To still be breastfeeding?

[FirstBaby886]

I have a 6.5 month old baby. Everyone (my parents, partner etc) were very supportive of me breastfeeding in the beginning. Now it's completely turned and I keep being told it's my fault if my life is hard. I just can't see how introducing formula would help?! Yes, grandma could look after him once a year (they live abroad!!!) and DH could give a bottle at the weekend, but I'm making the other 99% of bottles? I'm being told I should go on shopping days, nights out etc and I just don't want to.

I found breastfeeding incredibly hard in the beginning. But around 5 months it got so much easier and I feel like I've done the hard part, I may as well continue.

Baby has CMPA so choosing the right formula would be a pain in the arse anyway.

My parents are visiting and I've just been sat down for a lecture about how I'm too tied to this child and I should go out with my husband. I explained baby will be hungry in an hour and my mother's answer: let him go hungry a bit, he'll be fine.

I don't know if I'm a martyr or what?.

Of course then my husband could give a bottle every once in a while and would have an excuse to do fuck all around the house, that's my suspicion anyway.

My mum had severe PND with me and she's projecting a bit, I think. She keeps talking about what an ordeal having a baby is and how i should be taking care of myself.

Anyway, for those of you who started formula feeding, did everything really get so much better?

Why is what you believe is best for you and your baby anything to do with anyone else on this planet?

Fuck that shit.

Why would DH only be giving a bottle on the weekend? Why wouldn't he doing feeds after he's home from work, or bedtime routine? Is LO ever fed from expressed milk in a bottle?

Nope. I regret moving my first onto formula, made life more stressful! If you are happy and enjoying it then carry on. Is your husband supportive?

coming to see if your child was 4 years old…. 6.5 mo is tiny still and I totally get what you mean about having done the hard part. By this point breastfeeding seems much easier and more convenient to me. They should mind their own business!

None. Of. Their. Business.

Do what YOU want to do. They have no right to pressure you.

The World Health Organisation recommends breastfeeding up to 2 years old or beyond. www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/infant-and-young-child-feeding#:~:text=continue%20frequent%2C%20on%2Ddemand%20breastfeeding,increase%20food%20consistency%20and%20variety;

I thought from the title you were going to say little one was a toddler or pre-school age!
Mine never had bottles, I didn’t really see the point as I’d be giving them 99% of the time. You are definitely not being unreasonable and sounds like your Mum has a lot of baggage.
DS is 2 and breastfeeding is like magic when he’s poorly or hurt or clingy, or to encourage him to nap at the right time. I’m fortunate that nursing to 2-3 years old is pretty normal in my circles, I hope you have some support - it sounds like you’re doing a great job.

I formula fed from birth and one of the reasons why was so that DH could do 50% of the feeds when we were both home. If you are going to be moving to formula and still doing basically all of the feeds anyway then there's no point.

Still breastfeeding my 15 month old with CMPA and several other allergies here!

Ignore them. People still tell me I should stop so I can go back to eating a normal diet (my baby reacts to it even through my milk, extremely sensitive). But I know my baby and can still tell he's getting a lot from it (even comfort and that's 1000000% ok!).

Formula is a brilliant tool but for allergy babies especially breastfeeding mum on an exclusion diet is better for the baby. I was given some amino acid formula if I wanted to try it for when I went back to work. They're disgusting, they taste a lot worse than normal formula and many parents do struggle to get babies to take them, whether previously breastfed or formula fed. There's tips about adding things like vanilla extract, nesquick and all sorts to try get the baby to take them. I ended up going to breastfeed baby in my lunch break (on site nursery).

I have a happy and confident toddler, still loves some milky cuddles but is equally happy with other people and at nursery. I can and do go out. If breastfeeding works for you keep at it!

Your first sentence is the only bit I read because there's literally no possible scenario where breastfeeding your 6.5 month old would be unreasonable. You do you.

Bloody Hell I thought you were going to say your child was 5 and at school.

Milk is their main food until at least 12 months and if you are happy breastfeeding why in earth would you want the hassle of making up bottles!

I've done both, breastfeeding was far less work.

I can't imagine why you'd want to try moving a child with CMPA onto a specialist formula when it's much easier to continue BFing. My youngest had a CMPA, I'd fed his older sister for over 2 years but with DS I BF until he grew out of his allergy at 4. He didn't like any milk substitutes so it meant I knew he was getting plenty of the best possible milk. You are right that BFing a baby post the introduction of solids is much easier than BFing a tiny baby. Snd your child will naturally start dropping feeds now you are introducing solids. Tell your family the only two people who matter and you and your child and you do not want to stop feeding him yet.

It’s just another way for people to be opinionated about stuff women do. Some people, including women and our own mothers, are basicslly programmed to try and make us feel shit about everything. It’s like a reflex patriarchal action.

i even had a specialist breast surgeon tell me that breastfeeding a baby after 6 months was “for my benefit only”. I thought a) so what?? Even if it was just for me and my convenience, why would that be a reason to stop and b) complete load of bollocks scientifically.

I BG until LO was 6 months, then he chose to stop much to my disappointment. I found formula harder, all the sterilising, all the stuff that needs to go with you when you go out, getting hot water etc, much easier to just pop out a boob! If you don't feel ready to stop BF then don't, that in itself comes with all sorts of hormonal issues.

I clicked you are being unreasonable.

Only because you are being unreasonable to have not told them to fuck off!

Keep going mumma 💪

I think you're spot on. The first few months of BFing are hard and then it's easy.
You've got food wherever you go instantly, a really easy way to soothe an upset baby, a magic tool for getting baby to sleep... plus no need to faff with bottles and sterilising.

If you're happy and baby is happy, crack on.

I fed my first to 2.5 and plan to do similar with this one (she's 15 months).

But if dad wants to give a bottle or two of formula (or pumped milk) in the weekend, I don't see an issue. It doesn't have to be one or the other.

God no! You've got to the good bit where it's easy, don't stop now! I hate the idea that everyone else needed to be able to feed the baby. There's so many other, more helpful things for them to do! Don't stop until you want to.

Yeah it's 50/50 or there's really no point, especially if you are happy to keep doing it. Ignore everyone else.

It's so hard though - I breastfed until 21 months in the end, but by that time DD was 50/50 breast and bottle. I didn't introduce bottle at all until 1 (basically until I went back to work), so we could move straight to full fat milk and save £100s on formula. Nighttime feeds we could then take in turns and it was 50/50 all the way.

I found breastfeeding between 6-12 months particularly useful because although DD was weaning to food, she wasn't eating tons and still wanted milk a lot. Also if she was feeling unwell and refused food or we were travelling anywhere, I could still offer her the breast.

You need to sit your mother down and tell her she needs to learn some manners. Since when was it acceptable to visit someone and have a go at them?!!!

I was a bottle feeder - but if bf had worked for me, I would not have taken kindly to being told to stop.

I opened this looking for solidarity as my DS is 2.5 years and still bf - he's scrabbly and scratchy and I wouldn't be too sorry if he decided to give up soon...

6.5 months! You have so much more freedom with bf than you would with formula. As long as you have nappies you can be out as long as you like! Don't let anyone pressure you either way. Giving formula is fine, bf is fine, mixing it up is fine and it is no one else's business.

Find a way to cut them off and refuse to discuss it at all. Practise a few phrases and if they persist ask why they think they get a say?

Your breasts, your baby, no one else’s business. I’m feeding my nearby 2 year old and I’ll stop when we’re ready. I fed his sister till she was 3. No one said a word to me, I couldn’t give two shits what anyone else thinks.

That 19% currently think you’re wrong to be feeding your young baby the way that human infants were made to be fed says a lot about the incredible job the formula industry have done on our culture.

People would rather you fed your baby milk that cows produce for their calves, mixed with fish oils and additives, than a dynamic substance which adapts to your baby each feed, includes antibodies, is naturally sterile and always the perfect temperature is utterly bizarre. By breastfeeding you’re protecting your baby from tummy bugs and ear infections and childhood obesity and yourself from some types of cancers. It’s completely normal. Ignore the idiots. Carry on as long as you want to.

I've just stopped bf my youngest age 3. So no need to stop unless you're ready

If you are happy it's just fine. You are right, people are projecting.

It can be nice to have the baby able to take a bottle in case you ever find you really do need to get away, much as for an appointment, but really, it will be fine even then.

At 6.5 months I might think about introducing a cup rather than a bottle. It will take a bit of time for the baby to become proficient with it but it allows for some flexibility when you need it and it's good once you start introducing food anyway.

To echo what others have said; 6.5 months is tiny!

it is good you can see your mother is projecting. I am sorry that people in your environment are not being supportive of breastfeeding.

i absolutely understand what you mean about having done the hard bit: I felt breastfeeding got easier after 4 months. I continued breastfeeding long after this.

you do you - do what suits you best !

and if you want to meet like minded breastfeeding mums maybe try and find a La Leche League support group near you. They are not just for people having problems b’feeding! I loved mine, time for a chat and a biscuit and to see others breastfeeding.

Ignore, ignore, ignore!

I breastfed until a year but had a specific event I really wanted to go to at six months that required me to be away for 6 hours, so I spent weeks training baby to take a bottle as well. Was such a faff and I’d never have bothered if I had no real reason to. BF is so much easier than bottle once you’ve got the hang of it.

just do what feels right for you and ignore everyone else. If they’re getting on your nerves I’d just say something like “mum, I appreciate your advice is coming from a good place and wanting to help me, but I’m really happy with how things are so please can we drop this topic? I’m not interested in moving to formula so will keep BFing for as long as it works for me and baby”. Then shut down any further chat from her on it!

Surely the only way you could be unreasonable is to be forced feeding a child who didn't want to anymore. Other than that breastfeed for as long as it works for you and the child and narnas to anyone who has a different unwanted opinion.