I think my son is gay

[YeahYeahYeahsFan]

Don't know what to do about my son, what would you do!
I would be completely okay with whatever happens. As a bit of background, we come from a strictly religious family (Catholic.) I am not homophobic AT ALL, I have countless gay friends whom I have no prejudice against.
It's my son that I'm worried about; he struggles with feelings of shame and inadequacy as part of this religion and I know that even the thought of being gay would make him distraught and give him so many unmanageable emotions. I also believe he has a crush on his close (male) friend who we've known for years. The crush is quite obvious to me (perhaps that's because I'm his mother!) but I think he's in denial. Recently, I overheard what sounded like prayer in his bedroom in between him sobbing and asking for repentance and forgiveness for, presumably, his sexuality. I feel so so sorry for him. I know he doesn't have any issues with other people being gay, but if it were him I think he would feel shattered.

I've made the fact that I am not homophobic and I will always love him blatantly clear. My question is, AIBU to suspect this? Am I overthinking??!!! Also what would you do!!!
Many thanks😁

Your son has been spiritually brainwashed OP.
Times have moved on. Lots of Christians are gay! Even Catholics.

Maybe jesus was gay or bi. Live your life, explore your urges. We ll all be dead for long enough, no need to live a life of shame or denial of natural desires.

Is there a deeper reason why he is clinging on to this mindset that may be making him so miserable? Why has he latched on so hard to his aunt's way of thinking? Is there something else he is more afraid of if he was to leave it?

what a waste of a life

Maybe highlight that everyone’s faith is individual and it’s about hanging onto the bits that add to your life, not bits that hold you back. He can still be into the whole be a good person/treat others well side of Catholicism without taking on the anti-gay stuff (which isn’t in keeping with the other stuff anyway!!). Just let him know it’s ok to be many things - strong, sensitive, kind, confident etc. You say you have a lot of gay friends - could one maybe talk to him? One that’s less effeminate perhaps if that’s something he is against. It might be a case of “you can’t be what you can’t see” and a role model would be good for him to show him you can be a strong “masculine” man and also gay.

Why?
If a person is content, and confident the choices they have made in life are the right ones for them, that life isn't wasted.

Why on earth has your son been raised in a religion/way that makes him ashamed of his sexuality? This makes me so angry, the poor lad.

I've made the fact that I am not homophobic and I will always love him blatantly clear.

@YeahYeahYeahsFan Have you? And in the same conversation? Because it's all well and good saying each of these things separately but I think you need to have a very open conversation with him. He's obviously tormented and the coming out process can be protracted, painful and confusing....oftentimes irrespective of religion or assurances of support.

I'd be so deeply wounded by the fact he is weeping in his room. The poor thing. Have you spoken to him when this happens? As in knocked on his door and sat with him? I'm not for a moment suggesting you're not being loving or attentive or supportive but he is evidently crying out for help so I wouldn't fear invading his privacy or feeling like you're being intrusive. Clearly something is causing him grave upset and on that basis you need to help him.