To have ditched twat DH at the airport and gone on holiday without him?

[AskingForTacos]

I’m 32 and have never had a holiday abroad. It’s a combination of things really, growing up I had 2 disabled siblings and it wasn’t practical or financially possible to travel. Had a couple of caravan holidays in the rain but hated them as it unsettled my siblings and everybody was stressed.

Became a single mum at 21 (DD now 11), so once again couldn’t afford holidays. Met DH 4 years ago and we have a 2 year old DS. DH has been well-travelled over the years, but hasn’t had a holiday since meeting me as we’ve been saving up for general life expenses. The end of last year I have a bereavement and became quite sentimental, emotional about my children and general life experiences and sort of had a “grab life by the reins” moment and told DH I wanted to have a sunny family holiday together, and he agreed. We’re both a bit tight and I also don’t cope with overly hot weather (anything above 25 degrees is too much) so have chosen to go in March and set off early this morning. And before anybody asks yes I’m going to pay the fine from DD school.

Flight was with Ryanair. I had a checked bag for mine and the toddler’s stuff, DD had a 10kg carry on. Mine and DD’s bags were full but within guidelines. DH travels light so decided to just take a personal bag and filled it to the brim. He even ordered some sort of zip extension thing from Amazon to make it close more than it naturally should. I’m sure you can see where this is going.

Me, DD and the baby sail through the gate and he gets stopped. I asked, in fact, begged him to just pay the extra charge so we could be on our way, we could afford it. It could’ve just been chalked up a lesson learnt, but no, he had to be a dick about it. He was abusive to staff and called a girl who only looked about 20 a “jobsworth bitch”. At this point, he was told he would not be travelling (rightly so). He changed his tune then and tried to pay the fine but they weren’t having it. It was like an episode of Airline circa 1999. He then started an irritating speech about how it’s disgraceful etc etc and tried to get us all escorted out with him. I initially was going to go with him because I was stressed but DD was absolutely devastated as she’s been looking forward to the holiday for months. She started crying and I decided me and the kids would still go.

We arrived a few hours ago and are settled in our hotel but I’m on edge. I’ve spoken to him on the phone and he thinks I was a cow for leaving him. He’s coming out tomorrow on a different flight (from a different airport...) and I’m dreading it. On the phone he said we should’ve all gone out tomorrow together. It’s only a 7 night holiday and who knows when the next one will be so for me every second counts especially as we wanted a combination of excursions and chilling days in the resort. If we flew out tomorrow we'd only get 2 resort days not to mention paying for all new flights. He’s not physically abusive or anything like that, I’m not scared, I just can’t be arsed listening to the moaning. Was I wrong to go without him?

Yup totally agree. x

I noticed this, too. DD's the happiest ever, DS is being adventurous, OP's loving that her kids are happy and Victor Meldrew's nowhere to be seen ... Could this be a foretaste of family life to come?

OP, you need to speak with Women's aid, you and your children are in an abusive relationship.
Your daughter deserves so much better than this.
An unplanned pregnancy is not a good enough reason for your daughter to be exposed to this.

I humiliated him and that’s his issue

This lack of regard for the people around him is quite something.

I can imagine watching my DH kick off like a giant toddler infront of a queue of holiday makers, calling people names & frothing while he tries to boss me about & demands I also disembark would be humiliating too.
I would be very upset & expect an apology.

But sorry, let's not allow other peoples feelings to detract from his pity party. This is the OPs husbands show after all and we are merely NPCs...

I find it extraordinarily egregious that your DH, knowing that this trip was something very brand-new for you and your DC, especially how DD has never had this experience, and knowing what your DH knows about DD's bio father, that DH would have done everything he could to make sure this trip happened and that it was the best trip he could make it be. That he would move heaven and Earth so his family could have one-tenth the experiences he's already enjoyed. That, even if he lost his cool, he'd realize his mistake, apologize to you, tell you he's glad you went on ahead and say he'll try to do better about getting angry at service staff in the future.

That's a bare minimum, IMO.

Just want to say I think you did the right thing and well done for going with the kids x

And imagine the expense it would have been to buy new flights for everyone! This was the most sensible option

Oh dear, what a shame, never mind..

😄

no you were not wrong to go without him!

I would brace yourself for him being quite disagreeable and potentially shouty when it arrives and quietly check now if there's a spare room where you're staying that you could insist he move to if need be.

He humiliated himself. You are mature enough to not be drawn into his childish tantrums ☺️

Surely he could've taken a taxi?

I hope he gets blisters on his wild trek and public transport.

Absolutely fabulous, I really admire this!👍

Hopefully he'll have had a night to calm down and see HE was the one being unreasonable. I hope you all manage to put it behind you and have a nice holiday.

He has hopefully learnt actions ==> consequences. Don't be a dick if you can't take the comeback.

Darling, he freaking humiliated you! AND your children. Do you want your children to grow up thinking that this kind of behaviour is acceptable?

Hopefully after a day or two to dwell on it he may have realised he was out of order and be ready to apologise. Even in this day and age that is not impossible.

omg Airline circa 1999 with Jane Bolton haha! He sounds terrible he should of been quiet paid and off u guys went

Prep him OP, text him you’re all loving the food, service, rooms and facilities and that you won’t be listening to any moaning he has and that he will be on his own if he starts complaining and ruining your holiday.

This. I wouldn’t call myself well travelled, but I’ve flown many times and know to abide by rules. Being vile and abusive is never on, but particularly when HE’s in the wrong! how excruciatingly embarrassing to behave like that with staff just doing their jobs. He doesn’t sound like a good role model for either of your children.

I wouldn’t just leave him at the airport, I’d leave him full stop!

Because when you got home and looked at the rebooking it would have all been 'too much money' and 'too much stress' so easier not to actually go at all... after all that's what he wanted.

Also he hadn't finished berating you and wanted to carry on ruining your experience.

However I suspect not. The way that he's saying that they will talk about it suggests to me that he still doesn't think that he's in the wrong. I so feel for OP, she must be feeling terrible & worried about what will happen when he finally arrives at their holiday destination.

My concern is that he will be even more wound up by having to take local buses etc to the destination. I have serious concerns for OP she's in an abusive relationship & I so hope that she gets herself & her children out of it.

He's a complete wanker.

And leaving a distraught DD because He couldn’t close his mouth?

Hopefully tomorrow he will be arriving apologetic 😤

AFT you sound lovely and so invested in your kids happiness and life experiences. Be proud of yourself and don’t let the fucker get you down.