To want 9s not 7s for my child in their GCSEs?

[ZeldaFighter]

Child is a model student and no problems with behaviour or attendance. Definitely seems intelligent and diligently completes homework, often without prompting.

Report is 6s and 7s. Husband is pleased and says they're As and Bs. He thinks only kids in private schools doing extended papers get 9s.

I got As, Bs and Cs many years ago but I always strived for As. AIBU to think they should be getting 9s or at least striving for them?

This 💯. I would rather have a happy, well rounded child than someone stressed out by exam and parent pressure.

Without knowing what your DC's ability is, we can't possibly know.

My (state school) DS is a model student in school in the sense that he does what he's told and finishes his homework on time. He does fuck all study beyond that. He's getting some 9s in his GCSE mocks, some more in the 6-7 range. And quite the opposite of stressed: a little anxiety about or at least mild interest in his grades would do him good. I can't convince him to think beyond will he get into college, which of course he will - but if he has better GCSEs he will have more options beyond that. Not to mention building independent study ability and self control and skills like that which he will need.

If yours is like mine you're not at all unreasonable to wish they'd aspire higher.
On the other hand there are plenty out there working their socks off and getting 6-7s and in that case you should be delighted with their diligence. In the wider world, those students will do well because they know how to graft.

If I remember correctly from all the stuff that came out when they introduced the new grading, this is exactly why they’re using numbers: so they can eventually add grade 10, 11 etc.

Get your child in the rat race early-it will be good for them! 😁
Honestly, unless the young person themselves really wants to get into a very competitive career like medicine it really won't matter in the long run if they get 7s or 9s.
In the older system I know people with 10 A*s and people with a mix of As Bs and Cs who became teachers for example and it wasn't always the people with the most academic qualifications who went for promotion and moved forward in their careers.
I've also seen young people put under too much pressure burn out.
What do you want long term and what does your child want?
Also avoid living through your child, if you want a challenge find one for yourself.

Maybe your kid just isn't bright enough for 9s.

That said, i would consider 7s the low end of an A/top end of a B really.

An 8 is a high A/low A, a 9 is a solid A*.

The government created the 4/5 split in a desperate bid to create a lower level at which you can claim a "pass" in GCSE maths and stop studying it.

I think a levels matter more than GCSEs? For uni? Or do some unis want top grade GCSEs too?

Mocks are not always an indicator of success, I got Ds in all of mine and A*s in the actual exams as with ADHD I didn’t see the mocks as a proper exam so didn’t study or try.

I think it’s fine to quietly want better if you have equipped your child with the tools for it (I.e. tutoring to make up up for any lack of schooling, a positive attitude that encourages him to always try his best, and a home environment that allows him to study without pressure). His mock grades are decent and you should be happy with those and not pressure him to get 9s even if you equip him with the ability to get them- he needs to want it for himself.

Is this a wind up?

When you apply for uni the only grades you actually have in the bag are your GCSEs. So they will take notice of them.

Stop pressuring the poor kid. The most you should expect is for him to try his best.

You can consider things as much as you want.
But the 6-7 boundary was pegged at the old B-A one, and the 3-4 at the old D-C.

Also... the number is irrelevant really.

What matters is the percentage of kids given each level. 5% get a 9, another 7.1 get 8.

When A* was first introduced for GCSEs only 2.9% of entries got it, so even less than get a 9 now.

If he's already a good student who completes homework unprompted then he is likely working to the best of his ability. Adding pressure to get 9s that he may not be capable of will only make him feel like a failure if he doesn't achieve them and risks him burning out trying.

Why not concentrate on advising him to work hard and try his best and let him know you'll be proud of him whatever grade that results in?

Remember 7s at a state school are as good as a 9 at an independent school, further education establishments know this.

What are these "extended papers" your husband is referring to?

Your child should aim for his potential regardless what grades he gets. Not being put under pressure to perform above his ability.

If he's already a good student who completes homework unprompted then he is likely working to the best of his ability.

Depends which year. In year 9 this would be great. By year 11, they're supposed to be studying for the exams themselves. Like, actually revising, checking their knowledge in different areas and trying to fill in their own gaps. That doesn't happen by just completing homework, completing homework is bare minimum to prevent ending up in detention.

What is a “ model student”?

This isn't correct. Alot of children do achieve 9s and if you look at or have experience in the grade boundaries it's achievable with hard work. I'm sure all parents would love all 9s so let's not be too hard on op.

So we know what you think.

We also know what your DH thinks.

But what does your child think?

what are they aiming for, what do they hope for, what do they consider realistic? They are the ones at the coal face who presumably have the best idea.

I guess your huband thinks that state school children can't get 9's so there is no use to even try. Where as you believe even state school children can get 9's so studying is worth it?

You're not unreasonable to believe that state school children can get 9's. But wether your kids can, impossible to say.

I think that 9s are given to the top 5% of the 8s, or something like that. Very few children are in the top 5% of every subject, and who cares if they are? 2 kids got straight 9s at my DC’s school. One was lovely and one was … not a nice person at all.

Also don’t forget that these poor kids have to write 20+ exams in a 2 month period with NO feedback at all. Then, they have to wait until August(!!) for all their results . In this day and age they can’t get feedback any earlier? Ridiculous. When they do get their results, they have 1 day (wtf) to confirm their college place. The whole experience is soul destroying and hasn’t been updated since the dark ages.

Don’t get me started on how they are taught to pass a test (how to answer an 8 marker, for example) instead of just being taught a subject like I was taught. You can probably tell I am not from the U.K. Everyone I know who didn’t grow up with this system thinks it is awful.

Please don’t add to your child’s stress by expecting 9s.

But not as much notice as predicted A level grades.

My son took 6.

He got 8,7,6,6,6,5

He’s in his first year at UCL now.

As above, what does your child think, or want?
I knew I had to bust a gut to get the grades for the uni course I wanted, which was incredibly competitive. Nothing less than top grades would have been OK for me, I knew what I wanted to do from age of 12, and that was a huge motivator.

To get those top grades, they either have to be exceptionally gifted, or bright with an absolute laser focus on getting the top grades, doing hours of independent study each week on top of set homework. If your child isn't motivated to do that, then they are not going to get 9's. And that's ok.

I also wanted to add that I know so many parents now who have a very poor relationship with the children they pressured into academic greatness. Ask yourself why YOU want them to get 9’s so much and think about whether a 9 trumps healthy mental health in your child. And finally, just in case you’re not already aware but honestly there is very little more boring than a pushy grade obsessed parent.