if you can’t see past what clothes size someone takes, you don’t have much of a chance comprehending the secret or public face of any LTR.

She's a dumpy little thing…

Huh? Why the hell would you describe another woman like that? Oh, she’s a dumpy little thing but it’s ok because at least someone loves her 🙄

How you described her partner wasn’t much better. You do know that “dumpy” and “geeky” people are perfectly loveable don’t you? I’m not sure why you’d find it remarkable.

A lesson for you perhaps that genuine love is not about looks and some people are just unlucky not to find their perfect match.

🙄🙄If it makes you happy to think that, you crack on. Fine by me.

They have a point. You should re-read your OP.

That WAS my point. They both think that their partner is perfect. It's a lovely thing to see.

Exactly. My friend and her husband are very equitable. If anything, he's more family focused and domestic than she is. Possibly that is why they are so happy. They're both career driven.

dumpy little thing

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Envious of none, the relationships I see around me all involve a level of compromise I'm simply not interested in making.

People who settled for various reasons, turn a blind eye to things I couldn't, have compromised to a point that resentment has set in. Some seem to prefer this to being single, some have found themselves trapped I think.

But I actually can't think of a relationship that seems healthy, respectful, and equal. Which is really sad. And actually if I can see these issues from the outside it makes me wonder what's going on behind closed doors.

I'm widowed and miss the talk with a grown-up, but can't think of a single relationship in my social orbit that makes me think: that's a good one. And that's just looking at what's on show.

Basically what @Finmory said.

Similar to @echt
Quite surprised at the number of old friends that are actually not in any kind of relationship. Sister is on her second marriage, a vast improvement to her first! Brother married for over 25 years.
I have been widowed for over 20 years with no desire to repeat the marriage experience.
Generally only know one party to any coupled relationship, so cannot comment.