if I told you I wanted to socialise with my surgeon

[EustaceEustace]

you'd tell me he couldn't because it was inappropriate and that I was unreasonable for asking right?

But if you are famous, you can get your surgeon to do an interview with you, a cosy photoshoot and say things like:

“We’re going to be friends for the rest of our lives,” McCall says to him. “We are going to go out to dinner with our partners! We are GOING TO DO IT!”

https://www.thetimes.com/article/1c160a07-3b88-4e58-8db0-f5624a5ac4f6

Davina McCall: My brain surgery and the doctor who saved me
When the TV presenter posted on social media in November that she had a brain cyst, she was already on the operating table. Now the patient and her neurosurgeon, Kevin O’Neill, reveal their powerful bond

(paywall but basically an interview with her and her surgeon (from which the above is a direct quote) and a photoshoot - the image below is just one picture. There is another where he's in a suit and she has her hand draped over him

don't know if this will link:

https://www.thetimes.com/imageserver/image//2f5253ea-1e0d-4e18-9ae9-0857a96ad44d.jpg?crop=3543,2834,0,663

Makes me think less of him that he agreed to do it in that way because I bet almost everyone who has successful brain tumour surgery whether malignant or benign feels a huge emotional attachment and overwhelming gratitude to their surgeon - which is precisely why the professional rules about non-professional contacts with patients are so strict. The BMA even prohibits accepting social media friend request from patients!

AIBU to think she shouldn't have done this (i don't mean an interview about her surgery generally, I mean this 'emotional bond'/out for dinner/cosy photoshoot with the surgeon) or said what she said and he shouldn't have done it either.
and he wouldn't have done the same thing for someone non-famous (I get that is why there was interest from the paper - but say you had a leading allotment gardener who wanted to do the same thing in allotments weekly or a company secretary in company secretary monthly). Other patients could look at this and think, well if she can try to go out with him socially why can't I?

That’s a bit unfair, she’s probably trauma bonded to him, he’s saved her life effectively. She is always keen and very enthusiastic about stuff , he’s probably got sucked into that (am still totally appalled by him saying he is an empath though!).

whatever she’s promoting she does give her heart and soul to, challenge is she’s got form for jumping on bandwagons. No sugar/zoe etc etc. this is slightly different not a bandwagon.

I’m not interested enough to read the articles. I just find her a really tedious attention seeker who should spend some time OFF social media and out of the limelight.

I think he's got stars in his eyes and has been swept away by her enthusiasm.

YANBU. Why is "everyone" so needy for attention these days. Makes us more reserved types look like the weird. 😄.

I love Davina but I found the surgeon a little strange when I read the article, all the talk of being an 'empath', his 'fashion model' girlfriend and these two other quotes that I've attached. Doesn't everyone's career depend on their memory? Should he be worrying more about operating on a famous person? He definitely comes across as star struck and I wouldn't want him as my surgeon with all his 'feelings' woo.

I get the impression the journalist was a bit sceptical too.

Got me on a Joan Crawford Google tangent now.
I will get to the bottom of the rumours!

http://www.theconcludingchapterofcrawford.com/debunking_thebuccalI

God help us, as if surgeons aren't busy enough!

What strikes me here is that the surgeon sounds like a bit of an idiot, or has been made to sound like one by the interview.

There’s a fair bit of surgeon socialising around here, purely because we live near two hospitals and a big oncology clinic, and if you make friends with neighbours, there’s a high concentration of medics. I’ve certainly had dinners here where a cardiac surgeon and someone whose valve replacement he did were both there, and DH had his gall bladder taken out by the neighbour diagonally across the road, who we used to see socially. The gynae directly across has done several CSs for women who live around. But obviously they’re not giving weird ‘bonding with my celebrity client’ interviews.

I like the surgeon who is treating me for a particular problem, i've seen him for consultations three or four times now. He seems like a nice bloke, we chat about various things at the appointments. But that's it. Anything more would be weird.

@EustaceEustace some people just want to stay in the papers and news for anything!! she contributes nothing!

My daughter has the exact same condition as Davina, her surgeon is lovely, but would never associate with his patients outside the hospital environment.

On the other hand the gynaecologist she had might, he was such a cocky shit and loved power. I’d been warned about him prior that he loved himself 🤔

Ethically it's really iffy.

That is not ok! I meet people in my routine practice who I think I would get along with but it’s not ever appropriate!

I’m just listening to a podcast where she is saying she struggles to eat enough protein and can’t manage a full chicken breast.

I’ve heard her say before that’s her face and that if she had surgery/fillers she’d get abuse so she can’t win.

When I had knee surgery years ago, I woke up on the ward with a message on Facebook from the anaesthetist who put me under.

He said he knew it wasn’t professional to be messaging me, but he hoped I was feeling ok and that the surgery would make a difference for me.

I didn’t report it, but in hindsight I probably should have done.

I think surgery can attract people with huge egos. He probably loves the chance at attention and fame.

There was a surgeon who got in trouble as he was putting his signature on his patient's internal organs after surgery (without their knowledge or consent obvs).

Why are so many people making horrible comments about DM's face?

So who is using who here??

Is she using him to draw attention to medical problems that we should be checked for as this brain tumour was found in a scan for menopause symtoms?

Or is using her because he wants to be a judge on The Masked Singer? have a slot on This Morning?

It's not really something I can get wound up about or spend time thinking about after I close this thread.

Thank you so much, I had no idea.

Completely inappropriate. Keep your boundaries for a reason!

But that wasn't her face some months ago, that's the point people are making. There is a noticeable dramatic change in her face the type one usually sees in extreme sudden weight loss. I've always thought she looked healthy and lovely and nothing noticeable about her face, she has high cheekbones which enhance her face in a good way. I recently saw her on tv and was shocked at the change so its a very recent thing.

Just to add, I hate it when celebrities have a dramatic change in their physical look and explain it as, 'i've always looked like this'. You don't, and everyone can see it. She has every right not to say what has happened or is happening to her, but being the celebrity she is, she cannot be surprised people are asking questions.

Why are people focusing on her looks and weight loss? I lost 2 stone when I had a brain tumour, it's pretty terrifying sitting in front of a Neurosurgeon, listening to how you might die before the op, during the op or have either a haemorrhage or stroke. My surgeon had to go through my memory, so complete memory loss post surgery was also a risk. Thank goodness I'm not famous and had to see my looks discussed on a public forum too.

I do think people are being a bit unkind to Davina here. It’s his job to maintain professional boundaries, not hers.

Who knows, maybe he’s trying to work out how to get out of the meal tactfully?

I should imagine most people with careers on TV are attention seeking to a degree otherwise why would they be up for it? I’m glad that Davina is as she’s done a lot of good for us women over 50.

Nobody’s perfect, but on the whole, I think she’s a wonderful role model, giving me confidence, hope and inspiration as a 50 something woman.

This is normal to me. I've seen my surgeon upwards of 20 times. We chat about all sorts of stuff. He seems to be a nice chap.