To help a friend with their house purchase?

[DoNoTakeNo]

He is likely to be divorcing in the next few months & doesn't have the finances available to buy the family home (no kids involved) to which he is really emotionally attached.

I believe he is short by around £100k which DH & I are lucky enough to have.

WIBU to help him out?
And would a straight loan be better than jointly buying the house with him? FWIW he is self employed in a steady business & we've known him for over a decade.
I want to help him, he is genuinely a good man, but I'm not prepared to risk my kids inheritance!

(Sorry I don't know how to enable voting from the app.)

I would say don't do it. You have 100k + available because you have saved it - for you and your family's future security - not for friends.

If this chap could afford to repay an extra 100K then the bank would lend it to him. I think you will ruin your friendship doing this. Being emotionally attached to a house is not a good reason to stay somewhere that he can't afford.

But IF you do lend it to him then it HAS to be secured against the house by a legal charge so that the house can't be sold without you getting your money back. I think it would have to be a second charge if he needs a mortgage as the bank would want the first charge. Not sure if a bank will allow it for a house purchase with a mortgage at all though. If you wanted your money back trying to force the sale of a house in court is expensive. There is a danger that the house would not be sold and you would not be repaid during your lifetime.

I guess if you're a multi-millionaire/billionaire and you won't miss £100k if it's never paid back, then it's a generous thing to do. If you're not that wealthy then no, I wouldn't loan your friend that much money. He'll have to grow up and learn to live within his means.

I would maybe loan my sister or best friend £10k. Yes I would be pissed off th loose it, but ultimately it’s not going to impact me too much in the long term to loose it. This represents less than 10% of our annual take home pay. I suppose of you’re earning over a million, I could maybe understand why you’d be prepared to do it. If you’re not, I’m not sure why you’re considering it.

you also might not be doing him any favours and instead tying him into a mortgage iver a house he clearly cloves but cannot afford.

To me it’s a wild amount of money.

No way! Invest it for your children’s futures.

I thought you meant a couple of grand at the most

That's an insane amount of money to lend him. At the absolute most you could invest in the property but I wouldn't be loaning that kind of money

Which is more important, your children's inheritance or some bloke you've known for ten years? Anyway, who's to say you won't fall on hard times at some point - life can be a bastard. Or you and your kids might really, really want £100,000 for some kind of opportunity in a few years time. To be honest, I can't believe you've even considered this - especially for a life changing sum of money. You must either be bonkers or besotted with the bloke.

Absolutely not at all. NO NO NO. I'm utterly shocked by your thread. Why on You earth would you do this? Might as well chuck it in the sea.

A friend of mine did this and helped a friend in need with a loan. They defaulted, stopped payments, friend couldn't continue them and ended up bankrupt.

Only do it if you are happy to never see the 100k again,

Oh Dear God No!!!!!

You'd be CRAZY to give £100K to someone when you're earmarking that for your children's futures. And I say "give", as you really don't know if you'll ever see it again. So many relationships turn sour when money's involved. Don't do it.

I imagine he’s came over with this begging cap since you know how emotionally attached he is…

They may not even divorce and sail off with your 100k. Trust nobody.

I bloody love Mumsnet!
Decision made.
Thank you 🤩

Ridiculous. Wouldn’t do it in a million years. 100k? Can you afford to lose it?

Unless you buy the house and he stays in it paying you rent with a tenancy agreement, don't do it.

Bloody hell.

Some people really do seem to rely on mumsnet don’t they?!

Phew, pleased to read your update. I was getting quite stressed reading your post.

It’s very kind that you thought of doing this, but it would be bonkers in my opinion. You would likely not see that money again!

She just needed a bit of a wake up call, leave her be.

Not a good idea at all and it will destroy the friendship and you'll lose your children's inheritance money.

Wise decision OP. Money and friendship don't mix. You'll probably lose money and/or friend.

Not unless you are about to divorce and run off with him. Even then it's probably a bad idea.

Unless you piss money no.

100% no.

How would he pay you back? I personally wouldn’t do it, but if you do, you need to have an absolutely watertight legal document of some sort that is enforceable if something goes wrong. Do not be tempted to do this on trust, it doesn’t matter how nice he is or how long you’ve known him, people do all sorts of unimaginable stuff when money is involved.

You would be insane. Totally insane.

God no. I thought you were going to say £10K and I’d say only if you can afford to loose it.

Definitely not.
Only ever lend money knowing that there is a high chance you won't be getting it back, ever.
You may loose the money plus your friendship.