To wonder if sister murdered or harmed deliberately ?

[Lavenderfarmcottage]

My sister died aged 40 last year during a mental health ward admission/stay for mental health episode. I am not in the UK but an English speaking country with a health system similar.
I was told the hospital report into death would be thorough. Directors said it was likely the diazepam which shouldn’t have been prescribed with suspected sleep apnoea.
Recently spoke to a Journalist and read the report with fresh eyes. On the morning of her death there are conflicting statements about whether she was settled or sleeping. I have attached a photo. This report was signed by 5 executives/ directors at hospital get the report contradicts itself.
I have contacted the coroner and been igbored and the hospital. My Mother has said she thinks it’s suspicious and more than negligence but then stonewalled me and said she wouldn’t enter into discussions until my sister’s house had settled and money disbursed as that is her priority (my Mum & I are only beneficiaries). This is true to form for my Mother but I was upset that and then shut down the conversation. My Mother hasn’t read the report so it was strange for her to have this view.
I recently spoke to a Journalist who went quiet and blanked me when I asked if she’d talk to the hospital. When I asked if it was a police matter she gave me a vague answer saying she hadn’t had time to consider this but it did occur to her.
I note my sisters diazepam (cause for concern flagged in report) was left unchanged at hospital 1 & 2 despite other medications being changed 5 times.
I think what bothering me is the conflicting statements in the report and everyone stonewalling.

I think the diazepam is a read herring and I think the report conflicts because they weren’t ready to tell me what has happened but had to issue a report.

I also received weird texts from a random in the weeks before my sisters death from someone claiming we’d met. They sent me a photo of someone that wasn’t me and claimed that it was me and we’d met at the pool. At the end of the exchange they said they knew my sister and named two places she’d worked. When I showed the photo of this person to my sister she didn’t recognise her.
The above weird texter is one of of many weird contacts. My Dad died suspiciously close to a very large fraud against him that I tried to get a solicitor over. I was told recently that those involved in the fraud had police and government contexts and it’s all very dirty and that anyone who goes near it is shut down. This has been my experience as I tried for years to get answers and here I am.
I think it’s very very unlikely my sister was killed but after the diabolical push back I received regarding my Dad (I’m still not allowed to view his coronial file years later or get answers) and have been blocked from court cases and other info. I have been intimidated etc and so forth and approached over 140 lawyers and coincidentally none can help me. I think maybe anything is possible.

@Lavenderfarmcottage, I'm so very sorry for both your losses.

Knowing nothing of the background, obviously I don't know what happened in either case. But I wouldn't dream of dismissing the possibility that circumstances around your sister's death may not be exactly as you've been told. I, too, have a sister who died (in her 20s) in mental health "care". Systems act to protect themselves - we know that.

Having said that, you need to look after yourself. That may be via looking further into the details of how your sister died, if you need to investigate further in some way (possibly via getting the help of experts, if you can). Or perhaps you can gradually move towards a kind of acceptance of the uncertainty without needing to do that. Either way, this will take time.

It's really hard to accept that all the investigation in the world - even if you were able to get to the absolute truth of what may be a complex, murky situation (in which mental health services may well have played a part in your sister's death - even if no individuals did anything to break the law or deliberately harm) - will not bring back your sister. All you can do is be open to the grief, and live life as best you can, paying attention to what's most important to you.

Thinking of you

OP, your title needs a ‘was’ added!

As it stands, it reads as if you thought your sister committed a murder.

This whole post reads very jumbled and chaotic OP. I think there’s a reason behind why all the lawyers, the journalist, the police, the coroner and your mum have decided to stop responding to your questions about your sister’s death.

I’m so sorry for your loss and the grief and confusion you may be feeling about the passing of your sister and father. It’s dreadful that she died so young and under those circumstances but I think you should seek grief counselling to come to terms with it all.

OP, kindly, you need to see your GP.

You have posted before that you think you are "depressed and in a dark place".

You see conspiracy and collusion in everything - the "weird random" texting you that is 'one of many such contacts' .... the journalist that is blanking you, 5 directors of the hospital signing off what you feel is a bogus report on your sister's death, linking your father's death to your sister's when they happened 20 years apart, citing 'police and government involvement' etc etc. If you have genuinely contacted 140 lawyers since your sister died that's approx 1 a day, every day.....that's a paranoic response and you need help to deal with that.

Please see your GP, urgently. Show him/her this thread if you can't articulate your need clearly. Please.

Freemasonic involvement? Is your mother afraid? Why does she want it hush hush?

If your father and sister were murdered, I don't think you'll ever get the truth.

Police, media, government and courts back each other up.

Just know that nobody gets away with anything. The effects of a bad deed follow the perpetrator.

I hope you can make peace. Justice will be served.

That’s over 5 years

First, see your GP, and tell them about your thoughts. 120 lawyers is a lot. The journalist going quiet after initial interest is usually because the person they're dealing with is unreliable and it would be unethical to proceed.

Depending on the country you're in, have you tried contacting journalists abroad? This will be more relevant if you're in Russia rather than Australia.

Ask yourself, what possible benefit will you get out of pursuing this further? It sounds like it will just bring on a whole lot of stress.
Your DSis has passed, nothing can change that. Allow yourself the time to grieve and process. Try not to fixate on the unknowns - you will drive yourself crazy.

*Edited to say 'DSis' instead of 'DS'

Deleted as now see you have already contacted lawyers.

that's the least of OPs concerns

I wrote tired and late at night. As murdering IS by definition a deliberate act, it wouldn’t make sense to read this as her being a murderer.

OP mental health issues and illnesses run in families. Was your sister schizophrenic? You need urgent medical assistance.

What a difficult situation, OP. I agree with you that we would all want clear answers in your situation. Unfortunately what has probably happened is that a combination of slow and ineffective processes has increased your paranoia and distrust, and has then impacted your ability to seek the information in a rational and effective way. This has made the services less likely to share information properly, exacerbating the cycle. While no one here can tell you it’s impossible your sister was murdered, it is the least likely scenario. Aside from most murders having some physical indication, the medical professional doing the autopsy is going to have absolutely zero reason to misrepresent cause of death, unless you think he or she was responsible for your sister’s death. The hospital is almost certainly trying to cover their arse, a patient died in their hospital, arse covering and keeping you at arms length are almost expected. They probably were over staffed and didn’t do a great job with notes etc, and then staff are retrospectively trying to remember if she was sleeping or resting, which is probably something that seemed very unimportant at the time! You can be frustrated about that and want information to make sense of what happened for your sister, but realistically your conviction she was murdered is going to make it really hard to get to the actual facts

I find these responses utterly bizarre. One poster even asked if my Sister was schizophrenic and implied I might be too, for thinking she was deliberately harmed. At least that was an honest response about the stigma and judgment which seems fairly evident from these posts.

It would be unusual if my sister was harmed in a hospital but given the conflicting information, and other people’s suspicions, it’s not impossible or crazy I’ve considered this or care about it a few months after death. What is crazy is the expectation that I wouldn’t want to discuss those concerns for less than 120 pounds an hour (or equivalent where I live.)

I am genuinely taken aback by the responses, the apathy and the bombardment of criticisms as to why I must be crazy and need mental health help for wondering this or considering it. My post is clear that other people have considered something suspicious too.

Even if I did have mental illness, I’d still have the right to be enquiring and upset and consider all possibilities. Thinking 3 dimmensionaly isn’t legal or warrant a diagnosis.

OP what are you expecting from this thread that you didn't get from your previous thread/s?

What do you want internet randoms to say that all the lawyers, journalists, family members and hospital staff didn't?

I know what it's like to lose someone and never have answers as to why they died, so I get it to an extent. But what you're doing doesn't seem to be helping you, so maybe you should try something else.

Your last thread was bizarre. But slightly different. Originally it was your step mom who didn't want to know. This time your birth mom.

I really can't keep up.

I am genuinely taken aback by the responses, the apathy and the bombardment of criticisms as to why I must be crazy and need mental health help for wondering this or considering it. My post is clear that other people have considered something suspicious too.

I'm sorry you don't think people are trying to help. But you have told us that you believe that
The hospital
The coroner
The police
A journalist
The government and
140 lawyers that you spoke to

Are all somehow involved in a conspiracy to keep the truth from you. I've already explained just how unlikely this is. Your insistence that it's true is why people are worried for your mental health. It really is in your best interests that you see a professional about this.

Is the “conflicting” information that she was settled, and also asleep? If so that isn’t conflicting.

I wrote hospital notes as part of my job. I am encouraged to write “settled” as I can’t ever be certain someone is sleeping and not just laying with their eyes closed or deceased at a glance.

It’s also possible she was napping on and off all morning, meaning she would be settled and sleeping.

Did you mean to type “unsettled”??

This explains what happened the morning of her death. It states the final medication had minimal effect yet all of the observations say ‘settled’ or ‘sleeping’.

In this section of the report it says ‘one hour later she was assessed as mildly aroused’. However all the observations state that she was settled or sleeping during this time period.

Yes that is exactly 100% what I am saying. The coroner is under the justice department as are the police and the hospital are all within state government. Yes, I don’t know if you can hear me over there in your suburban beige bubble but yes, please brace yourself for the shock of a lifetime…. I am indeed claiming a crazy, crazy, whack job conspiracy theory that shock, horror, government departments are oppressing me. Either because there is a criminal component or for legal reasons.

No, I don’t think homicide or manslaughter in a prison or hospital or any facility is a conspiracy theory, I think it’s just unusual. I also think it’s a shocking thought to process which is why I came on here and found a whole bunch of women ready to stigmatise me for being crazy and poke holes.

To the other poster saying you’re so lost. I find it completely odd you did a search on me so soon. I also find it odd that many of these responses remind me so much of the government departments I’ve been shut down by - gaslighting, undermining, oppressing.

You’re lost because you’re reading two threads on different deaths - who would have thought that would be confusing & involve different family members. My Dad remarried. The situation is bizarre and I can’t make sense of the coincidence of two immediate family members dying in their 40’s and both deaths I’ve been given odd information or a lack of info.

Maybe a dual approach might help: on the one hand, I can see you need to pursue this further, not least for your own peace of mind, and on the other hand, if this dominates your life for years to come, your own life may be ruined, which I'm sure your father and sister wouldn't want.

Can you dedicate an evening a week to trying to get to the bottom of these tragic events, but avoid spending time on it for the rest of each week?

And as for methods, it sounds like you might not get anywhere with solicitors. Maybe try your MP? And I wonder if a GP might be able to explain some of the oddities in your sister's medical records.

Best of luck. And I'm so sorry for your loss.

Hospitals make mistakes. Occasionally criminal. Cover ups can happen. But you have spoken to 140 lawyers. That in itself is a sign of obsessive behaviour. Those 140 independent, unemotional, unbiased individuals have all told you that there's nothing in it. Lawyers are famous for not turning down money. For none of them to think there's s case, there must really be nothing in it.

I am sorry all this has happened to you and your family. Condolences for your loss 💐

In my experience of professional explanations of deaths that could have been avoided, there is obfuscation, blame-shifting and metaphorical shrugging of shoulders.

On two occasions I have been involved in deciding whether to pursue further official explanations and accountability. Both times I voted no to preserve my own sanity.