To have ditched twat DH at the airport and gone on holiday without him?

[AskingForTacos]

I’m 32 and have never had a holiday abroad. It’s a combination of things really, growing up I had 2 disabled siblings and it wasn’t practical or financially possible to travel. Had a couple of caravan holidays in the rain but hated them as it unsettled my siblings and everybody was stressed.

Became a single mum at 21 (DD now 11), so once again couldn’t afford holidays. Met DH 4 years ago and we have a 2 year old DS. DH has been well-travelled over the years, but hasn’t had a holiday since meeting me as we’ve been saving up for general life expenses. The end of last year I have a bereavement and became quite sentimental, emotional about my children and general life experiences and sort of had a “grab life by the reins” moment and told DH I wanted to have a sunny family holiday together, and he agreed. We’re both a bit tight and I also don’t cope with overly hot weather (anything above 25 degrees is too much) so have chosen to go in March and set off early this morning. And before anybody asks yes I’m going to pay the fine from DD school.

Flight was with Ryanair. I had a checked bag for mine and the toddler’s stuff, DD had a 10kg carry on. Mine and DD’s bags were full but within guidelines. DH travels light so decided to just take a personal bag and filled it to the brim. He even ordered some sort of zip extension thing from Amazon to make it close more than it naturally should. I’m sure you can see where this is going.

Me, DD and the baby sail through the gate and he gets stopped. I asked, in fact, begged him to just pay the extra charge so we could be on our way, we could afford it. It could’ve just been chalked up a lesson learnt, but no, he had to be a dick about it. He was abusive to staff and called a girl who only looked about 20 a “jobsworth bitch”. At this point, he was told he would not be travelling (rightly so). He changed his tune then and tried to pay the fine but they weren’t having it. It was like an episode of Airline circa 1999. He then started an irritating speech about how it’s disgraceful etc etc and tried to get us all escorted out with him. I initially was going to go with him because I was stressed but DD was absolutely devastated as she’s been looking forward to the holiday for months. She started crying and I decided me and the kids would still go.

We arrived a few hours ago and are settled in our hotel but I’m on edge. I’ve spoken to him on the phone and he thinks I was a cow for leaving him. He’s coming out tomorrow on a different flight (from a different airport...) and I’m dreading it. On the phone he said we should’ve all gone out tomorrow together. It’s only a 7 night holiday and who knows when the next one will be so for me every second counts especially as we wanted a combination of excursions and chilling days in the resort. If we flew out tomorrow we'd only get 2 resort days not to mention paying for all new flights. He’s not physically abusive or anything like that, I’m not scared, I just can’t be arsed listening to the moaning. Was I wrong to go without him?

Op has said his issues are with service staff and that he steps up as a step dad so maybe let's not make things up. All kids love holidays of course the kid will be happy. Op is here deliberately setting a scene for us that this man is awful, she'd rather he's not there, bad mouthing him in a way that actually is quite nasty considering she's married to him. Ok yes he's out of line with the airline staff but if you hate him this much and you're all much better off without him then you won't need him for anything else then will you..

I wonder if H has read the thread? Its been published in the DM i think i saw it

This is a man who claims to be 'well travelled'?
Absolutely ridiculous of him to throw a strop. You should tell him you won't have a word said about it other than a profuse apology to you and your children.

I think you are with my ex. Abusive to hotel/ restaurant / call centre ppl, the second things don’t go as he wants. Entitled, critical. Demanding. Mine would see peeling paint or the wrong view in a hotel and demand a free upgrade. Anything going wrong is someone else’s fault, often mine, just for being in the vicinity. Nice often enough to make me think it’s a blip when he was a pig. That’s calculated. Even monsters have to play nicely now and again. They can’t keep the mask of nice on all the time either..why they get women into a relationship and preferably pregnant so they can stop pretending. All that rage is exhausting, plus they hate being alone. So the mask is still used between rages. I used to imagine they kept recordings of his calls with call centre staff for training purposes more than anyone else’s . Road rage the second he’s behind a wheel. OK with children but that’s to get them on side and mould them. Dogs hate him..they sense the monster.
And an absolute horror to me if he thought I had disrespected him…disrespect could be correcting him on the time of an appointment, or saying anything other than’yes, dear’ in front of other people.
You are awesome. Doing the right thing. If he’s a pain when he arrives, I’d grey rock.

Goody asked a question. She didn't "make things up." As for the rest of your post making out it's OP in the wrong, it seems there's no limit to the bad male behaviour that misogynists like yourself will try to blame on women.

Ahh yes. That explains some of the latest posts that have appeared on the thread.

I thought she had asked for them to delete it ? Though I suppose many will have already seen it, it’s shabby of them if it’s still there

Where did OP use the word 'paddy'?

I agree that normally calling posters out for spelling mistakes or grammatical errors is crass. However, the poster that is being criticised has been constantly derailing the thread with ridiculous assertions about OP going on holiday during term-time and the massively detrimental impact it will have on her DD's educational achievements.

If I were that poster, I would have made sure that my spelling and grammar were beyond reproach before denigrating the educational achievements of the posters (and the achievements of their children) that responded to her.

It wasn't the OP but another poster that used the offensive term paddy.

Im defo not in fact i don't often stick up for men but the narrative is clear. Ops no fool... I'm sorry you' feel the need to attack because someone dared stick for a man.. thats not misogynistic, I'm not having a go at the op because she's a woman and that's what misogynistic behaviour stems from. If op was a man i would have said far worse. Please stop over using the term because it takes away from the genuine issues women face by making the term a joke because its so overused. I don't need permission to have an opinion and be scared to pull up another female in case I'm accused of being misogynistic.

Shocked u didn’t tell him not to bother, think seriously if it’s the best for yr children to stay with someone like him.

I don't need permission to have an opinion and be scared to pull up another female in case I'm accused of being misogynistic.

Anyone referring to women as 'females' has a giant red flag for misogyny, it's such a giveaway.

Not that we needed any clues; the misogyny was dripping from the post that blamed the OP for not wanting to be around a man that behaves abusively to others and uses phrases like 'jobsworth bitch'.

We had a trip planned to London with activities arranged . The night before DP had a Brit and said he wasn’t coming.

How would you feel if I said that?

I understood it would be a late arrival due to transfers,maybe just catching up, but hopefully all is well.

Confused.

I don't think the word 'paddy' is acceptable in this context by the way, but I've read all the OP's posts and she didn't use it at any point.

It was another poster that used the offensive term paddy.

Oh OK, that makes more sense!

You pull me up for saying females in the same post as complaining about a man saying jobs worth bitch. You're the same ..., I didn't mean any offence by saying female..I had no idea saying female was a red.flag. I think you need serious help if that's how you bench mark a red flag. The issues FEMALES face and this is what you bring it to ?

One of the issues women face is incels and Tate-devotees spreading misogyny across the internet and a real giveaway in their language is the way they use the term 'females'. Probably also the kind of person who would call a young woman doing her job a bitch. Both are animalising terms that diminish women's humanity. It's often accompanied by attempts to minimise problematic behaviour eg. by saying women have bigger issues to worry about and shouldn't complain about something trivial - though the issue often is not trivial at all. The way that people speak about women and girls in casual conversation is actually pretty significant. This thread has got very linguistic, I realise.

Anyway, it's often a clue to who's really posting when someone pops up on Mumsnet justifying a man's abusive behaviour and referring in the same breath to 'us females'.

Good for you standing up against his unreasonable behaviour and for putting your children first. It's a shame that your children had to witness that scene and I do hope he is going to apologise to both you and them for putting them through this.

Well done OP for standing up for yourself and your DCs and going on without that buffoon.
I do hope all is ok and you update us soon.

Where is the OP? Hope you’re ok Op and he didn’t tear a strip off you last night.

He sounds like a complete dick.

OP I’d be seriously considering my options. Why stay with such a fun sponge?

No point being in a beautiful location with a thorn in your side, constantly chipping away at your happiness.

I hate tight people. Money and love are synonymous in my book and if he couldn’t love you enough to pay and admit his mistake, he’s got serious issues. Do you want to carry this baggage around forever? He’s a miserly misery guts. LTB.

He will be ranging but should be embarrassed. He frightened and upset his children and you. He needs to acknowledge his behaviour and that it was wrong and needs to say it to the kids too. Am sure they will fret that it will recur on the homebound flight.

Get this out of the way when he arrives and agree that that will be an end to it as it doesn't need to impact on the holiday any further

The measure of a person is how they deal with their poor choices and mistakes. You will get the measure of him

Me and you could be friends lol I have the same twat at home to huni it's nippy. X