To have ditched twat DH at the airport and gone on holiday without him?

[AskingForTacos]

I’m 32 and have never had a holiday abroad. It’s a combination of things really, growing up I had 2 disabled siblings and it wasn’t practical or financially possible to travel. Had a couple of caravan holidays in the rain but hated them as it unsettled my siblings and everybody was stressed.

Became a single mum at 21 (DD now 11), so once again couldn’t afford holidays. Met DH 4 years ago and we have a 2 year old DS. DH has been well-travelled over the years, but hasn’t had a holiday since meeting me as we’ve been saving up for general life expenses. The end of last year I have a bereavement and became quite sentimental, emotional about my children and general life experiences and sort of had a “grab life by the reins” moment and told DH I wanted to have a sunny family holiday together, and he agreed. We’re both a bit tight and I also don’t cope with overly hot weather (anything above 25 degrees is too much) so have chosen to go in March and set off early this morning. And before anybody asks yes I’m going to pay the fine from DD school.

Flight was with Ryanair. I had a checked bag for mine and the toddler’s stuff, DD had a 10kg carry on. Mine and DD’s bags were full but within guidelines. DH travels light so decided to just take a personal bag and filled it to the brim. He even ordered some sort of zip extension thing from Amazon to make it close more than it naturally should. I’m sure you can see where this is going.

Me, DD and the baby sail through the gate and he gets stopped. I asked, in fact, begged him to just pay the extra charge so we could be on our way, we could afford it. It could’ve just been chalked up a lesson learnt, but no, he had to be a dick about it. He was abusive to staff and called a girl who only looked about 20 a “jobsworth bitch”. At this point, he was told he would not be travelling (rightly so). He changed his tune then and tried to pay the fine but they weren’t having it. It was like an episode of Airline circa 1999. He then started an irritating speech about how it’s disgraceful etc etc and tried to get us all escorted out with him. I initially was going to go with him because I was stressed but DD was absolutely devastated as she’s been looking forward to the holiday for months. She started crying and I decided me and the kids would still go.

We arrived a few hours ago and are settled in our hotel but I’m on edge. I’ve spoken to him on the phone and he thinks I was a cow for leaving him. He’s coming out tomorrow on a different flight (from a different airport...) and I’m dreading it. On the phone he said we should’ve all gone out tomorrow together. It’s only a 7 night holiday and who knows when the next one will be so for me every second counts especially as we wanted a combination of excursions and chilling days in the resort. If we flew out tomorrow we'd only get 2 resort days not to mention paying for all new flights. He’s not physically abusive or anything like that, I’m not scared, I just can’t be arsed listening to the moaning. Was I wrong to go without him?

Sorry - he sounds like a complete penis. You did the right thing - enjoy your holiday!

Truly OP, I could not live like this, something has to give. I think I'd give him an ultimatum and tell him is a rude and nasty obnoxious prick and he embarrasses you, stresses you out and is a bad role model to your DC and he needs to do a hard 180 and right fucking now or you're seriously considering divorce. That he goes around calling women bitches shows he's a misogynist chauvinist pig. Think of the affect he has on your children. Think of them, if you can't do it for yourself. He really does sound like an absolute pig and garbage, and I would be saying something changes (whether he gets anger therapy or whatever and starts behaving like a human being capable of being out in society) or he's out.

You seem remarkably unbothered by what nasty behaviour he displays.

Have only read the OPs posts, but one of them stood out for me - the one where she said he made a drama out of everything, even when driving her to the hospital when she was in labour. My ex DP used to do exactly this, and it was because the attention wasn't on him at the time, so he'd MAKE it about him. I'd bet my bottom dollar there are more traits in your DH OP that you're not saying (and don't need to obvs) but I'd bet they hit all the red flags of a covert narcissist

Good point. I think OP really needs to think of her children and get away from this vile pig that clearly wasn't socialised properly by his parents. If she can't do it for herself, she needs to put her children first and do it for them. OP do you realise your DC have had so many outings ruined by him, and that children retain these memories for life? These will be their childhood memories. Is this what you want their childhood and childhood memories to be about? Is that enough to motivate you to do something about your situation/marriage and family life to this disgusting pig?

Oh FFS🙄. Not another completely useless comment!!

Good job going without him. Enjoy your holiday but I hope when you get home you seriously make plans to end your relationship with this sorry excuse of a man.

Well done you!
I'm truly inspired by this.
When he arrives tomorrow, just stay calm, sweet smile on your face, and be blasé about the whole thing- "oh well, these things happen/ ahhhh so good you made it!" Etc etc.
Hope you and kids have a great time (he will try and spoil it, mind, but just try and make it worthwhile for your kids, they deserve that from you)
You've taken a stand- don't back down on it, and now he knows the consequences of being a twat...so ensure you feed that fear...don't apologise at all, not even once.
Have fun op!

That's an interesting perspective....I know a man who does that a lot.
What's the psychology behind that @AyeDeadOn ?

What an arse he is, well done for going ahead, OP

lets hope if he gets to travel with Ryanair again, they’ll put him in seat 11a
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

One of them did - and no it doesn’t necessarily- education doesn’t all happen in school

So, as long as he isn't abusive to you, it's okay for him to be abusive to others and he still makes you miserable in the process.

And you are married to him, why?

You are teaching your children that service staff have zero value to people because you have stayed with a rude, unpleasant twat waffle of a man.
I also believe that it IS mental and emotional abuse when you have to be there while he has his tamper tantrums.

You and your children deserve so much better. I hope he cannot get a flight and has to stay home. As another PP mentioned, they may not allow him to come back on that first ticket he had with you all.

He's an absolute embarrassment who needs to reconsider both his disgusting attitude towards service staff, and the impact of his shitty behaviour on his family. He sounds like a colossal bellend with no regard for anyone but himself. I hope they put him on a no fly list and you get to enjoy your holiday in peace.

The majority of mumsnetters are aspirational middle class and completely out of touch with reality. They are absolutely terrified of upsetting what they see as the authorities and will do their best to force everybody else into lock step with them. They imagine that complete obedience to the state will move them up the social ladder and keep them safe from nasty independent thinkers.

Communists of old were much the same, while claiming there were no class systems within the communist system, the reality was that those who on good terms with the polit bureau always had more money and better social standing and felt safer. That's what Red Guard of mumsnet wishes for the UK.

When it comes to schools, many mumsnetters are basically the Red Guard of the UK wishing for people to have their parental rights stripped from them in favour of the state and happy to inform upon anyone they see as getting away with having parental choices that overrule the state.

Mumsnetters generally are completely in thrall to the government. It is a bizarre little world and only exists in mumsnetter's heads.

The Red Guard of mumsnet become really vicious and aggravated when they realise that the majority of people just don't give a fuck about missing the odd day, or even week from school, and they have to pretend that it hurts the kids - which of course it does not. It's all they've got to comfort themselves.

The reality is that schools have only existed as they currently do for a couple of hundred years, or less, that the rigidity they bend to is not the norm, and the majority of parents throughout the world have always taken days or weeks off school and been the better, or certainly not the worse for it.

But the Dolores Umbridges of the world, who manifest in their hundreds on mumsnet, cannot bear this reality, so make up stories where everything ends badly for parents and children who do not march like good little comrades to the tune of the state at all times.

As for the man in question, I would not be with a man who immediately resorted to calling a 20 year old woman a bitch, because I very much doubt this is the ony way he manifests misogyny, cruelty and ill tempered behaviour.

Politburo, should have read.

I agree - LTB

You mean he didn't back you up against the woman he called a "jobsworth bitch"? He's a scumbag.

He sounds like a complete prick. If you don’t want him to come at all I’d say that’s very justified!!! I’d probably be thinking is he really for me after that.

Omg, fuss about taking child out of school.
Think of all the Life Lessons she will be learning. Maths, geography, language, all experiences that are irreplaceable. Child could do a diary of trip, remember forever. Well done, Mumma. Shame about the Dad.

And, p.s. I wouldn’t be checking the state of his return ticket for him.

His problem, he caused the fuss.

"united front' 😂why would anyone want to present a united front with an abusive idiot?

Please don't.

If it is cancelled he can find out at the airport.