To want 9s not 7s for my child in their GCSEs?

[ZeldaFighter]

Child is a model student and no problems with behaviour or attendance. Definitely seems intelligent and diligently completes homework, often without prompting.

Report is 6s and 7s. Husband is pleased and says they're As and Bs. He thinks only kids in private schools doing extended papers get 9s.

I got As, Bs and Cs many years ago but I always strived for As. AIBU to think they should be getting 9s or at least striving for them?

Child is a model student and no problems with behaviour or attendance. Definitely seems intelligent and diligently completes homework, often without prompting.

But maybe not of the quality which merits a higher mark than 7s.

Is your DC curious? Interested in stuff for the sake of it? Is your DC an independent reader who enjoys reading books & learning about things? Dp you encourage a wide range of activities, and add family enrichment: art galleries, museums, theatre, engaging activities such as learning an instrument, or dance?

FWIW my child got 1’s and I am so, so proud. Her attendance was below 20% so to pass with a 1 was incredible.

Once the child has their GCSE results and have achieved enough to get to their next stage, you will see GCSEs are just a stepping stone.

Me and my DH were solid 9 kind of students. It's not all it's cracked up to be, especially when it becomes so much of your identity to be the academic super achiever.

Grades don't indicate how intelligent you are, just how good you are at exams an school work. They also don't predict how successful you will be in the long run.

I wanted a more balanced approach for my children so just told them that if as long as they did their best, I would be proud of them. A 5 grade that a student has worked hard for can be worth more than a 9 that comes easily. Don't put that kind of pressure on your kids. It sounds like your child is a decent human being, which is worth far more anyway.

YABU. 7s are good, grades can’t always be perfect

Well I’m pleased my son will be getting 4s and 5s.

DD is doing her GCSEs this year and is predicts between 5-9 depending on the subjects. I know that she is work hard and doing her absolute best and will proud of whatever grades she will get as she will have done her best. However, she is never going to get a 9 in maths as she isn’t that way inclined where as she is very likely to get an 8 if not a 9 in art as this is where her talent/ intelligence lies.

Please stop pressuring your child!

No one really cares about GCSE results beyond getting to the next stage. My child got beyond average GCSEs (only one 8 !) excelled in ALevels, was interviewed by Oxford & is in first year at UCL.

You are putting too much pressure on him.

My DS is achieving distinctions in Engineering which he enjoys.
Apart from that he is predicted anywhere from 4 to 7 across the board.
If he achieves these I will be over the moon. For me as long as he doesn't need to resit Maths and English he will have done brilliantly.
He isn't academic particularly but is trying. That is all I ask. His best.
I would rather have a healthy and happy child who isn't feeling pressured.

9s are like getting A**

They're not bright enough to get all 9s if theyre predicted 7s. 7 are good!

At my DC's GCSE options presentation, they explained the "new" marking scheme and said that a 9 is the equivalent of the top 10% of A*. YABU, not all "bright" children can get 9s across the board.

Ds is in y13 - works his arse off and his anxious (though hides it well) . In his most recent parents' pm, one of his teachers (despite singing his praises) has told him that he needs to strive for an A* , as he is working at an A .
If it was face to face rather than zoom and we weren't cut off after the allotted time period, I would have challenged her pushiness.
NOTHING is worth compromisisng a child's mental health / happiness for.
All the best to your daughter !

My husband nor I have any formal qualifications. We have a successful business with no money worries, mortgages paid off etc. For me a good work ethic is much more important . Our eldest did ok at school, average GCSE’s, average A level results but she wanted to be a teacher and has worked hard in her career and is now a deputy head. Our younger two aren’t particularly academic a couple of 5’s each. Both have ambition and I’ve no doubt they’ll do well in life.

9s are the upper end of the old pre 2018 A star not better than than the pre 2018 A star.

What do you want, ultimately for your DC? To be happy? To be able to move on to the next phase comfortably? To be wealthy? To be well-adjusted? To be better than everyone else? (in a variety of senses). Trust me, I see 14 year olds shaking with anxiety because their parents have "high standards" , I see suicidal teens who can't cope with a day in school, I see unrealistic kids and parents shouting at the school that they want to do A level physics and I am ruining their life because they "passed" maths GCSE with a grade 4...
Love your happy, well adjusted intelligent diligent child.

Only around 5% of grades are awarded at grade 9. This means a very small amount of pupils will achieve them. I know it seems like everyone gets 9s in ‘mumsnet world’ but in real life it’s very few. A grade 7 is actually pretty good.

The emphasis put on grades is so silly. No-one knows or cares what my school grades were and being a top achieving student carries no weight in the real world in the long run. I was a top achieving student at university too and no-one cares about those grades either (unless applying for other courses when they want transcripts).

If I wanted to employ someone, I'd employ the student with 6s that I get a good vibe from over one that has 9s that I get a lesser good feeling about. It doesn't take long before experience counts more (and just knowing you have the right bit of paper to do the job if that's required).

I agree with you OP.

I know someone who works for cahms and alongside all the dysfunctional stuff causing mental health issues, they say that parental pressure is a massive factor.

There is no harm aiming high, as long as dc knows , if they don’t reach those 9s, it does not make them any less of a person. as long as they try their best, that is all that matters.

my ds state school, large fsm cohort and they and a few of their friends most certainly got handful of 9s each. One got all 9s , so totally possible.

Having said that, 7, and 6 are not bad at all - equiv of A and B.

Spot on.
Please lay off the pressure

You could prefer to win the lottery doesn't mean it will happen

They should do their best and aim to get what they need for the next step. I guess you need 9s for medicine but otherwise not. My kid went to private school. Got one 8 the rest at 5-7. Got him into the 6th form of his choice and subsequently into the uni he wanted to go to.

Hopefully your child will find a decent therapist in future.

If I could go back to myself doing my GCSEs it would be to take pressure off rather than pile it on. That A* in English got me fuck all and wasn’t worth the work! A pass is a pass and you need to try hard especially if you want to go to college or do A Levels, but really there isn’t much to be gained from pressuring a kid to do better for no one’s benefit but yours