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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have ditched twat DH at the airport and gone on holiday without him?

1000 replies

AskingForTacos · 14/03/2025 16:07

I’m 32 and have never had a holiday abroad. It’s a combination of things really, growing up I had 2 disabled siblings and it wasn’t practical or financially possible to travel. Had a couple of caravan holidays in the rain but hated them as it unsettled my siblings and everybody was stressed.

Became a single mum at 21 (DD now 11), so once again couldn’t afford holidays. Met DH 4 years ago and we have a 2 year old DS. DH has been well-travelled over the years, but hasn’t had a holiday since meeting me as we’ve been saving up for general life expenses. The end of last year I have a bereavement and became quite sentimental, emotional about my children and general life experiences and sort of had a “grab life by the reins” moment and told DH I wanted to have a sunny family holiday together, and he agreed. We’re both a bit tight and I also don’t cope with overly hot weather (anything above 25 degrees is too much) so have chosen to go in March and set off early this morning. And before anybody asks yes I’m going to pay the fine from DD school.

Flight was with Ryanair. I had a checked bag for mine and the toddler’s stuff, DD had a 10kg carry on. Mine and DD’s bags were full but within guidelines. DH travels light so decided to just take a personal bag and filled it to the brim. He even ordered some sort of zip extension thing from Amazon to make it close more than it naturally should. I’m sure you can see where this is going.

Me, DD and the baby sail through the gate and he gets stopped. I asked, in fact, begged him to just pay the extra charge so we could be on our way, we could afford it. It could’ve just been chalked up a lesson learnt, but no, he had to be a dick about it. He was abusive to staff and called a girl who only looked about 20 a “jobsworth bitch”. At this point, he was told he would not be travelling (rightly so). He changed his tune then and tried to pay the fine but they weren’t having it. It was like an episode of Airline circa 1999. He then started an irritating speech about how it’s disgraceful etc etc and tried to get us all escorted out with him. I initially was going to go with him because I was stressed but DD was absolutely devastated as she’s been looking forward to the holiday for months. She started crying and I decided me and the kids would still go.

We arrived a few hours ago and are settled in our hotel but I’m on edge. I’ve spoken to him on the phone and he thinks I was a cow for leaving him. He’s coming out tomorrow on a different flight (from a different airport...) and I’m dreading it. On the phone he said we should’ve all gone out tomorrow together. It’s only a 7 night holiday and who knows when the next one will be so for me every second counts especially as we wanted a combination of excursions and chilling days in the resort. If we flew out tomorrow we'd only get 2 resort days not to mention paying for all new flights. He’s not physically abusive or anything like that, I’m not scared, I just can’t be arsed listening to the moaning. Was I wrong to go without him?

OP posts:
EdithBond · 14/03/2025 18:37

You were right to go without him. He’s the one who was abusive to staff. He paid the price.

Stupid to pay for new flights for you all or upset the kids. You’re not attached at the hip.

When he arrives tell him you now want to relax and enjoy your holiday, so you don’t want to hear another word about it. And he better have some respect for you and the kids by being charm and politeness personified with any staff from now on. It’s perfectly possible to be assertive without being rude and aggressive. If he doesn’t get that, I’m sure he can watch a few YouTube tutorials on his hols.

Now, remember why you’ve taken this holiday. It’s to make happy memories with your kids. Your kids shouldn’t be witnessing abusive behaviour.

Have a wonderful break ❤️

Bogginsthe3rd · 14/03/2025 18:38

Discombobble · 14/03/2025 18:26

I took my children out of school on occasion. 4 graduates, two Firsts, all gainfully employed. Education is not just schooling, other things are also important. And this is not the point of the thread, it’s just an occasion for you to bash someone - feel better?

And maybe if you hadn't taken them out of school they could have gone on to postgraduate studies? The point is at that age the loss of education can really impact.

Maray1967 · 14/03/2025 18:38

Text him a warning right now. If you behave like a dick at any point, we’re done. I will not support your abuse of hotel staff or anyone else, and if you kick off again I will ask the hotel staff to throw you out.

AskingForTacos · 14/03/2025 18:39

Bogginsthe3rd · 14/03/2025 18:38

And maybe if you hadn't taken them out of school they could have gone on to postgraduate studies? The point is at that age the loss of education can really impact.

That is comical 😂

OP posts:
Bluenotgreen · 14/03/2025 18:40

So why are you still with him? He sounds terrible. A whiny moaner with a nasty streak. Why is that appealing to you?

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 14/03/2025 18:40

Tell him he must be as thick as pigshit if he thinks the poor sod serving him has any authority to break rules for him and give him super special service because apparently rules shouldn't apply to him.

How someone treats people working in customer service shows you the unpleasant truth about them.

AskingForTacos · 14/03/2025 18:40

The man who checked us in at the hotel was really lovely and I find myself dreading him being moaned at by DH, he's never fucking happy

OP posts:
Iknowaboutpopular · 14/03/2025 18:41

Bogginsthe3rd · 14/03/2025 18:38

And maybe if you hadn't taken them out of school they could have gone on to postgraduate studies? The point is at that age the loss of education can really impact.

Oh fuck off and beat your drum somewhere else.

paulhollywoodshairgel · 14/03/2025 18:41

Enjoy your holiday ❤️❤️

indigovapour · 14/03/2025 18:42

Bogginsthe3rd · 14/03/2025 18:38

And maybe if you hadn't taken them out of school they could have gone on to postgraduate studies? The point is at that age the loss of education can really impact.

This is hilarious. Are you just deliberately making a tit of yourself? Graduates with firsts can generally do postgraduate stuff if they want to. Perhaps if your parents had taken you out of school a bit more to broaden your horizons you’d be more of a rounded person with a better idea of how things work.

Jeschara · 14/03/2025 18:43

Tell him you expect manners and decent behaviour whilst on holiday and in front of the children.

I would also tell him I expected him never to abuse service staff again as it is embarrasing, and a bad example to the children.

Have a lovely holiday but be firm, you will not be called a cow and if he embarrases you he will be on his own for the duration of the holiday. He has to stop showing himself up. The children also need to know his way is wrong.

Delphinium20 · 14/03/2025 18:43

This is a good lesson for your DH. Tell him you've had it w/ how he treats people in service and you won't be a part of that anymore.

YesHonestly · 14/03/2025 18:44

What an absolute prick of a man.

He verbally abused a young woman like that in front of your daughter?!

AskingForTacos · 14/03/2025 18:44

Bogginsthe3rd · 14/03/2025 18:38

And maybe if you hadn't taken them out of school they could have gone on to postgraduate studies? The point is at that age the loss of education can really impact.

You are aware that if that poster's kids got firsts in their undergraduates then they still would've been able to do postgraduate studies if they wanted? No uni is going to turn down a Masters applicant with a First in their undergraduate just because they had a week in Tenerife in term time during Year 7 😂

OP posts:
EdithBond · 14/03/2025 18:44

AskingForTacos · 14/03/2025 18:36

I'm already seeing little things in the hotel that he'll probably moan at to get a discount. Some chipped paint in the skirting boards, some bird poo in the outside area (which i'm sure will be cleaned up in due course). Little things that don't bother me but will be the end of the word to him

Oh dear! That’s not a good way to be - hyper vigilant about all the things he may kick off about. You should be seeing all the things he’ll love.

Why are you with him? Does he have redeeming features?

Zeroperspective · 14/03/2025 18:44

AskingForTacos · 14/03/2025 18:40

The man who checked us in at the hotel was really lovely and I find myself dreading him being moaned at by DH, he's never fucking happy

I've already posted my thoughts but I've come back to say you really need to start calling him out on this behaviour as it happens if you can? I'd seriously be asking him to stay home and not get the flight out tomorrow, you're gonna be on edge all week just waiting for him to start kicking off, let's face it your on edge now and he's not even there! Tell him to stay home and enjoy your holiday, let him face the consequences of his disgusting behaviour at the airport and deal with him when you get home tanned and relaxed after a week away from the twat

crushedbandicoot · 14/03/2025 18:45

Bogginsthe3rd · 14/03/2025 18:38

And maybe if you hadn't taken them out of school they could have gone on to postgraduate studies? The point is at that age the loss of education can really impact.

Sounds like all that education didn’t help you much.

SuperTrooper14 · 14/03/2025 18:45

Bogginsthe3rd · 14/03/2025 18:38

And maybe if you hadn't taken them out of school they could have gone on to postgraduate studies? The point is at that age the loss of education can really impact.

It's five days out of 190 in the school year and you're worried it's going to seriously impact OP's daughter getting a Master's or PhD. Give over.

ThinWomansBrain · 14/03/2025 18:45

Why would you want to be with someone that thinks it's OK to call a woman a bitch?
Your only concerned about the holiday?

AccountCreateUsername · 14/03/2025 18:45

Bogginsthe3rd · 14/03/2025 18:38

And maybe if you hadn't taken them out of school they could have gone on to postgraduate studies? The point is at that age the loss of education can really impact.

Are you joking @Bogginsthe3rd

I can’t tell, my satire-dar is off lately

ShanghaiDiva · 14/03/2025 18:46

Bogginsthe3rd · 14/03/2025 18:38

And maybe if you hadn't taken them out of school they could have gone on to postgraduate studies? The point is at that age the loss of education can really impact.

Don’t be so ridiculous!

Cucy · 14/03/2025 18:48

I don’t understand why you are with him.

There’s no way I’d let a man like this around my DD.

Your kids deserve better.

treesandsun · 14/03/2025 18:48

It's his fault he didn't fly on the same flight as you so why should you three be inconvenienced because he was a dick. I would say I am happy to support you and have your back but not when you were an utter dick.

MementoMountain · 14/03/2025 18:50

Bogginsthe3rd · 14/03/2025 18:38

And maybe if you hadn't taken them out of school they could have gone on to postgraduate studies? The point is at that age the loss of education can really impact.

That reminds me of saying to a toddler group friend that MiL was cynical about the benefits of breastfeeding, given that her two bottlefed offspring were county sports champions with Oxbridge PhDs.

Friend just quirked an eyebrow and said "And just think what they could have achieved if they'd been breastfed!"

NaomhPadraigin · 14/03/2025 18:50

Bogginsthe3rd · 14/03/2025 18:38

And maybe if you hadn't taken them out of school they could have gone on to postgraduate studies? The point is at that age the loss of education can really impact.

Oh my god, are you still going on???

I missed occasional days in school, have a degree (1st), Master's, PhD and a very good job. It's really not the end of the world!!

(And I'm a Saint 😉, can you tell?)

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