if I told you I wanted to socialise with my surgeon

[EustaceEustace]

you'd tell me he couldn't because it was inappropriate and that I was unreasonable for asking right?

But if you are famous, you can get your surgeon to do an interview with you, a cosy photoshoot and say things like:

“We’re going to be friends for the rest of our lives,” McCall says to him. “We are going to go out to dinner with our partners! We are GOING TO DO IT!”

https://www.thetimes.com/article/1c160a07-3b88-4e58-8db0-f5624a5ac4f6

Davina McCall: My brain surgery and the doctor who saved me
When the TV presenter posted on social media in November that she had a brain cyst, she was already on the operating table. Now the patient and her neurosurgeon, Kevin O’Neill, reveal their powerful bond

(paywall but basically an interview with her and her surgeon (from which the above is a direct quote) and a photoshoot - the image below is just one picture. There is another where he's in a suit and she has her hand draped over him

don't know if this will link:

https://www.thetimes.com/imageserver/image//2f5253ea-1e0d-4e18-9ae9-0857a96ad44d.jpg?crop=3543,2834,0,663

Makes me think less of him that he agreed to do it in that way because I bet almost everyone who has successful brain tumour surgery whether malignant or benign feels a huge emotional attachment and overwhelming gratitude to their surgeon - which is precisely why the professional rules about non-professional contacts with patients are so strict. The BMA even prohibits accepting social media friend request from patients!

AIBU to think she shouldn't have done this (i don't mean an interview about her surgery generally, I mean this 'emotional bond'/out for dinner/cosy photoshoot with the surgeon) or said what she said and he shouldn't have done it either.
and he wouldn't have done the same thing for someone non-famous (I get that is why there was interest from the paper - but say you had a leading allotment gardener who wanted to do the same thing in allotments weekly or a company secretary in company secretary monthly). Other patients could look at this and think, well if she can try to go out with him socially why can't I?

As a hospital consultant, I would not do this in a million years, however famous they were. I am really strict about boundaries. Not everybody feels the same.

I agree, I thought it was really strange !

Very strange and inappropriate. Professional boundaries matter.

I remember thinking exactly that when I saw the article. Not a chance in hell I'd socialise with the surgeon who dealt with a procedure for me recently, and I'm fairly sure he'd think exactly the same.

I thought this was bizarre and inappropriate. Can't imagine even considering this with my surgeon, who I've been seeing (medically only!) for 2.5 years now, so I know him quite well.

YANBU!!

I'm glad I'm not the only one. I was shocked too when I saw it but it was not just the fact of the interview - it was the heading and the tone of it and the style of the photos.

People go a bit insane when fame is involved I think. I've seen it in other fields as well. I know someone who was in the room during a court trial (many years ago) who tells a story when a famous at that time and very beautiful woman was giving evidence and aparently the judge was absolutely falling over himself to assist this woman like a little star struck school boy.

He’s quite handsome I think. That probably has something to do with her wanting to pose with him. I am glad Davina’s condition was detected and treated successfully but I have always found her to be a very irritating woman. What on earth is going on with her face? Anyone would be incredibly grateful to the surgeon that treated them. However why would that gratitude involve a lifelong friendship with your surgeon? I don’t understand why he would want to be friends with a patient. Maybe Davina is going to get him on the telly?

Her face seems to have sunken in as if she's got no back teeth.

@FondantFancyFan ah yes the old Joan Crawford trick.

Will probably up his private patient rate !

I thought the same thing. He will no doubt have his own podcast before the end of the year and appear regularly on This Morning 🤮

Yes that's weird. I have 2 of dc's drs who I really like and have known for years (16 years and 12 years) but I wouldn't want to meet up with either of them socially.

There will be an ITV primetime ‘documentary’ with him and McCall too

I thought this when I saw the headline. It just seems a bit attention seeking really. I appreciate she will have gone through a tough time and probably does have an emotional connection but like you say if it was Joe Bloggs down the road it just wouldn't happen.

I went with my auntie to all her appts with her oncology surgeon. He was so brilliant and very dashing - honestly like something out of a Mills & Boon book!

Last time I met him, after my lovely aunt had been given the all clear following his fantastic surgery, he told us he was going on his honeymoon alone next week as his bride had just jilted him a week before the wedding. Reader, I almost volunteered to accompany him
on the spot.

He looks like he wants to be famous.

It hasn't quite reached dinner with partners 😂but my son was in hospital for 308 days and we couldn't help but build up a relationship with many of the staff at the hospital. They are professionals but they are human too.

I'll never forget one of the doctors who came in on a day off to give my son a spiderman top that he'd bought because he knew how much my son loves spiderman and that's just one of many examples where they did technically probably cross professional boundaries.

I've lost count of how many of them I've hugged at this point and how many have hugged me.

She's an attention seeker, and as for him....posing at best and using the whole thing to advertise his wares at worst.

I'm not sure why but it's all quite tacky.

There are professional boundaries but meeting in a public place with journalists in tow is not exactly intimate and does raise awareness of the difficulties in diagnosing brain tumours. And yes I am sure any private practice he has hasn’t been harmed by the publicity.
She may have taken it differently but then she is always a bit over the top

I saw them posing back to back in another paper and thought that was so bizarre.

He must be blinded by the lights. Undoubtedly a brilliant surgeon whose had an excellent career. What is he wanting to do now? Media? Surgeon to the famous who want to sell their stories? I'd be put off him if he were my surgeon.

Odd but I don't think it is illegal or against actual rules though?

“Today, there is a rapport between McCall and O’Neill that is like that of old friends. “I’m an empath,” O’Neill says. He is a million miles away from the stereotype of the brain surgeon with a God complex. “I have to have an emotional connection with my patients.”

Sorry, but I run a mile from anyone who describes themselves as an ‘empath’ as I find them rather weird, creepy and full of themselves.

There's this too.

My son was in hospital for such a long time due to cancer and the complications it caused.

I'd absolutely be using my massive platform if I was famous and could bring so much awareness to it.

@PreciousRighteousTeacher I am glad Davina’s condition was detected and treated successfully but I have always found her to be a very irritating woman

I am exactly the same as you. I hate the "I'm mad, me" facade she does and all that bloody awful gurning, whooping and fake laughing.

I remember her earlier career when she was a bit more toned down and normal. I wonder if this zany persona is to try and appear younger as we know any women in telly are always in danger of being ousted by the next young thing. But I'd find her much more watchable if she lets someone else get a word in edgeways.

And this shambles of parading her new BFF surgeon around is both distasteful and attention seeking on both their parts.